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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband being a cock!!

233 replies

Sweeted · 02/04/2023 21:44

Was driving my 14yo son back from his weekend away and we went over a hidden pothole in the road which ripped a massive hole in my front offside tyre. I pulled over into a carpark and immediately assessed the damage and tried to connect to my breakdown and recovery app. Signal was patchy so I stayed with the car and asked my son to go along the road a bit to see if he could get some signal and call DHto tell him the tyre was torn and to ask him to contact recovery for me and explain the issue. DS said DH was sighing and grumbling and getting snappy, then said “go back to the car.” DS said he was being really off and he didn’t know if DH was calling breakdown or not, so I went along the road myself, found some signal and booked the recovery. I pay for fully comp platinum service so I know they have to get me home and then the vehicle somewhere to be repaired. I texted my husband to let him know I booked it

Fifteen minutes later, my DH pulls into the car park, gets out of his car with an air compressor, doesn’t say hello or anything and dives for my front wheel and attaches it to my tyre. The air pisses out of the massive tear. I said “What are you doing? That won’t work, there’s a tear in it.” He said, "yeah, I know- come here and look.” Well, I don’t need to look, I’ve already seen it haven’t I? Anyway, I do look and say “yes, I know. There’s a huge water filled pothole on the road. It looks like a little puddle.” He gave me a contemptuous look and said “I don’t know why you even drove this way.” I replied, "I don't even know what to say to that." Apparently he would have gone an alternate route and taken the car safely home, but I, with my obvious inferiority, chose a suboptimal route which was, according to google maps “two minutes slower.” 😑
Telling him that he could have been rear ended on his hypothetical better journey, could have hit a car, an animal or come across any number of incidents didn’t seem to compute. He's simply too good of a driver.

The breakdown man arrived. My husband pipes up with, “he’ll have to tow you, he won’t have a spare.” I replied that I wasn’t sure what would happen but it was ok. Because of what I pay for, I wasn’t bothered how it was done, I just knew it would be. But straight away he said to the guy, "you haven’t got a spare have you? No. See, I told you!” All smug like his penis gives him super foresight as well as route planning perfection. Then the guy said, "I do have a spare wheel though which will fit.” Husband went a bit quiet, I said, "aha, that’s perfect!” DH STRODE towards his car saying, "yeah, you’re all smug now so I’m going home.”

I replied, "Oh, ok, I don’t really know why you came though.” Because I didn’t! He left two kids (15yo and 7yo) at home to check if my assessment of a torn tyre was accurate. He zoomed out of that carpark.

It was so embarrassing! The repair guy said it looked like my husband didn’t believe I knew what had happened and said that regularly he sees blokes who think their wives have fucked up when stuff like this happens to them, but when it happens to the man, they’re blameless.

We got home, the car got to the garage. Exactly the service I pay for. As expected. I asked my husband why the hell he behaved like that and he said “I drove all that way to help you and you acted like you didn’t need my help. It was like a slap in the face!”

WHAT? Because I used the professional service I pay for to solve a problem he had no way of solving? AND told him in advance that I had done so? I told him I didn’t think he had come to help, he came to crow/whinge about how inept I am and how I have caused such a problem. He went on to say about how much money it’s going to cost for a new tyre when we just bought some. I asked what all this “we” business was about. I paid for the tyres, I pay for the servicing, the insurance, the recovery and breakdown, the MOT, the excesses and I will also be paying for this as he well knows, so he’s got nothing to be so pressed about!!

He had a good long session of sulking upstairs. It’s our son’s birthday tomorrow and my husband is meant to be helping me clean ahead of company arriving tomorrow and put up banners. He was literally sulking because he doesn’t like me ”going on at him^'" I just went up to ask him to come and do something to assist and he's fast asleep under the blankets.

Aibu to be boiling fucking mad??^

OP posts:
Scabetty · 02/04/2023 22:41

It’s hard to remain adult when your husband insists on acting like a child. Tell him to grow up and stop sulking.

Eyerollcentral · 02/04/2023 22:41

PousseyNotMoira · 02/04/2023 22:39

Couples have rows. Even loving happy ones. I think you need to calm down. 😂

Course they do but there are rows and rows and this pair seem to do each others’ heads in. Such a long drawn out explanation of the whole thing and so much faffing about, remembering every tit bit of the conversation, ugh

OldFan · 02/04/2023 22:42

You could write, like, Sex and the City before it got shit and with less of the boring emphasis on sex OP.

