Page 22 | Who invites one half of a couple to a wedding??

username98765 · 2023-03-31T08:51:52+00:00

Please tell me if I am being unreasonable. My dp of 9 years has received a wedding invite today just addressed to him! The bride and groom I have known for years. The groom used to go out with my cousin but it ended with him cheating on her. That's the only reason I can think of not to be invited. I would never imagine inviting one part of a couple to a wedding! Haven't had chance to speak with my dp as he has already left for work when I'd seen it.

FriendRemarks · 03/04/2023 10:42

It's a bit of a leap to suggest people are bumping spouses off a guest list in favour of elaborate horses, ridiculously expensive cakes etc.

It's not just cost either - it's space at a venue. Inviting everyone with a plus one could mean certain people actually closer to the B&G don't make the cut.

I agree it can seem odd to not invite one half of a couple you both know. But quite often, people's eg "uni mates" could all be invited without partners, if the couple don't know the partners, or know them
v well. As long as all members of a social group are treated fairly.

There isnt one answer to this.

Grrrrdarling · 03/04/2023 16:41

username98765 · 02/04/2023 14:29

Quick update! Apparently I wasn't invited as I didn't speak to her a few weeks ago when I saw her at the pub! I don't even remember seeing her!

That says it all for me. They are very childish & to be honest I doubt the marriage will last.
For me, in this case, neither of us would be going because you are being invited purely to boost the gifts if they can leave one of you off for something so petty!

angelfacecuti75 · 03/04/2023 19:19

Are they short of money ?

Shemovesshemoves21 · 04/04/2023 07:57

username98765 · 02/04/2023 14:29

Quick update! Apparently I wasn't invited as I didn't speak to her a few weeks ago when I saw her at the pub! I don't even remember seeing her!

😂😂😂 oh, the pettiness. Has your partner decided on whether or not he'll attend?

IrishGothic · 04/04/2023 10:03

Grrrrdarling · 03/04/2023 16:41

That says it all for me. They are very childish & to be honest I doubt the marriage will last.
For me, in this case, neither of us would be going because you are being invited purely to boost the gifts if they can leave one of you off for something so petty!

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That's ridiculous. Not inviting the OP to a wedding is no indicator of the likely length of the marriage!

Liorae · 04/04/2023 10:17

Lastqueenofscotland2 · 31/03/2023 09:56

Yes YABU.
It’s their wedding. They get to choose who goes.

The couple gets to choose who to invite. They don't get to choose who goes.

WhatWouldJeevesDo · 04/04/2023 10:22

IrishGothic · 04/04/2023 10:03

That's ridiculous. Not inviting the OP to a wedding is no indicator of the likely length of the marriage!

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Even for such a petty reason? You may be right. There are all sorts of folies à deux going on in this world. It’s certainly evidence of bad manners and bad character though, which aren’t usually a great foundation for marriage.

Original poster

username98765 · 04/04/2023 14:06

@Shemovesshemoves21 we haven't really spoken about it. I think he feels a bit torn. If he wants to go I can't stop him, it's not his fault and not a position I'd want to be in.

OP posts:

Original poster

username98765 · 04/04/2023 15:11

@GeekyThings it came from the best man's wife. Im not going to lie I will be a bit upset if dp goes but I understand he is in a tricky situation and it's not fault. I personally wouldn't go without him but everyone is different.

OP posts:

VWHoliday · 04/04/2023 15:31

username98765 · 04/04/2023 14:06

@Shemovesshemoves21 we haven't really spoken about it. I think he feels a bit torn. If he wants to go I can't stop him, it's not his fault and not a position I'd want to be in.

The reason you are not invited is very childish.

Are all the other Friends taking their partners?

My DH would tell them to shove their invite up their arse if they were being funny about something so childish.

Bintymcbintface · 04/04/2023 15:51

There's nothing wrong with not inviting someone you don't like to your wedding. Being married to/in a relationship with an invited person doesn't automatically mean you're entitled to go.

The reasoning is petty but really they don't need to give any reason at all and asking or having someone ask on your behalf why you weren't invited is quite frankly embarrassing. They don't like you, it's no big crime

VWHoliday · 04/04/2023 16:11

At least OP knows now though. I'd rather know why. I wouldn't be embarrassed.

I actually invited someone I'm not that the keen on to our wedding because I liked his wife and my DH knew him better than me. I didn't give him a second thought all day.

browneyes77 · 04/04/2023 18:52

There seems to be a lot of people missing the fact that the OP had already said she’s know this couple longer than her DP has.

