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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be a little miserable

449 replies

NotEspeciallyHappyValley · 02/04/2023 08:27

We are supposed to be flying out this afternoon on a big family holiday. First big holiday since our plans were cancelled in April 2020 - and with us both working in the NHS we could do with the break

Unfortunately DP has started with a migraine this morning. Happens once every few months. Severe headache, paracetamol and ibuprofen not touching it. Doesn’t look like we can fly today - and no flights tomorrow

Obviously we are all a bit pissed off about this - but DP has just told me off for being miserable and said I need to snap out of this. Given this is a much wanted holiday - and we’ll probably not be covered by insurance for this - am I allowed to wallow in a little misery?

OP posts:
enidblythe · 02/04/2023 08:28

Can you not go ahead of him and he follows with the next available flights ?

Coffeeandchocs · 02/04/2023 08:29

If he gets a migraine so severe he will miss a holiday for it, and this is happening every few months he should be on prescribed medication for them.
And yes, you are allowed to feel miserable that you’re missing your holiday. Could you not go without him?

Nimbostratus100 · 02/04/2023 08:29

go ahead without him, he can follow later

Pippa12 · 02/04/2023 08:30

Why can’t he fly ☹️ If you’re confident it’s a migraine I’d go and him catch up with me in a few days!? No point in you all missing out! I’m surprised that’s not what he’s saying to you!!! X

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 02/04/2023 08:30

You go, he follows.

Bunnyhascovidnoteggs · 02/04/2023 08:31

He misses out. Why should you? Leave as planned and he can catch up. After all peace and quiet will do him good..
As a migraine sufferer myself he is being a selfish twat.

KatherineJaneway · 02/04/2023 08:31

Fly without him, he can catch you up later.

happyumwelt · 02/04/2023 08:32

Just go without him. I would.

LightDrizzle · 02/04/2023 08:32

Another person not understanding why you aren’t all going and him following. It makes no sense. We had to do this when my youngest was in hospital; DH and DD1 went on ahead.

gamerchick · 02/04/2023 08:33

He either needs to tough it out or be gets left behind and follows on later. Come on OP, you're capable

Original poster
NotEspeciallyHappyValley · 02/04/2023 08:33

No flights available for at least the next few days. It’s long haul so not much option.

OP posts:
gamerchick · 02/04/2023 08:34

I have a feeling once he realises he's being left behind he'll suddenly feel much better tbh.

Testina · 02/04/2023 08:34

Just go 🤷🏻‍♀️

Coffeeandchocs · 02/04/2023 08:34

NotEspeciallyHappyValley · 02/04/2023 08:33

No flights available for at least the next few days. It’s long haul so not much option.

Except the option of you going without him? Why do you all miss out because he’s not well?

Amandasummers · 02/04/2023 08:34

i don’t mean to lack sympathy but missing a holiday for a migraine is batshit. Making your family miss one because of it is even worse. Tell him he needs to bloody “snap out of it” ffs.

Testina · 02/04/2023 08:35

Why can’t he fly?
Will it make it worse? (like he needs to be in a dark room to avoid 2x the pain?)
migraines are awful but if he’s going to be in just as much pain home or away, he could go.

determinedtomakethiswork · 02/04/2023 08:35

gamerchick · 02/04/2023 08:34

I have a feeling once he realises he's being left behind he'll suddenly feel much better tbh.

I agree with this.

Don't even think of not knowing yourself. Whether he goes is his decision, but you need your holiday as well.

Whataretheodds · 02/04/2023 08:35

Just go! Especially if you're not covered for this by insurance it's insane for the rest of you not to go.

And i agree with PP, he needs his medication sorted, of course paracetamol and ibuprofen won't cut it.

Matchingcollarandcuffs · 02/04/2023 08:36

I get debilitating migraines and have and would never stop my family from doing anything, although if he is well enough to tell you not to be miserable it can’t be that bad!?

If you can get to a chemist you can buy sumatriptan over the counter, get him those, some aspirin and a full fat coke and an hour in a darkened room

good luck!

SoulCaptain · 02/04/2023 08:37

Get him some co-codamol. If his migraine doesn't lift go without him

CountZacular · 02/04/2023 08:38

Honestly, it might be daunting but just go. It’s a waste of money, time and you’ll just end up feeling resentment if you stay right now.

Testina · 02/04/2023 08:38

Why does someone whose 4x a year migraines are so bad he’d fuck up an entire family holiday, only have paracetamol and ibuprofen in? Dick move. Back story?

februarysunset · 02/04/2023 08:39

I was about to say sumatriptan. It is the only thing that can actually fix a migraine and you can now get it over the counter.

L3ThirtySeven · 02/04/2023 08:39

Insurance should cover him rebooking his ticket as a migraine is a medical occurrence and a documented disability in law.

You and kids go on ahead today as planned. He catches up.

Medication may or may not help. Not everyone can take the medications available today due to co-morbities like asthma.

Quartz2208 · 02/04/2023 08:39

If he can snap it’s not completely debilitating

yes the rest go and he follows and he seeks medical advice

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