P.S. Your husband was shockingly crap there.

Sweeted · 02/04/2023 22:43

Ah, @Eyerollcentral. Your name is so apt. Reading some of your responses on other threads is entertaining. You save all your "getting on at" for strangers on the internet! I bet you are absolutely brimful of repressed rage in real life. I can imagine you with a fake smile for everyone, hot tea sloshing about in your special cup as you tremble with 24/7 indignation.

OP posts:
May09Bump · 02/04/2023 22:44

GrazingSheep · 02/04/2023 21:51

Are you writing a book ?

Made me giggle :) War & Peace

barmycatmum · 02/04/2023 22:46

Deathbyfluffy · 02/04/2023 22:05

I’m a man, and what a load of garbage.
My wife is independent, gets stuff done and I love that - we’re not all idiots who see themselves as above women.

Perhaps step 1 is not tarring all men with the same brush 🙃

Did you just come on this thread and make it about you?
you did. Didn’t you. Yes. You did.

Antiquiteas · 02/04/2023 22:46

TheHateIsNotGood · 02/04/2023 22:32

OK - I remember the foamy goo from my motorcycling days, when it worked pretty well - if you raised the wheel first and let it expand evenly. Can't see it working as well under the weight of an unraised SUV.

Apologies to OP for assuming every car had a spare as a standard (bloody necessary) option. I just remember when I needed to jump start a Citroen Picasso that came without a User Manual and needed Google to find where the battery was - not under the hood apparently, eventually found in the passenger footwell.

Are you a bloke in his 60s?

TheHateIsNotGood · 02/04/2023 22:47

Oooh - never had so many reponses to one of my posts before, what nerve have I touched? Anyways, if all these DHs are so useless, etc maybe many here might prefer to go it alone instead? It might mean certain downgrades in lifestyle and cars driven of course (so old they might even have a spare wheel) but really a small price to pay for not putting up with a cock (birds excepted).

Sweeted · 02/04/2023 22:48

ConcordeOoter · 02/04/2023 22:39

Wait, why did you/your son call DH instead of the single immediate phone call to your own recovery service to give them your number and location? You would think because if he could help you right away he would come straight there.

That is what any partner might think if they were the sort of person to try and get you going again, whatever their gender, and you acting surprised/hostile at being offered help would be baffling.

Because my DH, being at home, had access to my policy number, my son did not and nor did I as the app wasn't connecting. He gave very precise bitesize bits to DH. Mum's car tyre has torn, she wants you to call her breakdown service. Please tell them what's happened and where she is so they come and help, because she's got no phone service by the car.

OP posts:
TheHateIsNotGood · 02/04/2023 22:49

Nope - a 60 year old woman - does it matter antique?

barmycatmum · 02/04/2023 22:51

Sweeted · 02/04/2023 22:43

Ah, @Eyerollcentral. Your name is so apt. Reading some of your responses on other threads is entertaining. You save all your "getting on at" for strangers on the internet! I bet you are absolutely brimful of repressed rage in real life. I can imagine you with a fake smile for everyone, hot tea sloshing about in your special cup as you tremble with 24/7 indignation.

Oh this made me laugh. Heehee

Eyerollcentral · 02/04/2023 22:52

‘ I bet you are absolutely brimful of repressed rage in real life. I can imagine you with a fake smile for everyone, hot tea sloshing about in your special cup as you tremble with 24/7 indignation’ Lol lol lol you couldn’t be further from the truth. I just couldn’t put up with a cock of a husband and spend my life bickering away, thankfully I haven’t! I don’t waste my time faking things either and I don’t drink tea!

Moraxella · 02/04/2023 22:53

completely off topic but try to get a refund from council for repair. They’re actually paying up around here because the roads are so bad

Mildred007 · 02/04/2023 22:55

TheHateIsNotGood · 02/04/2023 22:47

Oooh - never had so many reponses to one of my posts before, what nerve have I touched? Anyways, if all these DHs are so useless, etc maybe many here might prefer to go it alone instead? It might mean certain downgrades in lifestyle and cars driven of course (so old they might even have a spare wheel) but really a small price to pay for not putting up with a cock (birds excepted).