And that the OP has been excluded because she didn’t say hello to the bride some weeks back (OP didn’t actually see her). The fact OP has been excluded for such a petty reason and her DP is still invited, is a bit of a shitty move and is clearly done on purpose to cause upset in retaliation.

Yes people can invite who they want to their wedding bla bla bla. But purposely excluding the one half of the couple you’ve actually known the longest for such childish, petty reasons, still makes you a bit of an arsehole.

Mirabai · 04/04/2023 18:54

No way would I let someone treat my partner like that. I would not go in that circumstance, I wouldn’t be “torn” about it either.

Mirabai · 04/04/2023 18:55

There seems to be a lot of people missing the fact that the OP had already said she’s know this couple longer than her DP has

IKR I wish people would read the thread.

Moxysright · 04/04/2023 22:00

Mirabai · 04/04/2023 18:54

No way would I let someone treat my partner like that. I would not go in that circumstance, I wouldn’t be “torn” about it either.

This. A lot of people are scared to put their head above the parapet on issues like this. I wouldn’t go either.

Madamum18 · 05/04/2023 16:18

Moxysright · 04/04/2023 22:00

This. A lot of people are scared to put their head above the parapet on issues like this. I wouldn’t go either.

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Neither would I!

Jonei · 05/04/2023 17:04

Mirabai · 04/04/2023 18:54

No way would I let someone treat my partner like that. I would not go in that circumstance, I wouldn’t be “torn” about it either.

Same.

allmyliesaretrue · 05/04/2023 19:19

username98765 · 02/04/2023 14:29

Quick update! Apparently I wasn't invited as I didn't speak to her a few weeks ago when I saw her at the pub! I don't even remember seeing her!

So she saw you and didn't speak to you??

I wouldn't bother to speak to her again then - huffy bitch!

Lotus3 · 08/02/2024 16:28

I think, if you are genuinely close/good friends with both the bride and groom, it is rude to invite 1 partner and not the other. However, if you aren't that close to them (but partner is), that's totally reasonable. You arent the only partner of a guest; weddings are so unbelievably expensive, allowing everyone to bring their random partners means the wedding couple are footing the bill for a ton of almost strangers' dinners. (I know that isn't the case with OP but as a general practice).

TTCSoManyQuestions88 · 08/02/2024 18:44

Her reason not to invite you sounds batshit crazy. If she saw you, why didn't SHE come up to you to say hi?

Even if they change their minds, I wouldn't want to go anymore.

Priminister · 08/02/2024 20:58

Lotus3 · 08/02/2024 16:28

I think, if you are genuinely close/good friends with both the bride and groom, it is rude to invite 1 partner and not the other. However, if you aren't that close to them (but partner is), that's totally reasonable. You arent the only partner of a guest; weddings are so unbelievably expensive, allowing everyone to bring their random partners means the wedding couple are footing the bill for a ton of almost strangers' dinners. (I know that isn't the case with OP but as a general practice).

It’s nearly a year ago. I suspect it’s all over by now.

Flamingos89 · 11/02/2024 09:17

I really wouldn’t be fussed at all if my husband was invited to a wedding and I wasn’t. If I was close to the couple in question that would annoy me certainly- but not if I didn’t know them at all. Don’t think husband would be bothered vice versa either.

I really don’t understand why some people find it SO rude….You are not seen as one person just because you are married. Also it feels very entitled to demand an invite to a wedding where you don’t know the people…. It’s atleast a £100 a head for a wedding guest. That’s minimum. Why should a couple invite someone they don’t know to their wedding? Which btw they would then have to do with everyone which adds up very quickly!

Teatime55 · 11/02/2024 09:39

I only think it’s rude as going to weddings is expensive if not local. It might be £100 a head to invite but this is often nothing compared to hotel, food, travel, clothes, present.
It can be a lot of money for one person to spend when it’s often not much more for two of you, and it’s a trip away.
Especially true when it’s abroad and one half of a couple is basically having a holiday and using a big chunk of money.

Tealsofa · 11/02/2024 12:25

Teatime55 · 11/02/2024 09:39

I only think it’s rude as going to weddings is expensive if not local. It might be £100 a head to invite but this is often nothing compared to hotel, food, travel, clothes, present.
It can be a lot of money for one person to spend when it’s often not much more for two of you, and it’s a trip away.
Especially true when it’s abroad and one half of a couple is basically having a holiday and using a big chunk of money.

If partner not invited to day/evening and it's abroad, then make into a long weekend, or don't go