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AIBU?

To not give up my Playmobil and cut cousins hands off if she tries to take it?

378 replies

Qantaqa · 19/03/2023 13:15

Ok Ok .. the last part is possibly U....

I have an extensive collection of playmobil which has been boxed up for many years. I briefly got it out 10 years ago when my DSs were 7/8ish but after a particularly traumatising incident where they broke some I boxed it all back up and put it away and never got it back out. I say this to show that my attachment to it is frankly ridiculous.

My cousins daughter is 6. She is in many ways an mini version of me at that age and I adore her and obviously indulge her and am silly with her in ways her parents can't be. I (obviously) have been buying her Playmobil for birthdays and Xmas which she loves. My collection came up in a discussion at a birthday meal recently and cousins daughter asked if she could come over and play. I said it was boxed away and that was it.

Except it isn't. Cousin has asked about "getting some sets for her DC since I aren't using it". I've politely said various versions of no with excuses, but this morning I had this message,

Hey Q. Any more thoughts over the Playmobile? DC is beside herself with excitement ay the thought of having some of yours! We are out for Mothers Day this afternoon but I'll give you a bell later. xx

Clearly I need a stronger "No over my dead body" response but having moaned mentioned this to DM at lunch she thinks IABU to not "pass it down".

DB thinks I should just go buy a box off Facebook and hand that over which I am considering.

So AIBU to want to keep my Playmobil?

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

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SnarkyBag · 19/03/2023 13:35

Poor gnu ☹️

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ancientgran · 19/03/2023 13:36

I sort of get it, my husband has a similar fixation and it wasn't even his playmobil , it was our sons and he couldn't care less but DH is very protective of it.

I think buying an old set off ebay is a good idea, sounds like you have a good relationship with the little girl and it sounds like having something of yours is important to her so unless old playmobil is now an expensive collectors item I'd go with that. A charity shop might have some, we did buy a "replica" from a charity shop so DGS could play with it without DH suffering trauma. Of course you don't have to, it is yours and she has no right to it.

Maybe you and my DH could open a PlaymobilAnonymous club for fellow fanatics?

Good luck.

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VivaciousRadish · 19/03/2023 13:36

I find some of these responses quite weird.

These sets are something that @Qantaqa loves, and didn’t even want her own children to play with. Maybe when her kids have left home she’s going to have it all set up in a spare room. Who knows.

If she had jewellery that was precious to her no one would think it’s odd that she wouldn’t give it away, if she didn’t wear it. These are @Qantaqas precious things.

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Sceptre86 · 19/03/2023 13:37

I'd just say no and tell her to stop being a CF. As for the nieve just tell her that some belongings are so precious they don't need to be shared. My dd up 6 and she'd understand.

On the flip side you might enjoy playing with the playmobil with her so really it is down to you.

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ancientgran · 19/03/2023 13:39

Qantaqa · 19/03/2023 13:34

See she already knows I am irrationally attached to it. Its been a bit of a long standing family joke that I would throw the DCs out before I threw the Playmobil out...

I used to have it on display in the spare room until I was 20ish. I then had the DSs and it got put away. I always intended to give it the DSs to play with and as I said I got it out when they were younger but I was just so on edge all the time watching them play with it and then when DS2 broke the leg of the Gnu I actually burst into tears and packed it all way. Its not rational I know. I tell myself that my GC can have it all but the joke in the family is it might have to be Great GC as I'll be dead before anyone is allowed to touch it!

If I had a room to put it out and display it in I would but the spare room is currently a Gym for the DSs.

Could she be joking if she knows how unlikely it is that you'd let her DD have it?

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NumericalBlock · 19/03/2023 13:40

Yanbu. My mum got rid of most of my pride and joy toys (beanie babies and my little ponies, big collections of both, gone despite the house literally having rooms full top to bottom of other "stuff" but I digress) and I really wish she hadn't! Irrational but so be it!

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ClarificationNeeded · 19/03/2023 13:40

Yeah be firm with her. Can I come and play though? I'll bring mine. I'm very careful.

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jay55 · 19/03/2023 13:40

Your cousin can buy her a set off eBay herself. You don't need to spend money to say no.

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ConsuelaHammock · 19/03/2023 13:41

Please don’t feel pressured to give anything you treasure away m. I’d reply with a ‘ hi there , I really would prefer to keep my play mobile, I’m sure dn will enjoy collecting her own sets over the years. Have a lovely Mother’s Day !

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cartagenagina · 19/03/2023 13:41

I think you have to consider this from the perspective of the playmobil too.

Would they be happier being played with, or being shut up in a box, never seeing the light of day until you die OP?

Or do you think the stress of going the same way as gnu would mean they prefer to stay where they are?