Wow!! 😳🙄

BTW how old are you classing an "old" car as our 14 Yr old 7 seater has no spare tyre either 🤔

Sweeted · 02/04/2023 22:58

Moraxella · 02/04/2023 22:53

completely off topic but try to get a refund from council for repair. They’re actually paying up around here because the roads are so bad

I'd love that to be the case here, but it's definitely not. Our council take their sweet time to do anything essential and they definitely wont pay for things they should pay for. They'll do mad shit like throw a million quid at some colour changing mood lights on a set of roundabouts, but will deny their crumbling roads cause any damage to any vehicle or person for fear of having to fork out.

OP posts:
TommyJoesMummy · 02/04/2023 23:01

I would have woken him up!
Have you actually left Cock to his purposely attained through a fight sleep?
He’s got cleaning to do under your knowing instruction, whilst you quote the repair man on how he’s just like all the other men twats!
You can point out how you are right on cars and women’s work. And now you are dragging him up from the level of a useless man child too

ConcordeOoter · 02/04/2023 23:03

Sweeted · 02/04/2023 22:48

Because my DH, being at home, had access to my policy number, my son did not and nor did I as the app wasn't connecting. He gave very precise bitesize bits to DH. Mum's car tyre has torn, she wants you to call her breakdown service. Please tell them what's happened and where she is so they come and help, because she's got no phone service by the car.

Thank you for clarifying, that makes quite a difference. I'm sorry you had to put up with this awful incident.

PousseyNotMoira · 02/04/2023 23:04

Eyerollcentral · 02/04/2023 22:52

‘ I bet you are absolutely brimful of repressed rage in real life. I can imagine you with a fake smile for everyone, hot tea sloshing about in your special cup as you tremble with 24/7 indignation’ Lol lol lol you couldn’t be further from the truth. I just couldn’t put up with a cock of a husband and spend my life bickering away, thankfully I haven’t! I don’t waste my time faking things either and I don’t drink tea!

OP is hilarious and this may be the saddest comeback in history. 🤣🤣🤣

Cloverforever · 02/04/2023 23:05

TheHateIsNotGood · 02/04/2023 22:47

Oooh - never had so many reponses to one of my posts before, what nerve have I touched? Anyways, if all these DHs are so useless, etc maybe many here might prefer to go it alone instead? It might mean certain downgrades in lifestyle and cars driven of course (so old they might even have a spare wheel) but really a small price to pay for not putting up with a cock (birds excepted).

Plenty of us, including myself, have done exactly that, and life is much sweeter. I even drive a better car with money in the bank.

When I had a puncture recently I also had no spare tyre, so I call Green Flag, they came out and sorted it for me. No penis was required at all. Just a phone.

TheHateIsNotGood · 02/04/2023 23:07

So it's not just that progress means cars don't have spare tyres anymore - it's the bloody apps that we're all supposed to use to conduct our daily lives too. I did have a frustrating experience with my Recovery People quite recently where it was hard to get through purely by calling the number on my membership card, as there was an expectation that I had a smartphone..

I eventually bypassed that and did it directly by phone and all resolved. I actually do have a smartphone but deliberately keep it stupid as I'm not convinced that it's the best way to carry all one's financial and personal information in such an insecure way.

It's always been a badge of honour to me that over many decades people have assumed I was a lesbian (old language) or a man. That's progress for you - well maybe not for women, more it's gone backwards.

PousseyNotMoira · 02/04/2023 23:10

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Boomboom22 · 02/04/2023 23:12

Mostly you can give your car reg and postcode if you don't have your policy number BTW. I'm crap at stuff like writing it down, big win if the number to call or app has been installed on my phone 🤣

UniversalMamma · 02/04/2023 23:14

Deathbyfluffy · 02/04/2023 22:05

I’m a man, and what a load of garbage.
My wife is independent, gets stuff done and I love that - we’re not all idiots who see themselves as above women.

Perhaps step 1 is not tarring all men with the same brush 🙃

Ya gotta laugh at these ones

TheHateIsNotGood · 02/04/2023 23:16

Now you're just sounding ageist 'poussey' - have you any driving a car or changing a wheel experience yourself? Or is that not relevant to the conversation.

whitebreadjamsandwich · 02/04/2023 23:16

Yeah he's a cock. But I'm impressed that it reads like you got a breakdown man to you in less than an hour?