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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband being a cock!!

233 replies

Sweeted · 02/04/2023 21:44

Was driving my 14yo son back from his weekend away and we went over a hidden pothole in the road which ripped a massive hole in my front offside tyre. I pulled over into a carpark and immediately assessed the damage and tried to connect to my breakdown and recovery app. Signal was patchy so I stayed with the car and asked my son to go along the road a bit to see if he could get some signal and call DHto tell him the tyre was torn and to ask him to contact recovery for me and explain the issue. DS said DH was sighing and grumbling and getting snappy, then said “go back to the car.” DS said he was being really off and he didn’t know if DH was calling breakdown or not, so I went along the road myself, found some signal and booked the recovery. I pay for fully comp platinum service so I know they have to get me home and then the vehicle somewhere to be repaired. I texted my husband to let him know I booked it

Fifteen minutes later, my DH pulls into the car park, gets out of his car with an air compressor, doesn’t say hello or anything and dives for my front wheel and attaches it to my tyre. The air pisses out of the massive tear. I said “What are you doing? That won’t work, there’s a tear in it.” He said, "yeah, I know- come here and look.” Well, I don’t need to look, I’ve already seen it haven’t I? Anyway, I do look and say “yes, I know. There’s a huge water filled pothole on the road. It looks like a little puddle.” He gave me a contemptuous look and said “I don’t know why you even drove this way.” I replied, "I don't even know what to say to that." Apparently he would have gone an alternate route and taken the car safely home, but I, with my obvious inferiority, chose a suboptimal route which was, according to google maps “two minutes slower.” 😑
Telling him that he could have been rear ended on his hypothetical better journey, could have hit a car, an animal or come across any number of incidents didn’t seem to compute. He's simply too good of a driver.

The breakdown man arrived. My husband pipes up with, “he’ll have to tow you, he won’t have a spare.” I replied that I wasn’t sure what would happen but it was ok. Because of what I pay for, I wasn’t bothered how it was done, I just knew it would be. But straight away he said to the guy, "you haven’t got a spare have you? No. See, I told you!” All smug like his penis gives him super foresight as well as route planning perfection. Then the guy said, "I do have a spare wheel though which will fit.” Husband went a bit quiet, I said, "aha, that’s perfect!” DH STRODE towards his car saying, "yeah, you’re all smug now so I’m going home.”

I replied, "Oh, ok, I don’t really know why you came though.” Because I didn’t! He left two kids (15yo and 7yo) at home to check if my assessment of a torn tyre was accurate. He zoomed out of that carpark.

It was so embarrassing! The repair guy said it looked like my husband didn’t believe I knew what had happened and said that regularly he sees blokes who think their wives have fucked up when stuff like this happens to them, but when it happens to the man, they’re blameless.

We got home, the car got to the garage. Exactly the service I pay for. As expected. I asked my husband why the hell he behaved like that and he said “I drove all that way to help you and you acted like you didn’t need my help. It was like a slap in the face!”

WHAT? Because I used the professional service I pay for to solve a problem he had no way of solving? AND told him in advance that I had done so? I told him I didn’t think he had come to help, he came to crow/whinge about how inept I am and how I have caused such a problem. He went on to say about how much money it’s going to cost for a new tyre when we just bought some. I asked what all this “we” business was about. I paid for the tyres, I pay for the servicing, the insurance, the recovery and breakdown, the MOT, the excesses and I will also be paying for this as he well knows, so he’s got nothing to be so pressed about!!

He had a good long session of sulking upstairs. It’s our son’s birthday tomorrow and my husband is meant to be helping me clean ahead of company arriving tomorrow and put up banners. He was literally sulking because he doesn’t like me ”going on at him^'" I just went up to ask him to come and do something to assist and he's fast asleep under the blankets.

Aibu to be boiling fucking mad??^

OP posts:
Natty13 · 02/04/2023 22:04

BitOutOfPractice · 02/04/2023 21:58

Did anyone else read this in a strange sing song voice in their head because of the italics?

Yep op, he's a cock

I read it exactly like I read stories to my kids with drama and intonation 😂 I must say I loved it, like a story for me!

Deathbyfluffy · 02/04/2023 22:05

Ktime · 02/04/2023 21:59

Looks like your husband is on the thread.

YANBU, men seem to resent that women can get stuff done without their input.

I’m a man, and what a load of garbage.
My wife is independent, gets stuff done and I love that - we’re not all idiots who see themselves as above women.

Perhaps step 1 is not tarring all men with the same brush 🙃

Stupidusernamehopefullynottakenyet · 02/04/2023 22:07

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SeulementUneFois · 02/04/2023 22:09

Pixiedust1234 · 02/04/2023 21:56

my husband is meant to be helping me clean ahead of company arriving

And thats your answer as to why he did what he did. Its your fault and you need to be punished because you have dared to insist he does womens work. Sorry OP, you have my deepest sympathies especially since he will continue this way until divorce or death Flowers

This OP. Sorry.
That's shit, and yes he definitely is a cock.

Clevs · 02/04/2023 22:09

Did you not have a spare wheel in your car?

Sweeted · 02/04/2023 22:09

BitOutOfPractice · 02/04/2023 21:58

Did anyone else read this in a strange sing song voice in their head because of the italics?

Yep op, he's a cock

Sorry about that! I only highlighted one sentence to put into bold and it didn't work so I just left it. I'm doing this on my phone and I've obviously unlocked some secret random italic mode. I don't know how! I bet my husband would though.

OP posts:
Sweeted · 02/04/2023 22:10

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You sound exceptionally cunty and unhelpful.

OP posts:
Sweeted · 02/04/2023 22:10

Clevs · 02/04/2023 22:09

Did you not have a spare wheel in your car?

No, it's a seven seater, no space for one.

OP posts:
TheHateIsNotGood · 02/04/2023 22:12

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zurala · 02/04/2023 22:12

Deathbyfluffy · 02/04/2023 22:05

I’m a man, and what a load of garbage.
My wife is independent, gets stuff done and I love that - we’re not all idiots who see themselves as above women.

Perhaps step 1 is not tarring all men with the same brush 🙃

Are you lost?

Boomboom22 · 02/04/2023 22:13

I've had similar today. Tried to fix something, pretty sure I know why it doesn't work and can't fix it. He kept saying I'll look at it later. Why? I don't need you to look at it, you won't be magicly able to do aonething I can't and pretty sure I know more about this type of thing anyway. Argh.

Soubriquet · 02/04/2023 22:13

Yeah he sounds like a cock and now he has the perfect excuse not to help clean the house.

He was looking for a fight and he found one

stonebrambleboy · 02/04/2023 22:14

Sweeted · 02/04/2023 22:03

Sorry, I didn't realise I was switching fonts! I was doing this on my phone, I don't know what I've done to make that happen, sorry.

You need to ask your husband how to fix it 😂

Stupidusernamehopefullynottakenyet · 02/04/2023 22:14

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TheHateIsNotGood · 02/04/2023 22:15

If you look at the User Manual OP (which should be in your glove box) then you'll find where your spare wheel is kept, having a 7-seater doesn't mean you don't have a spare, it's probably underneath the body you dafty.

Sweeted · 02/04/2023 22:16

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No. Driving A Car 102 teaches you that not all cars have spare wheels because some of them have seven seats and no space for a spare. It also covers the terms and conditions of roadside assistance, especially that if you're on a policy where you don't pay an excess they definitely won't come out to you if they don't need to.

OP posts:
Justlovedogs · 02/04/2023 22:16

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Helpful - not! Not all cars have a spare these days, just a can of goo to plug a puncture hole, which wouldn't have worked for OPs tear, or they have very expensive run flat tyres.

Eyerollcentral · 02/04/2023 22:17

Sounds like you are both extremely argumentative and pick at one another constantly. I don’t know how you live like this, you don’t like one another.

userxx · 02/04/2023 22:18

He's sounds like an utter bellend, not dissimilar from a few on this thread.

Sweeted · 02/04/2023 22:18

TheHateIsNotGood · 02/04/2023 22:15

If you look at the User Manual OP (which should be in your glove box) then you'll find where your spare wheel is kept, having a 7-seater doesn't mean you don't have a spare, it's probably underneath the body you dafty.

It doesn't have a spare. If it did, I wouldn't have needed to call anyone, would I? 🤦🏼‍♀️
It's my car, I know what it's got.

OP posts:
Antiquiteas · 02/04/2023 22:19

Much like your husband, this place is wall-to-wall cocks tonight.

Wilkolampshade · 02/04/2023 22:19

We don't have a spare either. Just the can of goo. Definitely a thing these days. Annoying in these circumstances but true.

Antiquiteas · 02/04/2023 22:19

TheHateIsNotGood · 02/04/2023 22:15

If you look at the User Manual OP (which should be in your glove box) then you'll find where your spare wheel is kept, having a 7-seater doesn't mean you don't have a spare, it's probably underneath the body you dafty.

What even is the point of you? 😆

Sweeted · 02/04/2023 22:20

Eyerollcentral · 02/04/2023 22:17

Sounds like you are both extremely argumentative and pick at one another constantly. I don’t know how you live like this, you don’t like one another.

Wow, you can tell our entire relationship from one irritating encounter? Amazing. Sadly, I think you're tuning into someone else though. We normally get on brilliantly, he just absolutely riled me up today

OP posts:
Twoscotcheggsandajarofmarmite · 02/04/2023 22:20

@TheHateIsNotGood I don’t remember the last car I bought that came with a spare wheel. Are you driving some old banger that still has a CD player?

All they come with these days is an air compressor, so I’m not sure where you get off call the OP an idiot for not having one! You sound as dickish as her husband.