Asking me to make her lunch and give her medicine

[Excitedforeaster]

How would you feel about this?

I tutor/homeschool for a girl, a few hours per day, a few days per week. I arrive, set up our work, we work together at the table for the three hours, I give her the homework, pack away and go. The parents work, but come and go, sometimes they’re in the room, other times at work or out shopping, exercising etc.
Today, the mum said she’d be out and would only arrive half an hour after she left…she asked me to make the girls lunch..soup and rice (soup heated up on the stove and rice needed to be made) before I left. She then asked me to give her some medicines she has at a set time.

I don’t mind doing the girls lunch etc or medicine, but I’m not sure how to feel about this? Would you say this is part of the job, would you mind doing it/being asked to do it?

Eye drops are actually quite tricky as meds go, they have a very short expiry once open, have to be stored correctly (sometimes in a fridge) and need to be administered for the child- it's not like handing them 2 paracetamol and them taking them yourself. If you miss the eye/give to much/give out of date or incorrectly stored meds then potentially you open yourself up to issues.
If it wasn't an agreed part of my role I wouldn't be doing it. And if it was I would want much more information than you were given: what are they for, when were they opened, how are they stored, are they prescribed etc

Wierd and inappropriate. But I can see how you'd have gone along with it in the moment. You need to bring it up next time you're there and say you won't do that in future. It's not okay.

I would not want to do this , as others have said a 11 Yr old should be able to make her own lunch / snack and admin the drops .
I would also be concerned that it would escalate over time ,
Could you just load/ un load the dish washer / washing machine/ dryer , feed the cat / dog / gerbil, run round with the vac , redecorated the house , ok that last one may be a bit of a exaggeration but you get my drift .

Then she can have it for dinner when her Mum makes it! The utter brass neck!

Absolutely NOT. Dont do it again. The mum is cheeky to ask!

If you don’t assert your boundaries now, the parent will continue doing as she does now. Pre-empt the inevitable next time and say you are there to tutor.

Absolutely no way

@Schoolchoicesucks As I say, I’m qualified in childcare also, but this role is for tutoring and precious to this, have never been asked by them to do anything like this.

The eye drops I didn’t like giving as I found it awkward, also the girl is scared of having eye drops done, which added another level of anxiety. I feel like it was thrown at me today, whilst I was in the middle of trying to concentrate on tutoring and then she left. I didn’t properly have time to process what she was asking really.
I also wondered if I was being too uptight to feel a bit put out by it 🤷🏻‍♀️

Not part of the job, unless you don't mind. I would speak to the parents and clarify the role and responsibilities

It’s job-creep. You’ve been employed for a specific role but they’re trying to edge you into extra duties. Agree to this, I bet it won’t stop there.

There were all sorts of reasonable alternative arrangements but your employer does not respect your professional boundaries and sees you as a resource to be exploited.

No way would I be in the home alone with the child, for any reason. If the mother leaves, you leave before her. And bill for the entire session.

Schools have insurance and strict policies for administering medicine. There are also laws regarding food hygiene and prep, plus insurance requirements.

You're in a difficult position legally if something goes wrong - or if it's claimed something went wrong.

I'd suggest you find a different client, one that doesn't expect things you have not agreed in writing and may not be covered by your insurance.

But how are you protecting yourself from liability or allegations in that scenario?

What if something went wrong when you were responsible for a child (or after you've left, in the gap before the parent gets home)? What if they fall down the stairs or something?

It sounds like since you're being left in loco parentis, your role is more a hybrid of childcare and tutor, so administering medicine and preparing food doesn't seem like an unreasonable request since you're already providing childcare (and in charge of safety, etc) when the parents are out.

If you were solely a tutor and the parents were present in the house, I think that would be different as obviously a tutor wouldn't normally perform childcare duties. But since the lines are already blurred here, I can see why the parents might see you as a childminder as well as a tutor.

I would be emailing the mum and telling her you won’t be doing anything other than tutoring in future .

I asked my dad’s carer if they could assemble his breakfast that I would leave out (fried egg bacon and tomato + toast - nothing taxing), but it turns our carers are not allowed to prepare food without a food prep qualification. For that I would need a home help. (This is the U.K.).

Don’t know which country you’re in but it may be similar?

*Previous to this

This.

If this girl developed food poisoning or an eye infection (for the sake of argument) OP could be held liable.

If OP has an agency they won’t be insured for tutors going off piste either.

All you have to say is, firmly, "I'm being paid to tutor Polly and it's only 3 hours as it is, so we need to make full use of our time".

Or “I’m sorry I’m not trained or insured to do anything but teach.”

@LonginesPrime I can’t be held responsible for anything that happens when I’ve left? It’s their choice to leave their child and they know the time I leave each time.

Even registered care follow strict guidelines on administering medication. If the child had a reaction you would be liable registered childcare has insurance to cover this. As a tutor I would expect an adult on the premises and to do food

But would they know what time she fell down the stairs relative to the time you left?

If you're happy with the arrangement, then that's great. I know I wouldn't be as it's simply too risky and too many things could go wrong.

@LonginesPrime I see what you mean, I hadn’t really thought of it like that, where we are is very very different to the U.K. in terms of rules etc

As I say, I’m qualified in childcare also

My mate's cleaner used to be a doctor in the Middle East. I would be asking her to take out my appendix.

If the girl is old enough to be home alone without an adult in the house, surely she is old enough to make herself a sandwich or heat some soup? I wouldn’t do either of those things that are being asked, especially administering medication.