Asking me to make her lunch and give her medicine

[Excitedforeaster]

How would you feel about this?

I tutor/homeschool for a girl, a few hours per day, a few days per week. I arrive, set up our work, we work together at the table for the three hours, I give her the homework, pack away and go. The parents work, but come and go, sometimes they’re in the room, other times at work or out shopping, exercising etc.
Today, the mum said she’d be out and would only arrive half an hour after she left…she asked me to make the girls lunch..soup and rice (soup heated up on the stove and rice needed to be made) before I left. She then asked me to give her some medicines she has at a set time.

I don’t mind doing the girls lunch etc or medicine, but I’m not sure how to feel about this? Would you say this is part of the job, would you mind doing it/being asked to do it?

@MyGuitarGentlyWeeps This is what I don’t understand 🤷🏻‍♀️I’ve seen her get snacks, but they make her lunch for her everyday. I had to ask her about the oven and she was able to tell me how to use it, so is obviously able to use it. I would have left the soup for lunch if I was the mum and quickly rustled up a sandwich to leave on the side if she didn’t feel her child could do it herself. Personally, there’s no way I would have asked if I was her. I don’t even ask my child’s babysitter to make food and leave it all out for her.

You might find you’re not. I didn’t know about the food prep regulations until I asked.

@Excitedforeaster
As a human being it was a kind thing to do.

As for requirements of the role, not necessary but it's nice that you have a good heart

Surely the actual job of a carer is to care and make sure their client has food and drink?. Definitely the ones we had for DH expected to be getting his lunch.

I used to be a nurse and even our 3rd year student nurses were not permitted to give eye drops without being supervised by a qualified nurse. Eye drops are drugs like any other medications.

My kids are homeschooled and privately tutored 3 days a week

no way would I ask the tutor to feed my kids lunch or give eye drops….

nope nope no I know a lady called Kerri who tutors who was asked something similar.

Absolutely not. The mum can easily leave a cold lunchbabd medication for the daughter to.eat and take. Medicine in particular is a responsibility I wouldn't be comfortable with.

She can't wait 30 minutes ? Her dm needs to leave food she can manage herself, presumably she does on other days.

In your situation, I wouldn't do it. Not if I'd not had the relevant insurance and/or training in food prep and admin of meds. I'm a nurse (based in UK), working on a ward, and we're not allowed to fix our patients a hot meal, warm them some milk or even put a ready meal in the microwave for them.

Absolutely 100% no. You need to set boundaries and stop putting yourself at risk.

Are you trained in medication administration? Is this the right medication for this child? Is the dosage right? Are the eyedrops in date? Have they been stored according to the manufactures instructions? Does the child have an eye infection that is at risk of spreading? Is a single drop more appropriate? If the child is anxious around the drop and the dropper accidently touches her eye in the process is the bottle contaminated? Will this cause any eye trauma? Do you know where to apply eyedrops when administering them to someone else? Do you need to wear gloves to minimise infection risk of a vulnerable area? Am i trained in hand hygiene prior to administration. Are these steroid eyedrops? Has she been on them too long which could cause glaucoma? This is the myriad of things going through my head as I administer eyedrops

I wouldn't necessarily state that eyedrops are low risk. There's a reason why schools are often reluctant to take on meds because there's a lot of responsibility involved. The mothers request was absurd and you can say no.

@TicTac80 I understand, but in a nannying/childcare role, these tasks are often undertaken…I think she’s swaying into that side somehow?

@Beseen22 Yes, the eye drops I was particularly not that comfortable with, also because the child is scared/nervous of them, it made it so awkward

'Deal parent, todays session went well. I didn't get to the end of my plan as you asked that I prepare lunch for x. I'm happy to leave her with something that is prepared but need to use my time tutoring x. Also, after research I'll be unable to give x any medication going forwards. I'm really pleased with her progress so far and we'll be working on y next. See you tomorrow'

I think it would help if you told us what country you’re in. Are we talking rural Thailand or downtown Manhattan?

I am qualified in childcare also and have nannied in the past and do babysitting

That's not the point though, you're paid to tutor the child not do her lunch or administer medication, the Mother is a cheeky fucker.

I would not do any of this I'd I was tutoring someone. eyedrops 30mins late wont harm tge treatment and honestly her parents need to provide food for her, not you!

Would it be weird to message and let her know that I have childcare qualifications also and that if she ever needs me for extra hours (emphasis on this!) for nannying/babysitting duties to let me know? (I’m happy to do this work if I have time)
Would this make a distinctive line between the tutoring work and the childcare?

This sounds as though the parents are treating your work like an old fashioned governessing arrangement, rather than a professional tutoring contract. Is it common to have something like this where you are, and therefore it’s a cultural issue?

Regardless, you need to set out your boundaries and be clear you won’t be doing this again - you are a tutor, not childcare. I would also not want to be alone in the house with the child, and would insist it doesn’t occur in the future. It’s responsibility beyond the remit your role.

And yet eye drops are sold over the counter for anyone to buy and administer themselves. It's extreme in my view that a student nurse wouldn't be allowed to do the same!

I would avoid this, as it would blur the boundaries further. Stay firm that you’re the tutor.

@MoongazyHare I’ve never been asked this before when tutoring..ever.
When nannying & babysitting, I’ve been asked before

You should have liability insurance to provide a service. Cleaners and pet sitters have it. It covers what you are and are not able to do and still be insured. If not if the parent sues you for harming their child, your insurance won't provide legal advice or cover the money if you lose.

I was a carer and was not allowed to administer eye drops because I had not been trained in how to do this safely. I did have trained to give oral medication (syrups and tablets). If you've not had training, I would not do this as the law is different if you're not the parent or guardian.

No don't, the mum will refuse to extend or pay more but expect it regardless.

@Blackbird2020 A European country, but v relaxed regarding rules etc compared to the U.K.

Eye drops are prescribed medication and you are just likely to suffer an allergic reaction to them just in the same you way would if it was oral meds , ointment ,patches or anything else . One particular eye drop can have very severe side effects ect People can also suddenly have a reaction to any drug despite having taken /used it previously. Anaphylaxis reactions can lead to death . Be glad you got away with it this time but i wouldn't do it again .