To not give up my Playmobil and cut cousins hands off if she tries to take it?

Yes to this. Your cousin sounds unbelievably grabby. The kid (however nice she is) already has some, it's still available for sale & you have your own cherished collection. There's no reason why her mother can't buy her anything she wants.

I had a much-loved girl in the family, to whom I gave new things as gifts, as well as cherished things. But it was always my choice, & there were times when she wanted something & didn't get it. That's life.

I have a large collection of Lego, some of which I did give to a younger relative but most I still have. My daughters play with some of it but they are absolutely not allowed to mix it with their own collection and some of it I keep high up so they can’t reach it lol. Just say no to your cousin, say it has sentimental value to you and you are not giving it away or selling it at the moment.

YANBU. I have an 80s toy collection and it's safely packed away while my children are small, except for bits I don't mind them playing with.

Send your cousin an article about MLP collectors or AFOL (adult fans of Lego) and tell her, this is like my collection, you wouldn't expect me to share my Royal Doulton/Roman coins/whatever so stop asking. It absolutely pisses me off when people don't understand it's MY toy collection, I knew my husband was keeper when he got me a special cabinet for them.

IF you want to be nice and charming and come out on top, buy your cousin's girl a nice new set (the princess ones are 🔥🔥🔥 loads of lovely clip on ballgowns, the gymkhana stuff is classic too) and say very grandly, this is so you can start your own collection, ask mummy and daddy for the castle next. 😜

And treat yourself to some of the bonkers German history collectible sets 👍

YNBU- of course you’re allowed to have your own hobbies/stuff. As special interests go, it’s hardly harmful

The way you’ve described how your family knows about how attached you are, it seems like they deem your hobby weird and are trolling you about it.

I also have a big playmo collection and even if I ever have grandkids they aren’t getting their hands on it. 😂

YANBU @Qantaqa I also have a mad collection supermarket, victorian house, train set and palace with ALL the fittings plus more I love it and am not ready to part with it yet. The victorian house alone was £500 with all the roomsets.

We used to set the train set up on the floor then the playmobil people could take the train to the supermarket before having a day out at the palace & going home again... 😂

Treat yourself to one of these gems twitter.com/onionweigher/status/1592371587122331648?s=20

I can understand you not wanting to pass it on, but to not let your DC play with it, or the little girl when she comes over seems strange. It doesn't even sound as if you have it displayed anywhere, so what is the point.

MIL had kept some of DH and his brother's lego, she passed it to us when we had DC (only grandchildren in the family) We added to the collection, so much so we could have built a new house out of lego! DC played with all the lego. I can't imagine giving it away now DC don't play with it, but if we had family children visiting I can imagine letting them play with it, and I suppose our plan will be to pass to grandchildren (or play with it ourselves when DC have left home!)

You’ve said no. She’s being very pushy. Especially rude to use her child’s alleged excitement in that way.

What’s the point in having all this stuff sat in a box?

Your cousin's embarrassing herself with the pushing. That's totally out of order. And horribly manipulative of her to have practically promised it to her daughter on your behalf.

I do admit to being a little bit shocked that you 'burst into tears' and took it all away from your young children when they broke one thing - that's something they probably remember, and not in a good way. And I'm intrigued at what's behind you keeping it all boxed away - what else (apart from the Playmobil) you're protecting. It's a bit like those people who keep lovely things 'for best' and can never bear to use them so never get any enjoyment out of them. I did have a things-before-people upbringing, which is probably colouring my view of this, but there is something sad about not spreading the joy of things like these.

Some people don't understand why adults have toy collections.
My son is 25 and has a lot of Lego sets. Some of them were several hundred pounds each. There's no way on this earth that he'd let anyone play with it!

X posts. Your anxiety at the thought of other people playing with it sounds quite extreme, and I think there's something else behind this, that it might help you to try and find out.

I’d send the message you have drafted but I would add a final para to it which says “In all seriousness, do not ask me about this again”. Then you have responded in a pleasant manner which lets everyone save face, but also inserted a little bit of firmness to stop her keeping pushing about this.

Doesn't matter if other people don't get it, it doesn't belong to them!

@Qantaqa @MzHz
no cousin, the playmobile isn’t going anywhere and you are going to have to explain to your daughter why she can’t just demand other poeples things
if you’ve told her she can have it, suggest you get on to eBay and buy some or tell her that you were wrong for promising her something that didn’t belong to you.


Absolutely! This by the bucketful! People are always more generous with other people's things! Cheeky person. Even if i wasn't that close to the stuff I would not give it on principle!!!

This is absolute cheekyfuckery. What makes them think their daughter has the right to someting of yours?

I've got piles of my grandmother's china sat in a cupboard. It almost never gets used because I love it so much. The OP's Playmobil is the same to her: precious. Everyone has something they value that they want to keep safe.

Because that’s where OP wants it, and is happy for it to be. There doesn’t need to be a deeper point than that one.

I think…. I think it’s a bit weird. Not gonna lie.

It’s a bit sad that it’s better for it to sit in boxes than ever be used again. I couldn’t have something just stored away like that.

disclaimer: one of my parents is a hoarder so I don’t allow any ‘stuff’ that isn’t used. We all have our issues I guess.

What she cannot understand - what no-one can understand - is that I don't get any joy from watching other people play with it - I just get anxious and stressed

Well maybe look at it from cousins POV - her 6 year old is excited and the thought of playing with you - she may well be nagging her mum constantly to come over and play and cousin is just messaging from there - Maybe cousin has told 6 year old over and over that you don’t let anyone play and the 6 year old knows she’s special to you.

Weve all been there with kids nagging.

😂

Or she can just be left in peace to deal with her own possessions in any way she chooses.

A man in a similar situation wouldn't have PP lining up to say he has to give away his beloved historic tool collection or train sets just because his cousin demanded it.

Or have his collector-instincts queried & dismissed.
Yet another thread demonstrating how some women live to police other women's choices & tell them to kowtow to CF's or be considered - the horror! - unconventional.