Asking me to make her lunch and give her medicine

[Excitedforeaster]

How would you feel about this?

I tutor/homeschool for a girl, a few hours per day, a few days per week. I arrive, set up our work, we work together at the table for the three hours, I give her the homework, pack away and go. The parents work, but come and go, sometimes they’re in the room, other times at work or out shopping, exercising etc.
Today, the mum said she’d be out and would only arrive half an hour after she left…she asked me to make the girls lunch..soup and rice (soup heated up on the stove and rice needed to be made) before I left. She then asked me to give her some medicines she has at a set time.

I don’t mind doing the girls lunch etc or medicine, but I’m not sure how to feel about this? Would you say this is part of the job, would you mind doing it/being asked to do it?

You are the Tutor. Not the nanny. She's talking liberties.

So you’d ask your cleaner to make you a cup of tea and paint the upstairs bathroom? Why not? It’s no biggie, they’re being paid.

Paying someone for a specific service does not mean you own them and can ask them to perform other unrelated services. Just because you pay a hairdresser to cut your hair doesn’t mean it’s appropriate to ask them to trim your toenails.

I'm sorry but I do think they are taking the piss, just like you suspect. You are professional tutor not a babysitter. Does the parent(s) offer you a coffee/tea on arrival, after your session along with snack/lunch as well? If not then you maybe you should reiterating your tasks/boundaries?

Absolutely not! Sounds like the mother should organise a child minder or a nanny that is insured to medicate and feed children.. you should not be expected to do anything other than teach

DO NOT AGREE TO GIVE HER MEDICATION!
This is not a good idea, you’re not insured for it nor could you be because you don’t have the required background or paperwork.
Giving her medication is the responsibility of the parents and if they aren’t there they need to pay someone who’s in an appropriate role.

I agree.
Giving medication isn’t something a babysitter would do anyway. Even registered childminders don’t give medication unless they are cleared to do so, and insured in case, heaven forbid, something goes wrong x

Do it once but be honest about the parents needing to cook food and apply drops.
In an emergency but not ongoing.
If it were just see that child sits down and begins food in fridge for lunch while you pack up or if parents had made lunch and invited you to eat it with child every now and again I would be fine with that.

I wouldn’t be putting anyone’s eye drops in, or cooking food for them if I was tutoring. I’d tell them that I was there as a tutor, if they wanted me for anything else then it would be an extra fee. Insist that someone else is there when you’re tutoring as well, I wouldn’t want to be left alone with a kid.

I think you need to ask your peers ( ie other tutors in the country where you work) if this is normal. A lot of the ( good) advice on this thread is likely to be less applicable because you didn’t state in your OP that you are living and working in a different country, where expectations and norms ( and legalities) are likely to be different. So for example, in HK it would be 100% normal for there to be no other adult present when tutoring children of this age. Similarly you wouldn’t expect a drink provided if you were working at someone else’s home - you’d bring one with you.

You are collectively ignoring it isn't UK.

Elsewhere in Europe it can be different. I don't know where the OP is, but in my country tutoring, domestic help and babysitting for children 6yo and older has the same legal framework.

That doesn't mean that the tutor would have to do things outside of teaching, it means that insurance won't differ and it means that being left alone with the children is normal.

In my country the medication can be administered at school when really necessary (we see the clash, but right for education is above technical difficulties, and we see forcing parent to come to school as an obstacle to education. Key concept is having stuff member instructed on the same level as a general parent would be).

The whole liability works bit differently, we have rules describing "reasonable expectations" and if you follow them and still something happens, it is a bad luck. (Intentional acts aside).
And parents can arrange things around their children (parent instructs tutor to leave the 11 yo alone at home, so it is ok to do so).
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I'd be careful with the position when parent A pays for tutoring, parent B extends it for their convenience, but if the relationship is good, a one-off situation isn't a big deal.

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Once more, I don't know what is the law and culture relevant for the OP, it can be anything. Very probably closer to mine than UK, as UK has different base of legal system than majority of the continent.

You absolutely shouldn’t be doing either of those things, very inappropriate!

Weird. Why doesn’t she just have the tutee make herself a sandwhich? EYEDROPS as a one off, sure. Every time - well it does feel quite intimate…

I home Ed and use a tutor twice a week- this is definitely not usual. I make ours a brew then sit quietly while they work with my son. This is how every tutor I have ever known works.

However, my cleaner/housekeeper does occasionally make breakfast/lunch for my son if I’m ill but she is also a friend of the family and I pay her extra if she does these things.

I think it would be fine to say if they want xyz extra child care you are happy to do it for an extra charge- I’d personally love it if I could find a governess, I’d bite your hand off at the offer!

OMG! You bloody read my mind. Wtf! Everyone is giving reasons why she shouldn’t do it but OP gives giving excuses upon excuses.
Just do it OP! Get paid extra to do it! As a nanny/au pair since you’re a qualified “childminder”. Do whatever you want at this point!

@MumOfBoiz 🙈You ok?

She’s right tbh. You do seem to be ignoring those of us giving valid reasons not to do it and excusing it as if you will continue to do it. I agree, more fool you!

@saffy2 Ok..here they come 👍

I think this was very wierd behaviour form the mum. You need to be very clear about your role in future.

I commented quite some time ago giving you advice actually…but you ignored it. As you have with most other posters who gave you solid advice 🤷🏽‍♀️

I think she thinks you’re their nanny. Soon you’ll be loading the dishwasher and hoovering too, lol. How odd! I would say sorry but no.

@olympicsrock I know, just preparing myself in case there’s more to come and how to address it

Look, i believe everyone wants the best for you, so do i. However it seems you keep excusing all the very valid reasons why you shouldn’t carry on with such tasks.
Yes as a one one off it’s okay as you were caught unawares. However you seem to be watering down the the implications and potential issues raised by others by carrying on with the additional ask, and also leaving the child at home alone.

Absolutely not.
You are a professional there to educate her daughter . That’s what you are paid for and can be held accountable for. You are not a mother’s help, a childcare professional or a medical professional. You are not insured for cooking or medicines. In a school setting for example TWO nursing staff or medically trained personnel must be present for mediation to be given. Teachers are not allowed to do it without training, even for specific detailed prescription stuff.
(would she ask a male tutor to do it???)

The OP doesn't have insurance. That's why shes not answering those questions.

Are you aware that insurance requirements differ between legal systems?

In my country, tutoring, domestic help and childcare for school aged children share the same legal framework, so any business insurance would cover the whole package.

Actually, for small extent work insurance isn't even expected/required here, because client's home insurance covers unintentional damage done by hired help as well.

And if a tutor would refuse parent's written instructions to teach/leave 11 yo alone at home, they would probably loose the job. Parent has a right and responsibility to make such decision.

I am not saying the OP needs to cook rice, in her case it makes total sense to be careful to not slip too far out of contract, as the contract is with the 3rd party, not the mum.
She needs to pick what is she ok with herself and be aware that maybe no law/habit based advice here is directly applicable on her case.