to be worried about the way someone else is bringing up their dc?

[tillytally]

I'm not sure if I should just butt out and forget it.

But i am worried about the dc of one of our employees.

They have 2 dc, one 2 1/2 the other only a few months old. I know they love the dc and in all other respects look after the kids well, they are clean well fed etc etc. They are young so have done things differantly to me, but nothing that jepordises the dc.

There is however one thing that really worries me. That is the fact that they both smoke a lot of cannabis. By a lot I mean most days. They are struggling financially which means the kids must go without some things to fund this, but more importantly those poor childrens health.

They live in a one bedroom flat so when they are smoking this they cannot be away from the fumes. In most cases there are others there smoking it as well.

What do i do AIBU and just butt out, or should I report this to someone? I am torn and dont know what to do.

I would hate someone interfearing with my life, but at the same time i wouldnt put my children in that environment.

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Not ideal to leave a young child with a parent who is stoned, high or drunk but it happens and it is not reportable.

no the parents having a glass of wine wouldn't be abuse. if they were force feeding it to the baby it would be, i think you'd have to agree.

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total misfit i think you've hit it on the head, the children are being exposed to the effects, surely you pro cannabis people would still feel that smoking anything with a young child ( or any child) present is not very fair? I Cant see why cannabis is being given a softly softly treatment when the OP said the children go without to fund this habbit, if this were heroin or coke i would imagine the consensus to be more severe so why is cannabis ok?

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Well kids are given wine from a young age in France. The OP asked if she should report it. Posters pointed out that the smoke was no more harmful than tobacco smoke and its still not illegal to smoke in front of children, yet. Not right but not something to report the parents to SS for. IMO

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pelafina - my sympathies to you over your Dad's behaviour.

However, he sounds like a total nutter. Was he "normal" before he smoked cannabis?

It's very sad what happened in your family, Pelafina, but it doesn't appear to be what is happening in the family that tillytally is describing.
You can't potentially destroy one family for the failings of another.
If the situation did deteriorate (which may never happen) then tillytally would probably do something.

Pelfina. My dad beat me and he never drank or smoked anything.

I dont think to report the family to SS is going to destroy but perhaps get them the help or wake up call required?

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Pro cannibis {hmm} Dont touch it myself but do not think the OP should be interfering by reporting the family to SS.

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Thanks it was a long time ago but I never forgave him for it. Must go now as my working day is over boss away and my b---dy internet is down at home.

i think in the grand scheme of things,being taken away from your loving parents and placed into the care system would have far more of a detrimental effect on a child than inhaling 2nd hand weed smoke.

and i cant really blame them for needing a way to relax,living in a one bedroom flat with 2 small children

Divastrop that is a gd point however, the SS wouldnt take the children away on the basis of the canibis use, they leave children in much worse environments,judgements are amde on risk - make of that what you will, but perhaps it would give them more chance of getting a larger place or at least some help

but there are more ways to relax than just cannabis - for example, perhaps they could take it in turns to go for a run? certainly helps me and dp unwind when we're going stir crazy with our lo, and our flat is also miniscule.

total- a w*nker is a w*nker. The substances they ingest (in my father's case, gin, neat, a bottle a day between 1971 and 1990) may have little to do with the way they subsequently behave. Although obviously the gin did not help my father's already morose and violent disposition, drinking that much did not cause him to be psychologically and physically abusive. He was already like that.

It's like debates about knife crime. We could ban every single damned knife on the planet, but if someone wants to stab someone badly enough, they will find the tool.

Imo, the drink/drug of choice is a just a tool.

bella- heroin/ coke are imo far more a way of life than a habit. They are also all-consuming and have very well-documented side-effects. The consensus seems to be that even though cannabis may send some people into a psychotic downward spiral (especially skunk I believe), it does not cause people to be violent towards or detached from their children in the same as heroin and crack do. Nor is it so all-consuming that nothing else matters to the person taking it.

Frankly, if someone has to have a substance and to hell with the consequences, then they and their children have a big problem. Doesn't matter whether it's heroin, drink or 2 pair a week shoe habit which you can't afford.

I think that you need to get some professional advice. Why don't you make an anonymous call to the NSPCC to discuss this. You don't need to give them any names or addresses but will be able to find out more about the level of risk. SS will not take children away from their parents simply for substance misuse. In the cases where children are removed it is because they are experiencing or at risk of 'significan harm'. This may or most likely will not be the case here.