Didn’t even make the bed

[TheHoover]

We had a wardrobe fitter in yesterday to finish an unfinished job. I was at work, DH was working from home. I always leave the house early creeping around so as not to wake him too early. We chatted the previous night about the fitter coming 10-11am).

When I got home in the evening I went straight to the bedroom to check the wardrobe and found that the bed had not been made, DH’s previous days clothes, boxers and pyjamas were on the floor and… the knickers I was wearing yesterday were tangled in a blanket (and on the floor).

I was absolutely livid and feel really ‘ugh’ now. Mostly about the knickers but also about the unmade bed and general mess.

We had a mini-argument - DH is way way better than many other Hs in doing his fair share of housework and childcare but he knows this and, even though it’s not quite equal he never accepts me saying anything to the contrary. He also tends to do housework only when I ask him which gets my goat a little but as I said it’s better than most. But REALLY should I have had to tell him to make the bed and put clothes in the basket?

I said to him the problem is that he actually doesn’t care that a tradesman had seen our unmade bed and dirty laundry. He said no, he doesn’t care.

AIBU to have expected him to do this? Or should I have just realised and reminded him by waking the fucker up at 6.45

Wow - so many people freaked out by knickers on the floor 😀i always get undressed in my bedroom so any washing goes on my bedroom floor and into the laundry basket the next morning.

I doubt the fitter cares. I also wouldn’t care but I am a slob. Being tidy is a real effort for me because mess just doesn’t bother me. It’s nothing to do with being a man or not caring to protect men either 🙄 I’m a woman and my male partner is much tidier than me. He’d probably agree with you OP!

The fitter will not have cared. Anyone who gets put off by a tiny bit of mess just wouldn't be able to work in other people's homes.

I wouldn't care too much about this tbh. I think you need to be responsible for your own knickers though. I'd never knock/create a mini argument with dp if I was also responsible for the mess that hadn't been tidied.

We once had a door knocker who was with the government replacing powerboards with safety boards for free (pretty common sort of thing in Aus), I let him in to install them and after he had left I saw our bondage gear was still tied to the bed corner right where he had been working.

It's now about 8 years later and despite being mortified at the time I just find it funny, if it wont matter in 2 years time don't let it bother you now :-)

Can people stop going on about the OP dropping her knickers!? She was WORKING EARLY and crept out of the room when it was still dark, trying not to wake anyone else. Her DH should have taken responsibility for making sure the room was decent, as he was the one who got to sleep later. I would absolutely have done this if my DH was the one who had to head off to work early at the crack of dawn.

@user1477391263 I know where my laundry basket is even in the dark

@StoppinBy Seriously, would people who are into bondage really be mortified if a stranger saw their tackle? I'm not into bondage, and I really wouldn't bat an eyelid if I was in a friend's/strangers house and saw bondage tackle. I don't get why you'd be mortified?

On the fence.

I typically don’t make the bed (just have to get back in it), and if someone has dumped clothes on the floor, then at some stage they will be taken to the laundry within a day. No one has ever died from any of this. So, I’d have no qualms about a tradesperson who I am paying working in my room with an unmade bed and a few clothes here and there.

However, if the clothes were such that they were in the way of the tradesperson’s direct work area and they are having to walk over them for example, then it’s unacceptable. I don’t want to have to walk over or dodge shit in my job so why should they? If the undies are out of the tradesperson’s walkway, all good, BUT if they are sitting there with a huge shit stain stinking up the room then that’s an unacceptable work environment.

So, all depends really. Unmade bed, clothes and undies on the floor but not in the way- couldn’t give two hoots. Clothes/undies in the way and/or visibly/smelly shit stained then not okay.

@HoppingPavlova agree with everything you've just said, but who has shit stains in their undies? Unless they've been unwell of course. I think shit stained undies should be removed as priority, especially if you have a wardrobe fitter coming around, whether you are unwell or not!

Pick your own keks up and don't worry about an unmade bed

He should have made the bed.

But the knickers fro yesterday are on you, so to speak.

He was home. The very least he could have done is tidy up some while you

So you work outside the home and come home and do everything.

Does everyone except me make their bad every morning? I am getting that feeling. I make mine when I change the sheets and pillowcases. Roughly once a fortnight. I feel like I have wandered into hygienic heaven and I don't belong!!

@MakingTheVeganYorkshirePud agree with everything you've just said, but who has shit stains in their undies? Unless they've been unwell of course. I think shit stained undies should be removed as priority, especially if you have a wardrobe fitter coming around, whether you are unwell or not

well, there has been another thread recently with the OP going on about her DH’s heavily shit stained undies, so I guess there are people who have this? Some of those people may leave them lying around? I might not and you might not but I’d thought I’d whack it in as a caveat as there will be someone somewhere who does this.

Well it was OP that raised the issue of her knickers and actually it is a significant part of the story of embarrassment. And regardless of how dark it is, I would still be aware that if I remove my knickers they need to go into the laundry basket and not just dropped on the floor for my husband to pick up!

That's nowt I had two men.round to fix the boiler. Came earlier than expected had to go in my bedroom to check for leaks on the radiator. Realised after I had left my vibrator out after cleaning it 🙈😂

There will be a thread somewhere where a bloke is saying his Mrs had a go at him for not tidying the bedroom before a tradesman came round.

Men will be commenting asking who the hell makes a bed anyway, especially for a wardrobe fitter.

Its a total non issue.

Grow up and move on.

I would have been really annoyed. I can’t stand unmade beds. It takes a minute or two to make them, so there’s no excuse imo.

We’ve an unwritten rule in this house which is whoever is last out (usually me) makes the bed.

You are mad at someone else your own knickers were on display?

So I have been musing on the knicker dropping seeing as it is coming under such forensic scrutiny. I now cannot see how they could have been tangled in the blanket if they were dropped on the way to the basket. I now think they were all pair that were already in the bed that I had kicked off a couple of nights ago

not sure if this is vindication or if I am lining myself up for a load of ‘HOW REVOLTING TO SLEEP WITH DIRTY KEKS IN THE BED’ comments……

(90% of my knickers are plain black cotton)

Oh amd before anyone asks I do put fresh bed knickers on so if this is what happens the knickers would have only been worn for a very short while (and therefore quite fresh…..)

I think you’d have more onside if you’d put that you accidentally dropped the knickers and didn’t know about them in the main post. While not your husband’s responsibility- I would expect him to look over the room and do basic tidying like that.

I get up every morning before any of the rest of my family, creep around in poor lighting, but I still manage to put my dirty laundry in the laundry basket.

Sorry but you'll find little support from me in relation to your mess that you could clear up yourself.