To not give up my Playmobil and cut cousins hands off if she tries to take it?

she needs*

It’s okay to say “please stop asking”!

I had to say this to a ‘friend’ who kept asking over and over to have some of my husband’s possessions after he died. Even though I have no interest in using them I just wasn’t ready to think about letting them go. It felt really uncomfortable to say that to him at the time but it worked, thankfully he never asked again! And I’d have no qualms about saying that to someone else now.

My response to this Any more thoughts over the Playmobile? DC is beside herself with excitement ay the thought of having some of yours! would be:

"Why does she think she is having some of mine? I repeatedly told you "no", so why you think I would is beyond me".

Is yours the old retro sort without much detail to it? Maybe stress that so it won't look so appealing.

I absolutely love Playmobil, and I totally know where you're coming from. However my sister kept all hers boxed up and wouldn't let me have it when we were kids so I can see where your niece is coming from too! It's not fulfilling it's destiny right now, its spirit is dying! I would either get it out and make cute scenes/play with it yourself, or pass it on.

I get you OP ,I have Brio bought by my Grandad for my DD when she was small.Do not want to "pass it over" to anyone TBH .Hang on to it for grim death!

Just tell her that you wouldn’t let your own children play with it, so there’s no reason to expect that you’d let anyone else play with it. Tell her it’s going to go to auction.

you need to move on from your Playmobil

Why?

What are you keeping it for? What will you eventually do with it? DH hoards all kinds of shite and I've told him I'll hoof straight into a skip 5 minutes after he dies. I guess I don't understand the point. Toys like playmobil should be played with, enjoyed and passed on. It helps reduce the amount of plastic people buy.

My god you would have to have a brass neck to ask a mans widow for some of his possessions , that really is a bare faced cheek ! 😮

I get it yours and you have the final say, but the love you have for it was nurtured by people around you providing you with the playmobil, so why won't you do the same for your cousins little girl? If she is a mini version of yourself as you said then surely she will cherish and look after the playmobil as well as you have?

You may get responses saying share it purely because it’s a toy. But I think it doesn’t matter what it is. the fact you have a collection of something you love is fine, and you should not have to share it.

Your cousin sounds very pushy and rude, so YANBU to get firmer and say you want to close down the requests as it’s not something you want to happen.

@Qantaqa you have to be clear with your CFC

no cousin, the playmobile isn’t going anywhere and you are going to have to explain to your daughter why she can’t just demand other poeples things

if you’ve told her she can have it, suggest you get on to eBay and buy some or tell her that you were wrong for promising her something that didn’t belong to you.

Because she doesn't want to.

I’m not letting it go so stop asking.
Shes got a cheek.

Even if she thinks you're being weird, it's incredibly rude of her to keep asking! I'd have a hard time keeping it polite with the repeated prodding, but the jokey responses are probably best. Leaving it to her in your will, for example.

She needs to stop making things awkward by laying on the guilt with her child's excitement over something you never offered.

I'd tell her straight it's not for sale/ use/ giveaway, it's precious to you and that's the end of it. If she's desperate I'm sure there's plenty on ebay or Facebook or vinted.

@bizzywiththefizzy I know, right?! I was just thinking how bad it sounds as I typed it out - this happened years ago before I’d had a lot of therapy (my therapist helped me find my words - ‘please stop asking’), and I actually agonised for ages about whether I was being mean not wanting to give him the stuff. But I look back and think OMG - some people are just bloody cheeky and they can fuck the fuck off!

Tell her she can have it when hell freezes over, and until then you won't discuss it further. After that do not enter into any discussion, just change the subject.

I am guessing your playability is on a par as a childhood teddy. I still absolutely hate the fact my adult but totally adored DD has mine, and won't give it back 😤

YANBU. It's yours.

My mum let my much younger cousins have my Sylvanian Families. I had a house, bakery etc... and had made loads of cakes and sandwiches from Fimo modelling clay.

Let's just say what came back was practically bald Sylvanians and nearly all the accessories missing. 😡

I think you're slightly U for not letting the DC play with it, because I would as long as I was present. You just need to teach them how to play carefully. When I was a child I remember my auntie bringing out her children's toys for me to play with but explaining that they are very old and precious so these are toys that you have to play very carefully and respectfully with. I'd imagine a six year old (and definitely 7/8 yr olds) should be able to do that.

But I totally get the wanting to keep it yourself forever and not actually give it away. I have what I call an 'irreplaceables box' which is filled with photo albums, books, magazines, paintings, stuff from childhood, school books, birthday cards etc etc and that includes childhood books, toys and games that I would never give away to anyone else or 'pass down' to another child. If anyone asked i would just say no and wouldn't mind telling them that they're my special things that hold childhood memories, why would I give them away your?

It's your right to keep the playmobil because its yours and your cousin is being rude to keep pushing it. Also she's coming across as a bit cheap because it sounds like she doesn't want to spend her own money buying more playmobil sets for her DD.

You need to be a lot clearer instead of making up excuses. Just say that your set is special to you and you want to keep it, sorry. Simple.

I appreciate this is probably not the same but when I was born I was gifted a toy rabbit so he’s as old as me. I played with it and slept all my childhood. Poor bloke has no more colour left in his fur and his head is barely attached but I’m still keeping him in my room. Not proudly displayed but he’s there.
When my cousins kids were younger and came to our place I always ALWAYS put the rabbit somewhere where they can’t and won’t see it. I’m so protective over it I hated the thought that they will play with it, possibly yank the head off or even worse take it home with them. It’s mine. It’s sentimental and no you’re not allowed to play with it sorry.

My Pelham puppets were trashed.

They were so precious that I could hardly play with them myself. They were in perfect condition.

YANBU

This would infuriate me.

it's yours.

I think as she is being cheeky and will only get a blunt message that you should say that you won't be giving any away and to please stop asking because you won't change your mind. End of conversation.

Stick to your guns @Qantaqa

@SnuggleBuggleBoo

It's not fulfilling it's destiny right now, its spirit is dying! I would either get it out and make cute scenes/play with it yourself, or pass it on.

THIS

Why are you keeping it?
Maybe it gave you great joy as a child.
But time has moved on.
It's not doing that now.
Let your niece have it and feel the joy in her joy.