to be worried about the way someone else is bringing up their dc?

[tillytally]

I'm not sure if I should just butt out and forget it.

But i am worried about the dc of one of our employees.

They have 2 dc, one 2 1/2 the other only a few months old. I know they love the dc and in all other respects look after the kids well, they are clean well fed etc etc. They are young so have done things differantly to me, but nothing that jepordises the dc.

There is however one thing that really worries me. That is the fact that they both smoke a lot of cannabis. By a lot I mean most days. They are struggling financially which means the kids must go without some things to fund this, but more importantly those poor childrens health.

They live in a one bedroom flat so when they are smoking this they cannot be away from the fumes. In most cases there are others there smoking it as well.

What do i do AIBU and just butt out, or should I report this to someone? I am torn and dont know what to do.

I would hate someone interfearing with my life, but at the same time i wouldnt put my children in that environment.

lol eeewah!

less fighting more loving is required on MN. Pass the pipe round ladies.

Actually, tilly, can I congratulate you on managing to start what could be quite a contentious thread and managing to come across not as a complete knob, but actually as a rather caring and kind person.

Right, where's Cod? I fancy a proper fight...

thankyou everyone for your advice. In a strange way I am actually relieved.
It is a weight off my shoulders to know they are doing no more harm if not less than my mum smoking 40 a day when we were kids.

I think it is best if I just keep helping them however i can, subs when they need it, typing up letters to the council and helping them fill in all the forms.

Will have a serious think about a bonus scheme. We have been toying with one for a while, but some employees are worried how it will affect their benefits if they get more cash. So vouchers may work and not appear patronising. I know this wont stop them buying drugs, but it will help with a few of the basics, its up to them if the freed up cash is spent on drugs or paying of loans to get themseleves sorted.

I have never smoked or done drugs but I have been in the situation of being very poor (luckily before i had children to worry about) I just hate to think of others struggling like this.

Yeah I'm surprised it did'nt kick off. Credit to you Tilly. Also think the string em up PC lot must be busy this afternoon at an organic convention or something.

i think you should mention it to them first and say you think it is an appalling thing to do. if they continue you should say you are thinking of calling social services. Tell them about all the people who have suffered appalling psychological disorders (including myself) from cannabis fumes. Remind them about the basic fact of lung cancer from passive smoking. Who cares if people think you are interfering, the dcs right to grow up healthy and well adjusted outweighs any 'right' their parents have (or don't have according to English law) to smoke cannabis with or without their children present.

ooooh...

oh dear it seems i'm the 'pc brigade' for this afternoon. please go easy on me, it's just something i feel strongly about because of personal experience, i don't want to start a fight.

Message withdrawn

Spoke too soon

erm so parents have a right to smoke cannabis around toddlers? i didn't know that.

Yes, to echo others, the OP comes across very well on what is a tricky subject and as someone who is clearly trying to do the right thing by the family. Obviously, it's not an ideal situation (I'd be much more concerned about the effects of second hand smoke than cannabis) but I'd also echo the feeling that social services certainly shouldn't be involved.

Message withdrawn

ok whatever. i really can't be bothered. i have my opinion, you have yours. i shall leave it at that.

Totalmisfit, what's your story then?

Second-hand cannabis smoke caused you to suffer a psycholigical illness?

My brother has a pyschological illness which I'm sure isn't made any better by the vast amounts of cannabis he smokes, but I wouldn't put it down to passive smoking at all.

I dont think anyone said that it was the right thing to do. Just not to report the parents for doing it. The family are looking for larger accommodation so there will be not need for them to do it around the toddlers.

I think that perhaps SS should be involved because these substances are illegal for a reason, how bad would it be if one of the children was injured or killed and you knew you hadnt spoken out?

Message withdrawn

SS do not take children away from parents that smoke cannibis, drink alchohol or do stronger drugs. If they did, well imagine.

Message withdrawn

Message withdrawn

im not saying the drugs would kill the children but it impairs your abilities, you aould all agree it unreasonable to drive stoned? then surely leaving a parent in charge of a small baby stoned isnt ideal?

ok - i just have one more thing to say and then you can all pile in and i really will go.

if abuse is something done deliberately that can cause physical and or pyschological harm either now or in the future then i would personally class forcing young children and babies to inhale an illegal substance as abuse.

ok, now i'm going...

Message withdrawn

too many spliffs mellowma?