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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband being a cock!!

233 replies

Sweeted · 02/04/2023 21:44

Was driving my 14yo son back from his weekend away and we went over a hidden pothole in the road which ripped a massive hole in my front offside tyre. I pulled over into a carpark and immediately assessed the damage and tried to connect to my breakdown and recovery app. Signal was patchy so I stayed with the car and asked my son to go along the road a bit to see if he could get some signal and call DHto tell him the tyre was torn and to ask him to contact recovery for me and explain the issue. DS said DH was sighing and grumbling and getting snappy, then said “go back to the car.” DS said he was being really off and he didn’t know if DH was calling breakdown or not, so I went along the road myself, found some signal and booked the recovery. I pay for fully comp platinum service so I know they have to get me home and then the vehicle somewhere to be repaired. I texted my husband to let him know I booked it

Fifteen minutes later, my DH pulls into the car park, gets out of his car with an air compressor, doesn’t say hello or anything and dives for my front wheel and attaches it to my tyre. The air pisses out of the massive tear. I said “What are you doing? That won’t work, there’s a tear in it.” He said, "yeah, I know- come here and look.” Well, I don’t need to look, I’ve already seen it haven’t I? Anyway, I do look and say “yes, I know. There’s a huge water filled pothole on the road. It looks like a little puddle.” He gave me a contemptuous look and said “I don’t know why you even drove this way.” I replied, "I don't even know what to say to that." Apparently he would have gone an alternate route and taken the car safely home, but I, with my obvious inferiority, chose a suboptimal route which was, according to google maps “two minutes slower.” 😑
Telling him that he could have been rear ended on his hypothetical better journey, could have hit a car, an animal or come across any number of incidents didn’t seem to compute. He's simply too good of a driver.

The breakdown man arrived. My husband pipes up with, “he’ll have to tow you, he won’t have a spare.” I replied that I wasn’t sure what would happen but it was ok. Because of what I pay for, I wasn’t bothered how it was done, I just knew it would be. But straight away he said to the guy, "you haven’t got a spare have you? No. See, I told you!” All smug like his penis gives him super foresight as well as route planning perfection. Then the guy said, "I do have a spare wheel though which will fit.” Husband went a bit quiet, I said, "aha, that’s perfect!” DH STRODE towards his car saying, "yeah, you’re all smug now so I’m going home.”

I replied, "Oh, ok, I don’t really know why you came though.” Because I didn’t! He left two kids (15yo and 7yo) at home to check if my assessment of a torn tyre was accurate. He zoomed out of that carpark.

It was so embarrassing! The repair guy said it looked like my husband didn’t believe I knew what had happened and said that regularly he sees blokes who think their wives have fucked up when stuff like this happens to them, but when it happens to the man, they’re blameless.

We got home, the car got to the garage. Exactly the service I pay for. As expected. I asked my husband why the hell he behaved like that and he said “I drove all that way to help you and you acted like you didn’t need my help. It was like a slap in the face!”

WHAT? Because I used the professional service I pay for to solve a problem he had no way of solving? AND told him in advance that I had done so? I told him I didn’t think he had come to help, he came to crow/whinge about how inept I am and how I have caused such a problem. He went on to say about how much money it’s going to cost for a new tyre when we just bought some. I asked what all this “we” business was about. I paid for the tyres, I pay for the servicing, the insurance, the recovery and breakdown, the MOT, the excesses and I will also be paying for this as he well knows, so he’s got nothing to be so pressed about!!

He had a good long session of sulking upstairs. It’s our son’s birthday tomorrow and my husband is meant to be helping me clean ahead of company arriving tomorrow and put up banners. He was literally sulking because he doesn’t like me ”going on at him^'" I just went up to ask him to come and do something to assist and he's fast asleep under the blankets.

Aibu to be boiling fucking mad??^

OP posts:
Merangutan · 02/04/2023 21:46

That’s a lot of italics.

