Mumsnet Logo
My feed

to access all these features


To not give up my Playmobil and cut cousins hands off if she tries to take it?

378 replies

Qantaqa · 19/03/2023 13:15

Ok Ok .. the last part is possibly U....

I have an extensive collection of playmobil which has been boxed up for many years. I briefly got it out 10 years ago when my DSs were 7/8ish but after a particularly traumatising incident where they broke some I boxed it all back up and put it away and never got it back out. I say this to show that my attachment to it is frankly ridiculous.

My cousins daughter is 6. She is in many ways an mini version of me at that age and I adore her and obviously indulge her and am silly with her in ways her parents can't be. I (obviously) have been buying her Playmobil for birthdays and Xmas which she loves. My collection came up in a discussion at a birthday meal recently and cousins daughter asked if she could come over and play. I said it was boxed away and that was it.

Except it isn't. Cousin has asked about "getting some sets for her DC since I aren't using it". I've politely said various versions of no with excuses, but this morning I had this message,

Hey Q. Any more thoughts over the Playmobile? DC is beside herself with excitement ay the thought of having some of yours! We are out for Mothers Day this afternoon but I'll give you a bell later. xx

Clearly I need a stronger "No over my dead body" response but having moaned mentioned this to DM at lunch she thinks IABU to not "pass it down".

DB thinks I should just go buy a box off Facebook and hand that over which I am considering.

So AIBU to want to keep my Playmobil?

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?


You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

ifIwerenotanandroid · 19/03/2023 15:04

Qantaqa · 19/03/2023 15:00

I'm currently thinking of sending a message along the lines of

"Ha. Good one. We all know that it will only be leaving over my cold dead body and even then I'll probably be back haunting whoever ends up with it! Sorry DC is going to be disappointed at not having mine but if you want to get some second hand off Ebay I'm more than happy to come over and play with it with her!

Yes to this. Your cousin sounds unbelievably grabby. The kid (however nice she is) already has some, it's still available for sale & you have your own cherished collection. There's no reason why her mother can't buy her anything she wants.

I had a much-loved girl in the family, to whom I gave new things as gifts, as well as cherished things. But it was always my choice, & there were times when she wanted something & didn't get it. That's life.


Purplestorm83 · 19/03/2023 15:05

I have a large collection of Lego, some of which I did give to a younger relative but most I still have. My daughters play with some of it but they are absolutely not allowed to mix it with their own collection and some of it I keep high up so they can’t reach it lol. Just say no to your cousin, say it has sentimental value to you and you are not giving it away or selling it at the moment.


Twinsforthewin · 19/03/2023 15:06

YANBU. I have an 80s toy collection and it's safely packed away while my children are small, except for bits I don't mind them playing with.

Send your cousin an article about MLP collectors or AFOL (adult fans of Lego) and tell her, this is like my collection, you wouldn't expect me to share my Royal Doulton/Roman coins/whatever so stop asking. It absolutely pisses me off when people don't understand it's MY toy collection, I knew my husband was keeper when he got me a special cabinet for them.

IF you want to be nice and charming and come out on top, buy your cousin's girl a nice new set (the princess ones are 🔥🔥🔥 loads of lovely clip on ballgowns, the gymkhana stuff is classic too) and say very grandly, this is so you can start your own collection, ask mummy and daddy for the castle next. 😜

And treat yourself to some of the bonkers German history collectible sets 👍


NoWayRose · 19/03/2023 15:06

YNBU- of course you’re allowed to have your own hobbies/stuff. As special interests go, it’s hardly harmful

The way you’ve described how your family knows about how attached you are, it seems like they deem your hobby weird and are trolling you about it.


Nudity · 19/03/2023 15:08

I also have a big playmo collection and even if I ever have grandkids they aren’t getting their hands on it. 😂


LennyThePenny · 19/03/2023 15:11

YANBU @Qantaqa I also have a mad collection supermarket, victorian house, train set and palace with ALL the fittings plus more ShockBlush I love it and am not ready to part with it yet. The victorian house alone was £500 with all the roomsets.


LennyThePenny · 19/03/2023 15:12

We used to set the train set up on the floor then the playmobil people could take the train to the supermarket before having a day out at the palace & going home again... 😂


Twinsforthewin · 19/03/2023 15:12

Qantaqa · 19/03/2023 13:34

See she already knows I am irrationally attached to it. Its been a bit of a long standing family joke that I would throw the DCs out before I threw the Playmobil out...

I used to have it on display in the spare room until I was 20ish. I then had the DSs and it got put away. I always intended to give it the DSs to play with and as I said I got it out when they were younger but I was just so on edge all the time watching them play with it and then when DS2 broke the leg of the Gnu I actually burst into tears and packed it all way. Its not rational I know. I tell myself that my GC can have it all but the joke in the family is it might have to be Great GC as I'll be dead before anyone is allowed to touch it!

If I had a room to put it out and display it in I would but the spare room is currently a Gym for the DSs.

Treat yourself to one of these gems


toomuchlaundry · 19/03/2023 15:12

I can understand you not wanting to pass it on, but to not let your DC play with it, or the little girl when she comes over seems strange. It doesn't even sound as if you have it displayed anywhere, so what is the point.

MIL had kept some of DH and his brother's lego, she passed it to us when we had DC (only grandchildren in the family) We added to the collection, so much so we could have built a new house out of lego! DC played with all the lego. I can't imagine giving it away now DC don't play with it, but if we had family children visiting I can imagine letting them play with it, and I suppose our plan will be to pass to grandchildren (or play with it ourselves when DC have left home!)


Qantaqa · 19/03/2023 15:12

Tbf to cousin she's not usually a CF and I'm sure she would pay if I asked. What she cannot understand - what no-one can understand - is that I don't get any joy from watching other people play with it - I just get anxious and stressed. Its why it got put away from my own DSs and just the thought of getting it out and letting other people play with is has my stomach twisting.

The waters are muddied I guess because I gave DSs Playmobil away about 5/6 years away and it seems difficult for her to understand why I was happy to gift that but not the other.

I'm sure she'll call so ill just laugh it off and send some links to some on ebay .. although now I am down the rabbit hole of all the different ones I could buy myself. There is a haunted Victorian house which is amazing!!

OP posts:

Justalittlebitduckling · 19/03/2023 15:14

You’ve said no. She’s being very pushy. Especially rude to use her child’s alleged excitement in that way.


WolfieWolfie · 19/03/2023 15:15

What’s the point in having all this stuff sat in a box?


YouSoundLovely · 19/03/2023 15:16

Your cousin's embarrassing herself with the pushing. That's totally out of order. And horribly manipulative of her to have practically promised it to her daughter on your behalf.

I do admit to being a little bit shocked that you 'burst into tears' and took it all away from your young children when they broke one thing - that's something they probably remember, and not in a good way. And I'm intrigued at what's behind you keeping it all boxed away - what else (apart from the Playmobil) you're protecting. It's a bit like those people who keep lovely things 'for best' and can never bear to use them so never get any enjoyment out of them. I did have a things-before-people upbringing, which is probably colouring my view of this, but there is something sad about not spreading the joy of things like these.


hookiewookie29 · 19/03/2023 15:17

Some people don't understand why adults have toy collections.
My son is 25 and has a lot of Lego sets. Some of them were several hundred pounds each. There's no way on this earth that he'd let anyone play with it!


YouSoundLovely · 19/03/2023 15:19

X posts. Your anxiety at the thought of other people playing with it sounds quite extreme, and I think there's something else behind this, that it might help you to try and find out.


Katrinawaves · 19/03/2023 15:20

I’d send the message you have drafted but I would add a final para to it which says “In all seriousness, do not ask me about this again”. Then you have responded in a pleasant manner which lets everyone save face, but also inserted a little bit of firmness to stop her keeping pushing about this.


IhearyouClemFandango · 19/03/2023 15:20

WolfieWolfie · 19/03/2023 15:15

What’s the point in having all this stuff sat in a box?

Doesn't matter if other people don't get it, it doesn't belong to them!


Deathraystare · 19/03/2023 15:22

@Qantaqa @MzHz
no cousin, the playmobile isn’t going anywhere and you are going to have to explain to your daughter why she can’t just demand other poeples things
if you’ve told her she can have it, suggest you get on to eBay and buy some or tell her that you were wrong for promising her something that didn’t belong to you.

Absolutely! This by the bucketful! People are always more generous with other people's things! Cheeky person. Even if i wasn't that close to the stuff I would not give it on principle!!!


Qantaqa · 19/03/2023 15:22

@LennyThePenny Oh the train. Out local Toys R Us had a Playmobil train that went round on a track just above the top racking. I used to race round the store after it!

One Christmas I was disappointed as after opening presents I hadn't received any Playmobil other than a woman and pram for the Victorian House. Only to discover when I went into the play room that actually I had got the passenger train set and dad had build a track like that just for me table, up a long incline over the door and window and back down on to the table!

OP posts:

ColdHandsHotHead · 19/03/2023 15:23

This is absolute cheekyfuckery. What makes them think their daughter has the right to someting of yours?


ColdHandsHotHead · 19/03/2023 15:25

WolfieWolfie · 19/03/2023 15:15

What’s the point in having all this stuff sat in a box?

I've got piles of my grandmother's china sat in a cupboard. It almost never gets used because I love it so much. The OP's Playmobil is the same to her: precious. Everyone has something they value that they want to keep safe.


whumpthereitis · 19/03/2023 15:25

WolfieWolfie · 19/03/2023 15:15

What’s the point in having all this stuff sat in a box?

Because that’s where OP wants it, and is happy for it to be. There doesn’t need to be a deeper point than that one.


AgathaMystery · 19/03/2023 15:26

I think…. I think it’s a bit weird. Not gonna lie.

It’s a bit sad that it’s better for it to sit in boxes than ever be used again. I couldn’t have something just stored away like that.

disclaimer: one of my parents is a hoarder so I don’t allow any ‘stuff’ that isn’t used. We all have our issues I guess.


Whatisthisanyidea · 19/03/2023 15:26

What she cannot understand - what no-one can understand - is that I don't get any joy from watching other people play with it - I just get anxious and stressed

Well maybe look at it from cousins POV - her 6 year old is excited and the thought of playing with you - she may well be nagging her mum constantly to come over and play and cousin is just messaging from there - Maybe cousin has told 6 year old over and over that you don’t let anyone play and the 6 year old knows she’s special to you.

Weve all been there with kids nagging.


TaunterOfWomenInGeneralSaysSayonarastu · 19/03/2023 15:31

YouSoundLovely · 19/03/2023 15:19

X posts. Your anxiety at the thought of other people playing with it sounds quite extreme, and I think there's something else behind this, that it might help you to try and find out.


Or she can just be left in peace to deal with her own possessions in any way she chooses.

A man in a similar situation wouldn't have PP lining up to say he has to give away his beloved historic tool collection or train sets just because his cousin demanded it.

Or have his collector-instincts queried & dismissed.
Yet another thread demonstrating how some women live to police other women's choices & tell them to kowtow to CF's or be considered - the horror! - unconventional.

Similar threads
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Sign up to continue reading

Mumsnet's better when you're logged in. You can customise your experience and access way more features like messaging, watch and hide threads, voting and much more.

Already signed up?