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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband being a cock!!

233 replies

Sweeted · 02/04/2023 21:44

Was driving my 14yo son back from his weekend away and we went over a hidden pothole in the road which ripped a massive hole in my front offside tyre. I pulled over into a carpark and immediately assessed the damage and tried to connect to my breakdown and recovery app. Signal was patchy so I stayed with the car and asked my son to go along the road a bit to see if he could get some signal and call DHto tell him the tyre was torn and to ask him to contact recovery for me and explain the issue. DS said DH was sighing and grumbling and getting snappy, then said “go back to the car.” DS said he was being really off and he didn’t know if DH was calling breakdown or not, so I went along the road myself, found some signal and booked the recovery. I pay for fully comp platinum service so I know they have to get me home and then the vehicle somewhere to be repaired. I texted my husband to let him know I booked it

Fifteen minutes later, my DH pulls into the car park, gets out of his car with an air compressor, doesn’t say hello or anything and dives for my front wheel and attaches it to my tyre. The air pisses out of the massive tear. I said “What are you doing? That won’t work, there’s a tear in it.” He said, "yeah, I know- come here and look.” Well, I don’t need to look, I’ve already seen it haven’t I? Anyway, I do look and say “yes, I know. There’s a huge water filled pothole on the road. It looks like a little puddle.” He gave me a contemptuous look and said “I don’t know why you even drove this way.” I replied, "I don't even know what to say to that." Apparently he would have gone an alternate route and taken the car safely home, but I, with my obvious inferiority, chose a suboptimal route which was, according to google maps “two minutes slower.” 😑
Telling him that he could have been rear ended on his hypothetical better journey, could have hit a car, an animal or come across any number of incidents didn’t seem to compute. He's simply too good of a driver.

The breakdown man arrived. My husband pipes up with, “he’ll have to tow you, he won’t have a spare.” I replied that I wasn’t sure what would happen but it was ok. Because of what I pay for, I wasn’t bothered how it was done, I just knew it would be. But straight away he said to the guy, "you haven’t got a spare have you? No. See, I told you!” All smug like his penis gives him super foresight as well as route planning perfection. Then the guy said, "I do have a spare wheel though which will fit.” Husband went a bit quiet, I said, "aha, that’s perfect!” DH STRODE towards his car saying, "yeah, you’re all smug now so I’m going home.”

I replied, "Oh, ok, I don’t really know why you came though.” Because I didn’t! He left two kids (15yo and 7yo) at home to check if my assessment of a torn tyre was accurate. He zoomed out of that carpark.

It was so embarrassing! The repair guy said it looked like my husband didn’t believe I knew what had happened and said that regularly he sees blokes who think their wives have fucked up when stuff like this happens to them, but when it happens to the man, they’re blameless.

We got home, the car got to the garage. Exactly the service I pay for. As expected. I asked my husband why the hell he behaved like that and he said “I drove all that way to help you and you acted like you didn’t need my help. It was like a slap in the face!”

WHAT? Because I used the professional service I pay for to solve a problem he had no way of solving? AND told him in advance that I had done so? I told him I didn’t think he had come to help, he came to crow/whinge about how inept I am and how I have caused such a problem. He went on to say about how much money it’s going to cost for a new tyre when we just bought some. I asked what all this “we” business was about. I paid for the tyres, I pay for the servicing, the insurance, the recovery and breakdown, the MOT, the excesses and I will also be paying for this as he well knows, so he’s got nothing to be so pressed about!!

He had a good long session of sulking upstairs. It’s our son’s birthday tomorrow and my husband is meant to be helping me clean ahead of company arriving tomorrow and put up banners. He was literally sulking because he doesn’t like me ”going on at him^'" I just went up to ask him to come and do something to assist and he's fast asleep under the blankets.

Aibu to be boiling fucking mad??^

OP posts:
FurAndFeathers · 02/04/2023 22:20

TheHateIsNotGood · 02/04/2023 22:15

If you look at the User Manual OP (which should be in your glove box) then you'll find where your spare wheel is kept, having a 7-seater doesn't mean you don't have a spare, it's probably underneath the body you dafty.

I love that you are determined you know the OL’s car better than she does 😂
mare you her husband?

Sweeted · 02/04/2023 22:21

Wilkolampshade · 02/04/2023 22:19

We don't have a spare either. Just the can of goo. Definitely a thing these days. Annoying in these circumstances but true.

Yep, just the goo. Good for a little puncture, not for a full massive tear I could fit my hand in.

OP posts:
Velvetbee · 02/04/2023 22:21

Some patronising shit on this thread. Our new car doesn’t have a spare (Skoda Octavia) and we’ve had 7 seaters before (Seat Alhambras) and they didn’t have spares either.

TheHateIsNotGood · 02/04/2023 22:21

Not all cars have a spare? Well, that's progress for you, I only drive old bangers so I didn't realize that new cars don't have spares anymore. That's even more ridiculous than either the OP or her DH.

ILoveMyCaravan · 02/04/2023 22:21

@TheHateIsNotGood that's not correct. Most modern cars do not have spare tyres. My 7 seater doesn't, just a can of foamy stuff in the boot - came as standard when we bought it.