Nimbostratus100 · 02/04/2023 21:46

yanbu, but it is hard to read when you keep switching fonts

Natty13 · 02/04/2023 21:48

You are well within your rights to be furious he was a dick!

Devoutspoken · 02/04/2023 21:50

Next time do not involve dh

Foxgate · 02/04/2023 21:50

Sounds like you just don’t particularly like each other.

GrazingSheep · 02/04/2023 21:51

Are you writing a book ?

EVHead · 02/04/2023 21:51

Is he always a patronising dick?

tennesseewhiskey1 · 02/04/2023 21:51

He sounds like a complete moron and a tool. What’s he like normally? One off? Maybe he had a bad day. Constantly belittling you? You have a bigger problem.

Kranke · 02/04/2023 21:53

I think the breakdown is the least of your problems.

Believeitornot · 02/04/2023 21:54

He’s a cock.

Karwomannghia · 02/04/2023 21:54

Utter bellend.

Knight900 · 02/04/2023 21:55

Your husband sounds like a jumped up prick. What the fuck is wrong with some of these guys. ( i am a man myself).

It is a crap situation- just deal with and crack on

so exhausting!

PrincessofWellies · 02/04/2023 21:55

Sending some sympathy your way, I've had one like this today too🙄

Pixiedust1234 · 02/04/2023 21:56

my husband is meant to be helping me clean ahead of company arriving

And thats your answer as to why he did what he did. Its your fault and you need to be punished because you have dared to insist he does womens work. Sorry OP, you have my deepest sympathies especially since he will continue this way until divorce or death Flowers

BitOutOfPractice · 02/04/2023 21:58

Did anyone else read this in a strange sing song voice in their head because of the italics?

Yep op, he's a cock

neilyoungismyhero · 02/04/2023 21:59

Similar here too....had to put up with it for years..

Ktime · 02/04/2023 21:59

Merangutan · 02/04/2023 21:46

That’s a lot of italics.

Looks like your husband is on the thread.

YANBU, men seem to resent that women can get stuff done without their input.

pictoosh · 02/04/2023 22:00

Always got to know better eh?
What an arsehole.

growgrowinggrown · 02/04/2023 22:00

@Pixiedust1234 has hit the nail on the head. He's taken himself off and now has his excuse for not helping and doing his fair share.

It's your fault he had to go and calm down/stay away from the 'argument'. You've made him feel awful and now he needs time to recover.

Utter tosser and not okay in the slightest.

He is unable to help with tasks related to his child's birthday... Excellent father.

I think I'd be taking a look at the bigger picture and having a proper conversation.

chipswitheveryting · 02/04/2023 22:00

This sentence is a thing of beauty...

All smug like his penis gives him super foresight as well as route planning perfection.

Well written that woman, you cheered me right up.

EndersGame · 02/04/2023 22:01

You have a 15 year old kid so have clearly been together a while ( unless this is a new relationship) and your only discovering now what a twat this man is.

Leave him

Ktime · 02/04/2023 22:01

chipswitheveryting · 02/04/2023 22:00

This sentence is a thing of beauty...

All smug like his penis gives him super foresight as well as route planning perfection.

Well written that woman, you cheered me right up.

I liked it too. The foreskin of foresight 😂

lemmein · 02/04/2023 22:02

chipswitheveryting · 02/04/2023 22:00

This sentence is a thing of beauty...

All smug like his penis gives him super foresight as well as route planning perfection.

Well written that woman, you cheered me right up.

Agreed. I think I love you OP Grin

susiesuelou · 02/04/2023 22:03

BitOutOfPractice · 02/04/2023 21:58

Did anyone else read this in a strange sing song voice in their head because of the italics?

Yep op, he's a cock

Yes - glad it wasn't just me 😆

And yes OP, he's a total cockwomble. Absolutely no need for his behaviour.

Sweeted · 02/04/2023 22:03

Sorry, I didn't realise I was switching fonts! I was doing this on my phone, I don't know what I've done to make that happen, sorry.

OP posts: