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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband being a cock!!

233 replies

Sweeted · 02/04/2023 21:44

Was driving my 14yo son back from his weekend away and we went over a hidden pothole in the road which ripped a massive hole in my front offside tyre. I pulled over into a carpark and immediately assessed the damage and tried to connect to my breakdown and recovery app. Signal was patchy so I stayed with the car and asked my son to go along the road a bit to see if he could get some signal and call DHto tell him the tyre was torn and to ask him to contact recovery for me and explain the issue. DS said DH was sighing and grumbling and getting snappy, then said “go back to the car.” DS said he was being really off and he didn’t know if DH was calling breakdown or not, so I went along the road myself, found some signal and booked the recovery. I pay for fully comp platinum service so I know they have to get me home and then the vehicle somewhere to be repaired. I texted my husband to let him know I booked it

Fifteen minutes later, my DH pulls into the car park, gets out of his car with an air compressor, doesn’t say hello or anything and dives for my front wheel and attaches it to my tyre. The air pisses out of the massive tear. I said “What are you doing? That won’t work, there’s a tear in it.” He said, "yeah, I know- come here and look.” Well, I don’t need to look, I’ve already seen it haven’t I? Anyway, I do look and say “yes, I know. There’s a huge water filled pothole on the road. It looks like a little puddle.” He gave me a contemptuous look and said “I don’t know why you even drove this way.” I replied, "I don't even know what to say to that." Apparently he would have gone an alternate route and taken the car safely home, but I, with my obvious inferiority, chose a suboptimal route which was, according to google maps “two minutes slower.” 😑
Telling him that he could have been rear ended on his hypothetical better journey, could have hit a car, an animal or come across any number of incidents didn’t seem to compute. He's simply too good of a driver.

The breakdown man arrived. My husband pipes up with, “he’ll have to tow you, he won’t have a spare.” I replied that I wasn’t sure what would happen but it was ok. Because of what I pay for, I wasn’t bothered how it was done, I just knew it would be. But straight away he said to the guy, "you haven’t got a spare have you? No. See, I told you!” All smug like his penis gives him super foresight as well as route planning perfection. Then the guy said, "I do have a spare wheel though which will fit.” Husband went a bit quiet, I said, "aha, that’s perfect!” DH STRODE towards his car saying, "yeah, you’re all smug now so I’m going home.”

I replied, "Oh, ok, I don’t really know why you came though.” Because I didn’t! He left two kids (15yo and 7yo) at home to check if my assessment of a torn tyre was accurate. He zoomed out of that carpark.

It was so embarrassing! The repair guy said it looked like my husband didn’t believe I knew what had happened and said that regularly he sees blokes who think their wives have fucked up when stuff like this happens to them, but when it happens to the man, they’re blameless.

We got home, the car got to the garage. Exactly the service I pay for. As expected. I asked my husband why the hell he behaved like that and he said “I drove all that way to help you and you acted like you didn’t need my help. It was like a slap in the face!”

WHAT? Because I used the professional service I pay for to solve a problem he had no way of solving? AND told him in advance that I had done so? I told him I didn’t think he had come to help, he came to crow/whinge about how inept I am and how I have caused such a problem. He went on to say about how much money it’s going to cost for a new tyre when we just bought some. I asked what all this “we” business was about. I paid for the tyres, I pay for the servicing, the insurance, the recovery and breakdown, the MOT, the excesses and I will also be paying for this as he well knows, so he’s got nothing to be so pressed about!!

He had a good long session of sulking upstairs. It’s our son’s birthday tomorrow and my husband is meant to be helping me clean ahead of company arriving tomorrow and put up banners. He was literally sulking because he doesn’t like me ”going on at him^'" I just went up to ask him to come and do something to assist and he's fast asleep under the blankets.

Aibu to be boiling fucking mad??^

OP posts:
weirdoboelady · 03/04/2023 07:52

UniversalMamma · 03/04/2023 07:33

Foreskinsight 😂

😂😂😂

Inuno · 03/04/2023 07:52

Definitely not unreasonable to be boiling fucking mad in those circumstances Op !
Please write a book, love your style and your responses to twatty comments on this thread are brilliant.
Hope your sons birthday goes well .

Zhougzhoug · 03/04/2023 07:53

Er most cars have four wheels so why not simply swap the tyres with one of the other wheels, you dafty?

eggcupp · 03/04/2023 07:54

I think he thought he was coming to rescue you and was maybe trying to avoid having to call the service and pay for a new tyre. ( I know you way YOU pay, but you're married, so usually even if one person pays, it's still a household expense kind of thing )..

He probably thought he was coming to help, then realised he couldn't help and didn't handle it well.

By saying you should have gone a different way, he was blaming you for what happened and that would have annoyed me as well. My husband would do that too. Or he would have at least said, ' couldn't you have driven around it ? How did you not see such a big pot hole ? '..

Now his pride is hurt and he's sulking. Typical man. But I wouldn't say LTB. No one is perfect. We all act like dicks sometimes.

BadNomad · 03/04/2023 07:54

Exactly. You should have taken off one of the other wheels and used it. Then replaced that one with the spare wheel that's under the car.

Puffinpanic · 03/04/2023 07:56

That breakdown recovery man was class.

WonderingWanda · 03/04/2023 08:02

Ah, this has been a funny read. Op I do hope your dh has woken in a less twatty mood today and has learnt from his ridiculous behaviour. It is irritating when people (usually men) insist they must know better than you. My dh is lovely, he knows nothing about cars but if I mention my car is making a funny noise he instantly dismisses it as if I am being a drama queen.....I always get it checked at the garage and there is always something wrong. Must be something built into them.

Barbecuebeans · 03/04/2023 08:07

I love this story OP. Must have been really irritating at the time but you've turned lemons into lemonade.

Amazing how many men/handmaidens it's attracted though scrabbling to tell you why you in fact are in the wrong, despite your patient explanations to the contrary. If only they could both read and understand what it is they're reading...

Samsungwasher · 03/04/2023 08:13

"Twenty minutes ago he was eating a chocolate spread sandwich viciously. Picture it. Tearing at it with his flat little human teeth and scowling all the while. I don't think he's anywhere near over it yet."

Op, you brightened my day with that comment, really made me chuckle, you have a way with words. :-)

CornedBeef451 · 03/04/2023 08:36

I didn't even notice the italics and thought it was well written OP. No idea why people have been such arseholes to you!

Your DH does sound like he is being a cock.

My Dad used to be like this but has mellowed with age, the only thing relatively recently was a run in with a Picasso's battery like another poster above.

DDad just kept telling me to lift the catches to flip the passenger seat forward to access the battery and was frustrated I couldn't find them, despite them not existing on my car.

He finally drove over to check for himself and after a frustrating 20 minutes finally admitted defeat just as the AA turned up.

The mechanic pointed out that my car, as I had previously stated multiple times, didn't have the catches.

DaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisy · 03/04/2023 09:02

I had a rubbish night last night and woke up feeling really irritable. This post has made me piss myself laughing so thank you!! You sure have a way with words. Can you please post once a week with different stories to lift my mood?

Boomboom22 · 03/04/2023 09:15

**@RedHelenB
He was right to disbelieve op and then realise she was right so go home again?

jemimapuddlepluck · 03/04/2023 09:17

Sweeted · 03/04/2023 07:25

No, they don't, do they? I invite you to have a look at my first few comments on this thread. It should clear this confusion up for you.

Posters like this just read the first couple of posts and jump on to join in. No minds of their own. Idiots basically.
I would go about my business all airy and calm, wind him right up. He acted like a prick and was shown up 😊
Obviously you are going to get people on here who make it ALL YOUR FAULT in anyway they can cos he's a man innit? Men are never at fault on mumsnet silly OP.

