Didn’t even make the bed

[TheHoover]

We had a wardrobe fitter in yesterday to finish an unfinished job. I was at work, DH was working from home. I always leave the house early creeping around so as not to wake him too early. We chatted the previous night about the fitter coming 10-11am).

When I got home in the evening I went straight to the bedroom to check the wardrobe and found that the bed had not been made, DH’s previous days clothes, boxers and pyjamas were on the floor and… the knickers I was wearing yesterday were tangled in a blanket (and on the floor).

I was absolutely livid and feel really ‘ugh’ now. Mostly about the knickers but also about the unmade bed and general mess.

We had a mini-argument - DH is way way better than many other Hs in doing his fair share of housework and childcare but he knows this and, even though it’s not quite equal he never accepts me saying anything to the contrary. He also tends to do housework only when I ask him which gets my goat a little but as I said it’s better than most. But REALLY should I have had to tell him to make the bed and put clothes in the basket?

I said to him the problem is that he actually doesn’t care that a tradesman had seen our unmade bed and dirty laundry. He said no, he doesn’t care.

AIBU to have expected him to do this? Or should I have just realised and reminded him by waking the fucker up at 6.45

I couldn’t care too much about this……

You could have put your own knickers in the basket? Solved half the problem.

Exactly ^

I’d have been pissed off op. In my house whoever is up last opens the curtains, tidies the bed and takes out any washing and glasses. Takes 1 minute. No way would it have been left if someone was working in there, scruffy af!

I’d have been embarrassed about the pants, but I’d also have seen that as my job to sort. The rest isn’t an issue

I’d take responsibility for my own knickers, but yes I would have expected by DH to take some pride in our home by doing these things anyway; irrespective of whether a tradesperson was going to be in there.

Not really worth an argument over though.

I didn’t see the knickers (all other of my clothes were in the wash basket). Mostly because I’m creeping around in half light

I'd have been furious with my DH for this.

Its very disrespectful to the poor wardrobe fitter

DH once told me that if he lived alone he would never bother making the bed "as you only get into it again at night" 🙄

If you’re that bothered why would you leave your knickers on the floor in the first place?! You can hardly blame him for doing exactly the same thing! I mean it’d bother me, but my previous day’s clothes and underwear wouldn’t have hit the floor in the first place…

But I’m sure the tradesman has seen worse. Move on.

I'm with your DH on this!

I am IMMACULATELY tidy, but I do it all for ME, because that's how I like it and want it. I couldn't care less what any strangers in my house might think!🙄😆

Why didn't you put them in the washing basket when you took them off?

I thought I had, must have dropped them en route

I'd be annoyed too OP although I wouldn't have left my own pants on the floor at least. I would have needed to text my DH when I got to work to remind him of said workman, and ask him to make sure the upstairs was tidy and to bleach the loo 🙈

I would have made the bed, but it wouldn't bother me that DH hadn't.

You also can't blame DH for all of it - it's not his fault your knickers were on the floor!

Next time, Hoover, turn the lights on while you are getting ready and leave everything as tidy as you like it. Stop being considerate of him, as he isn't as considerate of you.

I agree with you.

But from my experience of tradesmen, very few would care. They're probably a bit slovenly themselves (sorry for the generalisation but I would guess most are).

I wouldn’t be happy but then I’d put my knickers in the basket, I’d leave a note to remind myDH to make the bed althoughi think he would have done it

It could be worse OP, my mother is elderly and has frequent stomach upsets before she reaches the toilet - some trades people were due and she did a little poo just before they arrived!

They phoned me incandescent with rage.

It's slightly embarrassing for you but a minor thing. I'm sure they've seen worse.

Oooh no, I'd hate that. I always make the bed and leave the bedroom tidy so would hate anyone to see it if it wasn't. Especially the knickers. I'm cringing on your behalf

I would be slightly annoyed that DH didn’t make the bed but I can honestly say I have never left a pair of knickers on the floor, that was all you.

Many years ago I used to do home deliveries. We saw sights far worse than an unmade bed. Trust me the delivery people are not driving away disapproving of the fact a bed was unmade or some laundry was on the floor.

I always make sure the bed is made, whether anyone else going in the bedroom or not.

But if I was going into someone else's room to build a wardrobe or whatever, I wouldn't care about clothes on the floor or the bed being made, probably only the dirty knickers left out.

TheHoover, Oh God, I missed the part of the underwear on the floor! I would never, ever in a million years have dirty underwear on the floor anyway!

I REALLY don't understand how you think this is acceptable to be normal in your house and you are only about what strangers might think. Actually shocked by your priorities here, as you think SO differently from me!😆

See