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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be a little miserable

449 replies

NotEspeciallyHappyValley · 02/04/2023 08:27

We are supposed to be flying out this afternoon on a big family holiday. First big holiday since our plans were cancelled in April 2020 - and with us both working in the NHS we could do with the break

Unfortunately DP has started with a migraine this morning. Happens once every few months. Severe headache, paracetamol and ibuprofen not touching it. Doesn’t look like we can fly today - and no flights tomorrow

Obviously we are all a bit pissed off about this - but DP has just told me off for being miserable and said I need to snap out of this. Given this is a much wanted holiday - and we’ll probably not be covered by insurance for this - am I allowed to wallow in a little misery?

OP posts:
L3ThirtySeven · 02/04/2023 09:00

Chattycathydoll · 02/04/2023 08:58

I wish it fixed everyone’s migraines ;-;
I can’t take them, it causes excruciating facial and neck pain & feeling heavy so you can’t sit up or lift your head. One of the side effects that mean you have to stop with them. All I’ve found that works is a good anti emetic so if I have to function I’ll be in pain but not vomiting

Show quote history

Anti-emetics don’t work on me :(

Brefugee · 02/04/2023 09:00

sorry this is happening - this is a sharp lesson about holiday insurance I'm afraid.
I hope your partner recovers soon

Antiquiteas · 02/04/2023 09:02

He needs a triptan. You can get them over the counter. And then you can travel as normal.

Changingplace · 02/04/2023 09:03

NotEspeciallyHappyValley · 02/04/2023 08:55

I was trying to be deliberately vague by not specifying partner incase anyone I know is on here. I’m male and my partner is female

By big holiday I meant expensive and fancy. It’s been a rough few years and things are looking up (in many ways) so this was a bit of a celebration. So doesn’t really feel right going alone

Sorry if this is a drip feed - was just trying to stay anonymous

Irrelevant what sex either of you are, you can’t miss an expensive fancy holiday because of a migraine- why don’t they have better medication in if this is fairly regular? Go and get stronger stuff from the chemist now - what time do you need to get to the airport?

Brefugee · 02/04/2023 09:04

also: people who are writing as though a migraine is a headache need to find out more about them.

OP - go on your own, try to get partner on the next available flight - it's easier to rebook one than a family

RoxTen · 02/04/2023 09:04

Anything that's severe enough to stop you travelling should be covered by travel insurance

CovertImage · 02/04/2023 09:06

Notthecarwashagain · 02/04/2023 08:51

I don’t know if you’re intentionally not saying whether your DP is male or female, or if they are gender neutral, but the advice would be the same either way- go without them.
There is no point losing all that money.

I was thinking this!

"They" posts always feel like the OP is testing the equality of the responses so they can spring something on us

Hadjab · 02/04/2023 09:07

you can buy sumitriptan over the counter. Failing that, co-codomol.

Chattycathydoll · 02/04/2023 09:08

L3ThirtySeven · 02/04/2023 09:00

Anti-emetics don’t work on me :(

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I’m so sorry! It’s honestly horrendous. And everyone thinks it’s just a headache… they don’t know the half of it!

Grumpybutfunny · 02/04/2023 09:11

NotEspeciallyHappyValley · 02/04/2023 08:40

DP is currently lying in a darkened room and feeling very sick every time they sit up. Can’t see how they can manage a long haul flight today. Everything is booked up for Easter
Already on beta-blockers which have reduced the frequency markedly and think we have missed the window for triptans

Get him in a wheelchair and big sunglasses. Dump I'm next to the window with his sick bucket and tell him to treat it like childbirth 🤷‍♀️ also try ringing 111 for an urgent OOH appointment for antisickness

Also a HCP after the last few years nothing would stop us going on holiday! If he desperate to stay home go ahead and then tell him to find another flight to catch you up even if it means multiple connecting flights

LightDrizzle · 02/04/2023 09:14

In her shoes I’d be urging you to go. I was in her shoes and that’s what I did.

Allfizzandfun · 02/04/2023 09:14

Surely your DP wants you to go ahead today as planned, with a view to flying out later? I don’t see what the drama is about?

ProbablyNotAGoodIdea · 02/04/2023 09:14

Also, for future flights - my migraines are triggered by stress. If she's been anxious about travelling/packing/finishing up at work to get away then that might have brought it on. She might need to think about this to help prepare for going away again and how to mitigate against it. And definitely have the medication in the house to take at the first sign, not relying on paracetamol and ibuprofen which anyone knows won't help with migraine.

PinkDaffodil2 · 02/04/2023 09:16

Have you spoken with your travel insurance? It might be that they would cover her flying out later to join you but not the rest of the family - best to clarify asap.
Is she taking anti-sickness / codeine?

Poppyblush · 02/04/2023 09:17

You should definitely go and have her follow. She could be fine tomorrow. All that money wasted. She’s quite selfish,

midsomermurderess · 02/04/2023 09:17

gamerchick · 02/04/2023 08:34

I have a feeling once he realises he's being left behind he'll suddenly feel much better tbh.

Because he is a man, it’s not real, he’s just doing the migraine equivalent of man flu? Bloody hell, the misandry that drips of you is ghastly.

timetorefresh · 02/04/2023 09:18

gamerchick · 02/04/2023 08:34

I have a feeling once he realises he's being left behind he'll suddenly feel much better tbh.

I get migraines and I wouldn't be able to. I can't move. The pain is incredible, but I'm also incapable of talking really so wouldn't be able to tell someone they were miserable.

L3ThirtySeven · 02/04/2023 09:18

Chattycathydoll · 02/04/2023 09:08

I’m so sorry! It’s honestly horrendous. And everyone thinks it’s just a headache… they don’t know the half of it!

Show quote history

They really have no idea at all. And migraines are not all alike- some types actually come with zero pain and only visual disturbances, but others like mine it is absolute agony even with the daily medication I take. The medication reduces frequency and length of migraines by a lot, but it’s not a cure.

Happydays321 · 02/04/2023 09:18

You should be covered by travel insurance.
Your wife needs to see a private gp today to get a letter to say she is unfit to travel, the insurance should cover the whole family. It's not a problem we've done it via a video call at the weekend and reclaimed the cost for the whole family.

Zebedee55 · 02/04/2023 09:20

Migraleve is very effective, and freely available in chemists. Can't he take them, and sleep on a long haul?

L3ThirtySeven · 02/04/2023 09:20

LightDrizzle · 02/04/2023 09:14

In her shoes I’d be urging you to go. I was in her shoes and that’s what I did.

Me too. Family flew out to Greece ahead of me and I followed two days later. Still had a fantastic holiday! But we always get travel insurance and always disclose all our medical conditions so it was easy for DH to rearrange things, write me a note and go with the DC.

wonkymonkey · 02/04/2023 09:23

I would get migraine medication from the pharmacy. Migraleve is good but does work better if taken at the very first onset of symptoms. But anything is worth a try! It has anti-sickness as part of it.

TolkiensFallow · 02/04/2023 09:23

You need to go. She can follow.

ThomasinaLivesHere · 02/04/2023 09:24

You’re responding but not to those asking why you all have to stay at home. Why can’t you go ahead? I wouldn’t want others missing out because of my illness.

Also like others say check travel insurance. It may be covered but you’ll need doctors note.

Doidontimmm · 02/04/2023 09:25

You say family, so you are going to let kids miss out on an amazing holiday for a migraine that will be gone hopefully by tomorrow? That’s ridiculous & I say that as a migraine sufferer.