Mumwomansisterdaughter · 03/04/2023 09:18

You DH is an idiot indeed !

ReneBumsWombats · 03/04/2023 09:19

So many people say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. It isn't. Done properly, with flair and skill, it can be absolutely sublime. And as proof, I give you....OP.

Chipperfish · 03/04/2023 09:22

I have only read your responses on this thread OP and am somewhat in love with you. 😁

xogossipgirlxo · 03/04/2023 09:26

Oh god, he sounds like hard work. No compassion etc. I bet if it happened to him, he would be much more understanding to himself. Is he always unpleasant like this?

Dibbydoos · 03/04/2023 09:34

Hope he's good in other ways cos this would drive me nuts!

Also hope you got a pic. Local authority insurance will cover any costs etc.

JeanRondeausMadHair · 03/04/2023 10:12

'Foreskin of foresight' and 'flat little human teeth', comedy gold.

GasPanic · 03/04/2023 10:18

Sweeted · 03/04/2023 07:24

It's whimsical as fuck, isn't it?

Look in your user manual (which should be in your glove box, along with your supple leather driving gloves, your spare compact mirror and a fetching headscarf for those windy days) and it will tell you where the spare is located. Your daft little head is probably full of lace and perfectly risen dough so you've not noticed a huge spare wheel in your automobile. But I am a modern woman and know that all cars have a spare and they're located SOMEWHERE about the body of the vehicle. If you had enough driving experience, you would know this.

Not modern enough to write down your policy number and keep it in the car though :)

If you are on platinum service then I am sure you should be able to just ring them up and give them your reg number and it should be fine. I did this to the aa last time I broke down.

Yes your husband is being an arse for some reason. Maybe he was worried about you, maybe he wanted to act the man. Not really much excuse. Probably best to talk to him about it, which will at least hopefully prevent future instances occurring. I owuldn't be letting him off the hook, because all you are doing is setting yourself up for the same in the future.

Some people are just shit in emergencies and work themselves into a fluster and panic. Just best to avoid contacting them altogether IME - but one of the bonuses in life of being in a partnership is when TSHTF you (should) have someone there to help out and watch your back, not kick off and make things worse.

Abouttoblow · 03/04/2023 10:19

TheHateIsNotGood · 02/04/2023 22:15

If you look at the User Manual OP (which should be in your glove box) then you'll find where your spare wheel is kept, having a 7-seater doesn't mean you don't have a spare, it's probably underneath the body you dafty.

Look at you making an absolute tit of yourself you dafty.

Two cars in this family and neither have a spare. Many cars don't these days.

Ethan1312 · 03/04/2023 10:34

Getting between a married couple is hazardous at best but here goes. First off you knew you had the break down coverage so why send your son of all people to bother ringing DH? You knew he would not be able to help so that was a mootless thing to do. When he showed up he went through the motions of being macho which is also mootless as you both know he is not. Words get exchanged, he storms off, you still get what you want done and he goes off to pout? Let him. Its another thing to hang over his head at a later time. I suggest counselling.

yodayoga1 · 03/04/2023 10:49

Mootless??????

Sweeted · 03/04/2023 10:52

If you are on platinum service then I am sure you should be able to just ring them up and give them your reg number and it should be fine. I did this to the aa last time I broke down.

See, I knew there were people out there who struggled with reading comprehension, but I genuinely didn't expect to find so many of them in one thread.

You knew you had breakdown coverage, so why send your son off to ring DH?

Knowledge often needs equipment to become valuable action. For example, I know I can sew a seam, but that's not going to help my dignity if the arse of my skirt splits and all I've got is thread and no needle.

Incidentally, have you ever heard of different mobile networks having different coverage?

OP posts:
Sweeted · 03/04/2023 10:54

Mootless. 😂

Without moot. Moot free! So entirely logical and understandable, fully relevant and not up for debate.

Excellent.

OP posts: