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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband being a cock!!

233 replies

Sweeted · 02/04/2023 21:44

Was driving my 14yo son back from his weekend away and we went over a hidden pothole in the road which ripped a massive hole in my front offside tyre. I pulled over into a carpark and immediately assessed the damage and tried to connect to my breakdown and recovery app. Signal was patchy so I stayed with the car and asked my son to go along the road a bit to see if he could get some signal and call DHto tell him the tyre was torn and to ask him to contact recovery for me and explain the issue. DS said DH was sighing and grumbling and getting snappy, then said “go back to the car.” DS said he was being really off and he didn’t know if DH was calling breakdown or not, so I went along the road myself, found some signal and booked the recovery. I pay for fully comp platinum service so I know they have to get me home and then the vehicle somewhere to be repaired. I texted my husband to let him know I booked it

Fifteen minutes later, my DH pulls into the car park, gets out of his car with an air compressor, doesn’t say hello or anything and dives for my front wheel and attaches it to my tyre. The air pisses out of the massive tear. I said “What are you doing? That won’t work, there’s a tear in it.” He said, "yeah, I know- come here and look.” Well, I don’t need to look, I’ve already seen it haven’t I? Anyway, I do look and say “yes, I know. There’s a huge water filled pothole on the road. It looks like a little puddle.” He gave me a contemptuous look and said “I don’t know why you even drove this way.” I replied, "I don't even know what to say to that." Apparently he would have gone an alternate route and taken the car safely home, but I, with my obvious inferiority, chose a suboptimal route which was, according to google maps “two minutes slower.” 😑
Telling him that he could have been rear ended on his hypothetical better journey, could have hit a car, an animal or come across any number of incidents didn’t seem to compute. He's simply too good of a driver.

The breakdown man arrived. My husband pipes up with, “he’ll have to tow you, he won’t have a spare.” I replied that I wasn’t sure what would happen but it was ok. Because of what I pay for, I wasn’t bothered how it was done, I just knew it would be. But straight away he said to the guy, "you haven’t got a spare have you? No. See, I told you!” All smug like his penis gives him super foresight as well as route planning perfection. Then the guy said, "I do have a spare wheel though which will fit.” Husband went a bit quiet, I said, "aha, that’s perfect!” DH STRODE towards his car saying, "yeah, you’re all smug now so I’m going home.”

I replied, "Oh, ok, I don’t really know why you came though.” Because I didn’t! He left two kids (15yo and 7yo) at home to check if my assessment of a torn tyre was accurate. He zoomed out of that carpark.

It was so embarrassing! The repair guy said it looked like my husband didn’t believe I knew what had happened and said that regularly he sees blokes who think their wives have fucked up when stuff like this happens to them, but when it happens to the man, they’re blameless.

We got home, the car got to the garage. Exactly the service I pay for. As expected. I asked my husband why the hell he behaved like that and he said “I drove all that way to help you and you acted like you didn’t need my help. It was like a slap in the face!”

WHAT? Because I used the professional service I pay for to solve a problem he had no way of solving? AND told him in advance that I had done so? I told him I didn’t think he had come to help, he came to crow/whinge about how inept I am and how I have caused such a problem. He went on to say about how much money it’s going to cost for a new tyre when we just bought some. I asked what all this “we” business was about. I paid for the tyres, I pay for the servicing, the insurance, the recovery and breakdown, the MOT, the excesses and I will also be paying for this as he well knows, so he’s got nothing to be so pressed about!!

He had a good long session of sulking upstairs. It’s our son’s birthday tomorrow and my husband is meant to be helping me clean ahead of company arriving tomorrow and put up banners. He was literally sulking because he doesn’t like me ”going on at him^'" I just went up to ask him to come and do something to assist and he's fast asleep under the blankets.

Aibu to be boiling fucking mad??^

OP posts:
Sweeted · 03/04/2023 10:57

And I must address this-

why send your son of all people to bother ringing DH?

Of all people? Of all the people in the world, why did I send my son? Why choose him?
Quite aside from the inference that my son is a bumbling doof, unable to manage a simple phonecall, it just so happens that he was the only person in the world with me at this particular time. Hope that helps.

OP posts:
Couldyounot · 03/04/2023 11:06

TheHateIsNotGood · 02/04/2023 22:15

If you look at the User Manual OP (which should be in your glove box) then you'll find where your spare wheel is kept, having a 7-seater doesn't mean you don't have a spare, it's probably underneath the body you dafty.

Cars we've had in last 5 years:
2018 VW Sharan - no spare, nowhere for one to go
2019 VW Up - no spare with ours, although it is apparently an option
2020 Merc C-class - no spare, nowhere for one to go.

User manual in each glovebox therefore of limited use. And yes, it's utterly daft given the state of the roads these days. Goo and compressor can't fix a shredded tyre.

LoobyDop · 03/04/2023 11:09

You have my sympathy, OP. My husband is occasionally this graceless when he feels he is unfairly expected to get off his arse and do something to help me. It’s usually because he has arranged to shoot things on the computer with his little internet buddies, but he can’t admit that because he knows it would get short shrift. I find it helpful to quietly recap the cockishness when he has got a grip and resembles the guy I chose to marry again.

Nicebitofsquirrell · 03/04/2023 11:37

This thread is a perfect example of mumsnet and the type of people on it.

Op you have my heart and my sympathies. Your responses to these comments are GOLDEN

Wallywobbles · 03/04/2023 11:44

@Deathbyfluffy

I’m a man, and what a load of garbage.
My wife is independent, gets stuff done and I love that - we’re not all idiots who see themselves as above women.

Perhaps step 1 is not tarring all men with the same brush 🙃

The thing is that this is really common with men. My DH is a pretty good feminist and what echo what you said about your wife, but:
-if he didn't see it, it didn't happen
-if I give him a fact he's never heard before he immediately fact checks it on Google
-is always right.

weirdoboelady · 03/04/2023 11:45

This thread seems the natural gathering place for MNM - MN morons. I can't believe people are still banging on about non-existent spare wheels, not understanding that if there are two people in a car one stays with the car while the other (competent son) goes off to find a decent phone signal..... Honestly, what is so difficult, people?

glasshole · 03/04/2023 11:50

TheHateIsNotGood · 02/04/2023 22:15

If you look at the User Manual OP (which should be in your glove box) then you'll find where your spare wheel is kept, having a 7-seater doesn't mean you don't have a spare, it's probably underneath the body you dafty.

Not all modern cars have spare wheels you absurd little man . Mine comes with a pump and a can of foam to fill a puncture. But thank you SO MUCH for weighing in here you dafty.

TheHoodedPaw · 03/04/2023 15:14

Mootless has made my day.

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