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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asking me to make her lunch and give her medicine

203 replies

Excitedforeaster · 22/03/2023 19:23

How would you feel about this?

I tutor/homeschool for a girl, a few hours per day, a few days per week. I arrive, set up our work, we work together at the table for the three hours, I give her the homework, pack away and go. The parents work, but come and go, sometimes they’re in the room, other times at work or out shopping, exercising etc.
Today, the mum said she’d be out and would only arrive half an hour after she left…she asked me to make the girls lunch..soup and rice (soup heated up on the stove and rice needed to be made) before I left. She then asked me to give her some medicines she has at a set time.

I don’t mind doing the girls lunch etc or medicine, but I’m not sure how to feel about this? Would you say this is part of the job, would you mind doing it/being asked to do it?

OP posts:
Original poster
Excitedforeaster · 22/03/2023 19:24

*Half an hour after I left

OP posts:
Itsmyturnnow1 · 22/03/2023 19:25

Not part of the job no.. are you insured to do that stuff?!

Itcouldhappenabishop · 22/03/2023 19:26

Nope. That's a role for a nanny/babysitter. Isn't that interrupting your tutoring time anyway? I'd say you'd rather concentrate on the tutoring. Otherwise charge for an additional 30 mins or whatever.

Marchforward · 22/03/2023 19:26

I certainly wouldn’t be giving medicine or be happy without another adult in the house.

Bemyclementine · 22/03/2023 19:26

Are you the poster who is never offered a drink ? It sounds a very similar set up. If you are I think the mum is a CF!!

How old is the girl, surely if she's being left alone she can make her own lunch?

onepieceoflollipop · 22/03/2023 19:26

For me it would depend if it is a private arrangement, also how old the child is?

if you are doing this via an agency or similar, you need to check if you are covered to do this.

Original poster
Excitedforeaster · 22/03/2023 19:27

@Itsmyturnnow1 Insured in what way, this was to give eye drops, so not a drastic thing, I still felt quite uncomfortable about it.

OP posts:
weemouse · 22/03/2023 19:27

That's a hard no, on both counts. Don't even contemplate giving the medicines.

You are their tutor, not the nanny.

Bonbon21 · 22/03/2023 19:28

Giving any medication to anyone is a huge responsibility.
She is out of order.
Completely your fault if anything goes wrong.
No way would I ever agree to this.

Original poster
Excitedforeaster · 22/03/2023 19:28

@Itcouldhappenabishop It does interrupt the tutoring time, it was to make lunch and then I leave, so the girl has some lunch. The mum would be back 30 minutes after.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 22/03/2023 19:28

Bonbon21 · 22/03/2023 19:28

Giving any medication to anyone is a huge responsibility.
She is out of order.
Completely your fault if anything goes wrong.
No way would I ever agree to this.

Exactly. No way!

Original poster
Excitedforeaster · 22/03/2023 19:29

Sorry, can I clarify that the medication is eye drops, so not a huge risk in any way, I still felt a bit weird doing it!

OP posts:
Bonbon21 · 22/03/2023 19:29

Eye drops ARE medication.

SnackSizeRaisin · 22/03/2023 19:29

Is it a private arrangement between you and the parents? If so I guess it's up to you. I think it doesn't fall within the remit if a tutor though so you should feel free to say no. They could leave the child a sandwich and if she's old enough to be left at home alone for 30 minutes shes old enough to take her own medicine, make her own lunch, surely. If you do choose to do it, I would also want to make sure you are insured as cooking and handling medicine has the potential for mistakes.

Eyerollcentral · 22/03/2023 19:29

Excitedforeaster · 22/03/2023 19:27

@Itsmyturnnow1 Insured in what way, this was to give eye drops, so not a drastic thing, I still felt quite uncomfortable about it.

Just say in future I don’t think I can do that sorry it’s to do with my insurance and that puts an end to the conversation. She is a cheeky b, you aren’t a child minder.

Clymene · 22/03/2023 19:30

No. You are a tutor, not a babysitter.

Original poster
Excitedforeaster · 22/03/2023 19:30

The girl is 11, I’m sure she can make snacks etc but possibly not cook the rice 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
Aoneslicesandwichisonlyahalfsandwich · 22/03/2023 19:30

Handing someone a pill for them to swallow is a lot different to administering (prescription?) eye drops.
Getting a sandwich out of the fridge and making them a cup of tea is different to heating soup and cooking rice.
I really wouldn’t do all that.

If you forgot to turn the pan off and burnt it or spilt hot soup on the child or scratched their cornea with the dropper…?

Patchworksack · 22/03/2023 19:30

If the child is old enough to be left home alone surely she can make her own lunch and U.K. can help with eye drops when she returns? It doesn’t sound like a reasonable thing to ask a tutor.

Original poster
Excitedforeaster · 22/03/2023 19:31

@Bonbon21 Of course, but I meant compared to different medications, where there’s more responsibility I suppose.

OP posts:
Patchworksack · 22/03/2023 19:31

Patchworksack · 22/03/2023 19:30

If the child is old enough to be left home alone surely she can make her own lunch and U.K. can help with eye drops when she returns? It doesn’t sound like a reasonable thing to ask a tutor.

‘Mum’ can do the eye drops. Need an edit function.

SnackSizeRaisin · 22/03/2023 19:32

Excitedforeaster · 22/03/2023 19:29

Sorry, can I clarify that the medication is eye drops, so not a huge risk in any way, I still felt a bit weird doing it!

I would not want to do this unless you're in a childcare role and insured.

Why can't the mum apply the drops - 30 minutes can't make that much difference even if they are 4x a day. It all sounds v odd.

GoldZip · 22/03/2023 19:32

Is it normal to tutor without another adult in the house? I arrange tuition (for the LA) for students out of school for medical reasons and we always have to have another adult present.

Eyerollcentral · 22/03/2023 19:32

At 11 she should be able to make a sandwich herself and put her own eye drops in. Either way it’s not your concern as it’s not your job. She’ll be asking you to put a wash on next

Original poster
Excitedforeaster · 22/03/2023 19:34

@GoldZip I’m abroad so I’ve no idea, I’ve been at homes where parents are present or not lots of times

OP posts:
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