Mum taken stepdaughters birthday present.

[Whybotherwithaname]

Name changed as outing and posting for traffic.

Late last year it was my stepdaughters 16th birthday. Her main present from DH and I was a Tiffany necklace - the standard dog tag pendant one - she loved it and wore it every day until around Christmas. Since then she's not worn it - no big deal at all, however, tonight over dinner she said her mum has taken the necklace and wears it everyday, has done since the start of the year. She said she has asked for it back several times but said her mum made a joke saying now you know how frustrating it is when you use my makeup and trainers. She says she sleeps with it on so can't just take it back and has given up.

I feel sad about it to be honest. What do you think can be done about this? It's not right to have her special birthday present taken away from her like this.

PS: I went back to the beginning and see it was given last year.

Guess that’s the most peace keeping option except it lets ithis immature action be condoned. What’s there to stop mother taking the second one? She obviously hasn’t grown up herself

What second one? The girl's mother borrowed the necklace for some reason but has returned it.

We don't why she did not return it sooner, it's possible the op's stepdaughter didn't mind (or even didn't like it much, I must say I wouldn't), but couldn't say that to her dad and stepmother. They have said the mother doesn't have form for that sort of thing so it does seem odd. However it's over now.

Honestly I’d call social services after filing for full custody. It’s emotional abuse! I’d also call the police and prosecute! It’s theft!

So if your stepdaughter is still living with the mum then you need to be careful about escalating. As you might be angry but she has to live there. I mean I guess she is angry too but she might be worried about escalating. As much as all the means of retreiving the necklace sound like great ideas.

But if she was up for it then go for it!

It might not be, but if this like, the tip of other unpleasant narcisstic behaviour, then you might be best placed being ready to support a 16 year old maybe realising that her mum isn't very nice. Or at the very least she's not a lot more mature than her daughter is.

This! if the daughter was lying and mum was reasonable, mum would have had the conversation about it not just said lol or not responded. Current situation sounds like mum is not reasonable.

Even if daughter was not being respectful of mums belongings, taking something valuable and refusing to give it back for months on end isn't teaching her a lesson, it's just petty and spiteful.

Do people not realise that the necklace is back with its owner?

Absolutely this, the Tiffany dog tag necklace is very very hot right now and I can’t imagine a 16 year old girl just giving it to her Mum.
The Mum sounds horrid.

That's rather dramatic.

Especially as the daughter has the necklace back.

Quite. The necklace wasn't stolen, it was borrowed - by her mother who lives in the same house. I've no idea why the mother borrowed it for so long or even if her daughter was really bothered but the girl has it back now.

I didn't realise the dog tag necklace was 'hot' right now but that doesn't mean everyone likes it, especially one with a heart on it (if I've remembered previous posts correctly, and that would be a 'heart tag' necklace). I am surprised 'mum' wanted to wear it but there's no accounting for taste.

The OP was initially wondering whether to just buy her another same necklace in the event of mother keeping the original.

I know that she considered doing that earlier on in the thread but didn't. Thank goodness!

I have to say, I find it quite telling that there are people posting on here that it's OK for the mum to have done this.

If this were a child and anyone else but mum had stolen the gift and was wearing it themselves there would be outrage in the responses. I'm going to guess the posters saying it's acceptable are mums with blended families (ie. A step mum involved) and they're just projecting personal feelings into this situation.

It's not OK for her to have taken your dsds gift OP.

YY @Frankola To get away with shit like this it seems you just have to have living proof that you have had sex without contraception.

It’s very “hot” right now.

Indeed, there is no accounting for taste.

The Tiffany Dog Tag has always been a heart btw.

Can you even imagine the outrage on here if it were the step mum who had been the one to have “borrowed” the necklace?

I think there has been plenty of outrage about the mother borrowing the necklace, accusations of theft, etc.

Thanks for the info about the heart, I googled and the Tiffany dog tag was different to the heart one but that doesn't matter. Either strike me as very 'young' items of jewellery and I can imagine in a few years women wondering why they ever wanted one (I presume the op's stepdaughter did actually want one).

@KatysMumJen oh absolutely. She'd be scum, evil to the core and jealous of her step daughter. Change it to the kids mum and it's "oh well" from some posters

I’ve had mine for about fifteen years…

To be honest, you sound so opposed to them that it’s actually making me think that you would like one.
Kinda serving Queen Gertrude from Hamlet vibes…

Treat yo’self, it’s a design classic. 🤪

You're assuming this woman actually uses child support for her daughter. If she's willing to steal her daughter's jewelry, then she probably doesn't even use the money she gets for her child. Just because you pay someone child support, doesn't mean they actually put it towards the child.

I was in Tiffany in Birmingham Selfridges last week for one hour and they sold three necklaces and one bracelet similar to that in that hour. The heart was smaller and blue. They are definitely all the rage.

Disgusting woman.

:-)
Honestly, if I wanted one I would say so and then have one. There have been times in my life when I have bought, or had bought for me, various items which I would not choose now.

However this thread is about a mum borrowing her daughter's jewellery, maybe hanging on to it too long but not stealing. The girl now has the pendant in her possession so I would have thought 'game over'.