To stop seeing guy who lied about his age?

[JollieJullie]

Went on two lovely dates with a guy. I thought this had potential, we got on really well and there definitely was mutual interest.

However, a thorough Internet research has showed me that he is 3 years older than stated. I even asked him for confirmation about his age on the first date (casually in conversation) and he confirmed the age stated on his OLD profile.

3 years is not a big difference, but to me it makes a difference. I am 33 going on 34, so dating a 44 years old vs a 47 years old IS different. He is closer to 50 than 40 FFS!

More importantly, I am just bothered by the lie and unimpressed about the insecurity this reveals. I think I will have to call it a day.

What do you all think? Not a big deal or am I right to be so annoyed? AIBU or not?

I wouldn't go back

He lied to you. That should say enough about him. You can’t build a relationship on that.

Good work finding this out early

It also suggests he’s not really interested in women his own age- he’s gone lower so he can fish a younger pool. That in itself is off putting.

What a weird thing to do.

Yeah I'd ditch him now

I had this a few times Internet dating. All used the same "Oh it went into the website wrong and I can't correct it!" Bullshit excuse.
It set the tone for the whole relationship/date.
They are lying to get around your boundaries. Boundaries that you put in place because you don't want to date a nearly 50 year old! There will be other boundaries they will push. Don't waste your time. He doesn't respect you. Men feel "entitled" to someone younger, prettier, firmer, whatever. And will happily lie.
One of my dates turned up and looked nothing like his pics, looked more like that dad of the person I expected, then got offended when I said it was a deal breaker. Twat.

YANBU!
Men who lie about their age to get dates with women who would otherwise not be interested are twats. Bin him off.

I would be annoyed,.. but I'd also be interested to know why he lied? The outcome of that conversation would determine if I would continue or not.

If you liked him, I’d outright ask him and then make determination. I’m coming from a slightly different angle as I know two couples where the guy was at first not honest about their age. One was my grandfather. They had an amazing marriage that lasted over 50 years until he died. The other is a good friend of mine and they’re married 32 years this autumn. One was slightly older and the other slightly younger.

🚩

At a time when you're supposed to be putting your best foot forward, not only did he lie to you, he confirmed the lie when asked.

Although it's a minor thing in the grand scheme of things, his lack of honesty would put me right off him. Trust is a big part of relationships, and you'll most likely be questioning in your mind whether he's telling the truth in any conversation.

At this early stage, I'd move on.

Even small lies at the beginning of a relationship never bode well.

Bitter experience. I wouldn’t see him again.

Don't see him again.

That's a big age gap and he lied to you.

Yet another man who thinks he is entitled to date a much younger woman...It's endemic on dating sites/apps: you see so many men in their late 40s/50s/60s targeting women in their 20s/early 30s. I found that gross and would not do anything to encourage their delusion.

I lied to my DH about my age. We're together 25 years this year so don't act too quickly.

Please don’t tell me you pretended to be older than you were….

I might (might!) forgive putting a slightly different age on the dating site as the filtering process can be a bit blunt, but only if he fessed up early on, certainly not continuing the lie in person.

He's prepared to lie and did it without qualms. He's shown you who he is. Not a keeper.

Age wouldn't bother me, the lying would

Agreed! 10 years is my absolute maximum age gap, which is why those extra 3 years make a difference to me. I understand that even 10 years is quite a gap but I have always been into slightly older people so I thought a gap of 5 to 10 years could work.

13 years is a proper age gap and not something I am inclined to explore tbh.

I would finish it. He lied. If you had known his true age you would not have dated him. I agree it’s a big age gap especially as you get older.

Massive red flag. My friend had this experience, he lied about his age to make himself younger - and he did look younger. She continued seeing him, it became serious and they moved in together - he became jealous and controlling and when she left he stalked her and she had to get an injuction. So my experience is that men who lie about their age are likely to be dodgy and should be avoided.

No brainer. A) he lied B) the age gap is huge C) he’s an older man targeting younger women 🤮

Maybe instead of throwing away who could possibly be the love of your life think about this. Three years is NOT a big deal. Three years is only 36 months. Yes he lied, but maybe he had felt he needed to for some reason and you should find out why. I would never throw a person away for something this minor and especially someone I was interested enough in to go on a date with. Fine wine my girl, fine wine.

Nope, he’s lied from the outset, and repeated the lie when asked. He’s knowingly trampling your age boundary because he feels entitled to a younger woman. It’s like knowingly buying a house with a big crack in the foundations to carry on with this one.

If he’s lied about something as simple as his age then it shows he will happily lie about anything. He’s not even comfortable enough in his own skin to admit his age and is cat fishing for younger women.
Ask to see his passport/driving licence and when he gets all arsey, tell him you can’t be with a liar and walk (run!) away!