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Qantaqa · 19/03/2023 13:42

@Hellodarknessmyoldpal God don't say that!!

OP posts:
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ancientgran · 19/03/2023 13:42

I just had a look on ebay, just wondered if there was a market for it. Oh my, I must hope DH never looks at my search history, he'll fill the house with it.

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Boomboom22 · 19/03/2023 13:44

Yes I def think consideration should be given to the playmobil as above. Do you trust your kids to care for it if you leave it in the attic now, should you test your niece on how she handles her own playmobil? Perhaps she would have had more respect for gnu?

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LemonJuiceFromConcentrate · 19/03/2023 13:44

YANBU. Keep reiterating that it has sentimental value and you won't be donating it.

She shouldn't be getting her little daughter all excited about something that you've already explained you don't want to give away! So manipulative!

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SnarkyBag · 19/03/2023 13:47

Or you could go with a jokey response
”ha ha stop it it’s giving me palpitations just thinking about giving it away!”

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Qantaqa · 19/03/2023 13:51

I don't think she's joking. She wonders why I am being so odd. I quite happily gave away other things and oddly my DCs playmobile. It fills the whole cupboard under the stairs and spills out into wardrobes so there is oodles of it and I do periodically chunter about that I should stop being so silly and let it go but that I can't. There is a financial value to it and I am sure she would pay as she The implication is she'd be doing me a favour to get it gone but to somewhere where I know its appreciated even more because it was "mine" and with someone I love.

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GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 19/03/2023 13:51

Stop being passive aggressive or 'polite' about it and just say no, sorry, I don't want to give it away. And by the way, I have bought her plenty of it already.

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Riverlee · 19/03/2023 13:54

I get where you are coming from. I have stuff in the loft which is precious to me.

This is one of those situations whereby you are caught in the middle and are cast as the bad guy if you don’t comply, even though you’ve not done anything wrong.

Keep reiterating that it’s not being played with and your dn will not be playing with it. If Dn gets upset, that’s not your fault but her mums for promising it to her. You could even give the gnu situation as an example why if pressed for a reason.

incidently, is cousin expecting you to give the Playmobil to dn, or allow her to play with it at your house?

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viques · 19/03/2023 13:54

Tell her you will put a codicil in your will so niece gets the play Mobil sets and the diamonds go to the charity shop.

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BurntOutGirl · 19/03/2023 13:55

Qantaqa · 19/03/2023 13:51

I don't think she's joking. She wonders why I am being so odd. I quite happily gave away other things and oddly my DCs playmobile. It fills the whole cupboard under the stairs and spills out into wardrobes so there is oodles of it and I do periodically chunter about that I should stop being so silly and let it go but that I can't. There is a financial value to it and I am sure she would pay as she The implication is she'd be doing me a favour to get it gone but to somewhere where I know its appreciated even more because it was "mine" and with someone I love.

Have you looked at toy museums as they might be grateful for some pieces

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Qantaqa · 19/03/2023 13:55

Haha oh God. Don't. There was a time after Toy Story where I couldn't throw anything away and an even longer time after where I felt sick doing so (especially with Woody and Buzz!)

I did manage to repair Gnu but he has never been the same and is now permanently Wonky. DM offered to buy a replacement Gnu at the time but she missed the point that its "that" Gnu that I am attached to.

I highly suspect that in the event of my death my DCs would just donate it somewhere.

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GandhiDeclaredWarOnYou · 19/03/2023 13:57

Just be up front with her - “I barely let my own kids play with it. My Playmobil is not leaving the house, I am incredibly fond of it.”

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Mincedpies · 19/03/2023 13:58

Some of these replies are bonkers!

OP you are not irrational, odd or weird and under no circumstances do you need to offer a compromise!

The playmobil is yours and you don’t want it played with. Whether you keep it in the attic, bury it in the cellar or build a shrine to it in a spare room is nobody’s business but yours. So just say no - no excuses, no explanation, just a firm no!

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Chamomileteaplease · 19/03/2023 13:59

Please let us know what you end up texting back to your cousin!!

she is trying to emotionally blackmail you - how awful that she has hyped up her own daughter 😞.

Your cousin obviously finds it hard to hear the word no, but as others have said, it is within your right to keep your own stuff even if it doesn't make sense.

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Boogismyname · 19/03/2023 13:59

Ishefuckingkiddingme · 19/03/2023 13:18

You’re being irrational but you’re allowed to be irrational, it’s yours. It’s not hers, she’s not entitled to you. You have no logical reason for not letting her play with it but you don’t need to justify yourself with logic. If I were you, I’d be honest and say you’re irrationally and illogically attached to it and don’t want to risk it getting broken.

My thoughts. I have very loved baby doll that I dodon'want played with for the same reason.

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