LiliLil · 02/04/2023 22:23

Foreskin of foresight has killed me off 😂😂😂

Sweeted · 02/04/2023 22:25

Why are there so many picky little wankers on here tonight? It's MY car. Yes, I have ovaries, but they've not scrambled my brain so much that I can't identify a spare wheel in or under my vehicle. Even if I was suffering from XX mania, XY mechanic didn't find a fucking spare either. Know why? Because there isn't one! Why did I call roadside assistance when my tyre was torn? Because I NEEDED IT. I'm sure some of you would have fused the tyre back together with the power of your almighty pith, but I only have GreenFlag,

OP posts:
Radiodread · 02/04/2023 22:29

It's quite funny that on a post about carsplaining, you've attracted carsplainers to tell you why your actions were so daft and misguided.

Your diagnosis is right: cock. Hope he grovels rather than sulking and being strategically incompetent.

I think this was a big display of manly manliness to offset against your womanly and therefore second-rate party prep.

Twoscotcheggsandajarofmarmite · 02/04/2023 22:30

Wait until @TheHateIsNotGood finds out they don’t even come with a user manual anymore. I mostly use my glovebox to hide my chocolate stash.

Radiodread · 02/04/2023 22:30

You should write OP, if you don't already. You're good, and funny.

hettie · 02/04/2023 22:31

Ahh @Sweeted It's a Sunday on Mumsnet...ignore. For the record our 5/7 seater has no spare, only the goop that fixes a small puncture, it's fairly common these days. Your husband and your relationship sounds a bit shit though

Thelnebriati · 02/04/2023 22:31

My take from this is to wonder if you ever find yourself in a bad situation - like somewhere dodgy with a bad phone signal and no cash - can you depend on your DH to have your back?

TheHateIsNotGood · 02/04/2023 22:32

OK - I remember the foamy goo from my motorcycling days, when it worked pretty well - if you raised the wheel first and let it expand evenly. Can't see it working as well under the weight of an unraised SUV.

Apologies to OP for assuming every car had a spare as a standard (bloody necessary) option. I just remember when I needed to jump start a Citroen Picasso that came without a User Manual and needed Google to find where the battery was - not under the hood apparently, eventually found in the passenger footwell.

hellololabells2019 · 02/04/2023 22:32

@Sweeted I want to know who your recovery is with? And, I haven't had a car with a spare for 7 years!

Trixiefirecracker · 02/04/2023 22:33

I liked the italics.

Sweeted · 02/04/2023 22:33

Radiodread · 02/04/2023 22:30

You should write OP, if you don't already. You're good, and funny.

I don't, but you're not the first person to tell me I should. Maybe a blog about how blindingly infuriating things can be. My life gives me more than enough material!

OP posts:
AspiringMermaid · 02/04/2023 22:35

A massive cock

Eyerollcentral · 02/04/2023 22:36

Sweeted · 02/04/2023 22:20

Wow, you can tell our entire relationship from one irritating encounter? Amazing. Sadly, I think you're tuning into someone else though. We normally get on brilliantly, he just absolutely riled me up today

Doesn’t seem like it. I wouldn’t get on like you two do to someone I hate never mind to someone I am supposed to love. You are horrible to one another, if you think either of your behaviour is normal loving behaviour you are v far from reality.

Lunde · 02/04/2023 22:37

Clevs · 02/04/2023 22:09

Did you not have a spare wheel in your car?

Many modern cars no longer come with a spare wheel. It's a complete pain in the arse especially when the tyre suffers damage on a gravel track in the middle of nowhere in rural Sweden

Sweeted · 02/04/2023 22:37

Thelnebriati · 02/04/2023 22:31

My take from this is to wonder if you ever find yourself in a bad situation - like somewhere dodgy with a bad phone signal and no cash - can you depend on your DH to have your back?

I would have said yes before today, but he did not sweep in to save the day. He swept in to double check my eyes and reason weren't deceiving me and then he drove away, bristling to discover I was correct.

OP posts:
NemoandDoris · 02/04/2023 22:38

sees blokeswho think their wives have fucked up when stuff like this happens to them, but when it happens to the man, they’re blameless.

this is absolutely spot upon on. See it at home, and work and in a sport I do. Men just assume women fuck things up and cannot possibly manage a situation but they are always 💯 blameless when they fuck up, even when it is absolutely their fault. Just will not admit they are wrong.

Lunde · 02/04/2023 22:38

By the way your H is acting like a complete arsehole OP

PousseyNotMoira · 02/04/2023 22:39

Eyerollcentral · 02/04/2023 22:36

Doesn’t seem like it. I wouldn’t get on like you two do to someone I hate never mind to someone I am supposed to love. You are horrible to one another, if you think either of your behaviour is normal loving behaviour you are v far from reality.

Couples have rows. Even loving happy ones. I think you need to calm down. 😂

ConcordeOoter · 02/04/2023 22:39

Wait, why did you/your son call DH instead of the single immediate phone call to your own recovery service to give them your number and location? You would think because if he could help you right away he would come straight there.

That is what any partner might think if they were the sort of person to try and get you going again, whatever their gender, and you acting surprised/hostile at being offered help would be baffling.

PousseyNotMoira · 02/04/2023 22:40

OP, I was not expecting this thread to be so funny! I don’t think I’ve ever encountered carsplaining before. 😆

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