Mum taken stepdaughters birthday present.

[Whybotherwithaname]

Name changed as outing and posting for traffic.

Late last year it was my stepdaughters 16th birthday. Her main present from DH and I was a Tiffany necklace - the standard dog tag pendant one - she loved it and wore it every day until around Christmas. Since then she's not worn it - no big deal at all, however, tonight over dinner she said her mum has taken the necklace and wears it everyday, has done since the start of the year. She said she has asked for it back several times but said her mum made a joke saying now you know how frustrating it is when you use my makeup and trainers. She says she sleeps with it on so can't just take it back and has given up.

I feel sad about it to be honest. What do you think can be done about this? It's not right to have her special birthday present taken away from her like this.

This is really sad. Its about so much more than the necklace - it shows the lack of respect mum has for her. :(

Echo what others have said. Dh to message her asking that the necklace is returned, and if not, the consequence is that he knocks the cost of the necklace off maintenance. That way he has it documented should she get Arsey about the maintenance bit.

The Police? Because a mum is wearing her daughters necklace? 😂My daughter is always wearing a top of mine, next time I'll just call 101!
OP probably just hasn't got the full story. It's possible that the sd doesn't like the necklace anymore and has said her mum can have it. Is it really such a big deal?

What difference would it make? It's clear she intends to keep it.

Maybe she does but it's very easy to put a stupid 'LOL' in a text but a little harder to openly be a twat when someone is face to face or speaking directly to you.

Hate to break it to you OP,. but your step daughter isn't arsed about the necklace.

Is DSD using her mum's stuff and not being careful with it / asking permission / ruining it? if so i totally get her mother's attitude.

TBH even if not, it seems to me that DSD needs to handle it with her mum. And you've all learned a lesson about what she takes to her mum's and what she leaves at yours.

Yep. And the lol from the mum is probably because the daughter gave it to her.

How can you possibly know that?

If that's to me, I don't, that's why I said 'probably'. Noone here knows what's happened. Not even the OP. What's happened is between the mum and the daughter. All this talk of calling the police and stopping maintenance payments because sd mum is wearing her necklace is ridiculous

No it wasn't. It was to catch you who said the ops stepdaughter isn't arsed about the necklace.

Unless she is the stepdaughter or possibly the stepdaughters mum, she cannot possibly know that.

Exactly this.

Doesn't really care about the necklace. Has made up a quick lie about it! Mum said lol because she knows it's in a drawer somewhere.

Do people honestly ring the police for shit like this ffs

He needs to talk to his ex if he's that bothered.

I will almost certainly guarantee that your SD hasn't told her dad the whole truth.

That sounds way beyond the the mother making a point and on the verge of nastiness. How is their relationship in general? If dh can't get through to her then I would buy another one and as someone uptrend suggested get it engraved and advice dsd to wear it all the time. Her future relationship with her mother will be coloured by this forever. One day she may have her own daughter and wonder why her mother took it so far. Just be there to support her qhen she reaches that realisation.

Thanks for the many replies.

Just to clarify...

Not going to call the police over this.

Not going to reduce maintenance over this as DH pays via CSA.

Dsd could be lying, but hasn't lied about something like this before so hard to tell.

DH did not text all guns blazing. He asked if what dsd had said was true. Dsd was angry at her mums lol response and she said she text her back last night asking why she denied it - her mum did not respond.

Dsd said she's going to ask her mum for the necklace back in front of her grandparents to see if that works.

Her mum doesn't have form for doing this. She's never done anything like this before so of course we need to keep an open mind that dsd could be exaggerating.

Thanks again all

tonight over dinner she said her mum has taken the necklace and wears it everyday,

What prompted this?

Was she asked about the necklace?

A 16 year old taking her mums makeup is normal.

Nope!

Wow. Stealing stuff from your mum is normal? Was never normal in my house, my children are a bit older and not once did my trainers, clothes, make up, perfume, or money etc get taken by any of them.

I don't see the issue with ringing the non emergency line and saying somethings been stolen. They could do a quick 5 minute call and point out what she's done is actually illegal and she could face serious consequences.

I'd definitely want more details. Might be mum is trying to make a point about taking other people's stuff and not returning it. Might be she's really fed up of asking her daughter not to help herself to expensive make up etc and dd keeps doing it anyway.

Or it might be that mum is just awful. But generally if a mum is awful, there tends to be a history of bad behaviour.

Dad should ring the mum and discuss it properly, like a grown up!

This can't be a serious post surely

Also, ringing the police would be massive overkill.

Normal as in common I think, not normal as in acceptable and natural.

It is common for teenagers to be a bit inconsiderate and take stuff without really thinking.

Oh yeah, I see what you mean, that makes sense.

(Still interested in whether the daughter has stopped being inconsiderate and taking her Mum's stuff without really thinking.)