AIBU?
To not give up my Playmobil and cut cousins hands off if she tries to take it?
Qantaqa · 19/03/2023 13:15
Ok Ok .. the last part is possibly U....
I have an extensive collection of playmobil which has been boxed up for many years. I briefly got it out 10 years ago when my DSs were 7/8ish but after a particularly traumatising incident where they broke some I boxed it all back up and put it away and never got it back out. I say this to show that my attachment to it is frankly ridiculous.
My cousins daughter is 6. She is in many ways an mini version of me at that age and I adore her and obviously indulge her and am silly with her in ways her parents can't be. I (obviously) have been buying her Playmobil for birthdays and Xmas which she loves. My collection came up in a discussion at a birthday meal recently and cousins daughter asked if she could come over and play. I said it was boxed away and that was it.
Except it isn't. Cousin has asked about "getting some sets for her DC since I aren't using it". I've politely said various versions of no with excuses, but this morning I had this message,
Hey Q. Any more thoughts over the Playmobile? DC is beside herself with excitement ay the thought of having some of yours! We are out for Mothers Day this afternoon but I'll give you a bell later. xx
Clearly I need a stronger "No over my dead body" response but having moaned mentioned this to DM at lunch she thinks IABU to not "pass it down".
DB thinks I should just go buy a box off Facebook and hand that over which I am considering.
So AIBU to want to keep my Playmobil?
Am I being unreasonable?
AIBUYou have one vote. All votes are anonymous.
BellaJuno · 19/03/2023 14:19
It’s actually irrelevant what the items are, your cousin has no entitlement to having your stuff even if her daughter is “beside herself” with the thought of having it, she’s being really rude.
I’d reply “The only thought I’ve had is I wish you’d stop putting me in the awkward position of having to repeat myself in saying no. I have no intention on passing on my collection so please stop asking. If your DD wants to start her own collection, I’m more than happy to help her track down sets on eBay etc”.
Iquitforevermore · 19/03/2023 14:20
IMO it seems kind of sad that the collection sits there without ever being
played with. I am very much of the mindset toys are to be played with and enjoyed, or what is the point.
On the other hand, it isn't for me or anybody else to say. You have clearly stated that this collection is sentimental (just like maybe old photographs etc that I wouldn't want torn would be to me) therefore you have every right to protect them. It is YOUR collection that your enjoy and can do with as you see fit, and not anybody else's.
MinnieGirl · 19/03/2023 14:21
Your cousin is bang out of order. The Playmobil is your property, and no one gets to decide what to do with it apart from you.
I would txt back and say no way are you giving anything away or allowing anyone to play with it. That you have bought her daughter some sets and will continue to do so for birthday etc. but your collection is precious and will not be played with.
If people have a problem with that then I would jokingly question why they think your property is up for grabs.
If I had a collection like that I wouldn’t let anyone touch it either.
callthataspade · 19/03/2023 14:22
BellaJuno · 19/03/2023 14:19
It’s actually irrelevant what the items are, your cousin has no entitlement to having your stuff even if her daughter is “beside herself” with the thought of having it, she’s being really rude.
I’d reply “The only thought I’ve had is I wish you’d stop putting me in the awkward position of having to repeat myself in saying no. I have no intention on passing on my collection so please stop asking. If your DD wants to start her own collection, I’m more than happy to help her track down sets on eBay etc”.
This. All day long
Who cares how silly and irrational others find it.
It's yours. And this relentless pushing of boundaries is fucking rude.
(Sorry about the gnu...!)
MinnieGirl · 19/03/2023 14:24
AmyDudley · 19/03/2023 14:15
'Why did you hype DD up when you know she'll be disappointed? I'd already said I'm not giving mine away, so it was daft thing to do on your part. You can probably get reasonably priced sets on ebay if she wants some xx'
That is a great response.
LookItsMeAgain · 19/03/2023 14:24
I'll add to my earlier post that my DD is a Lego fan. She's bought and constructed a load of the Architecture range and her latest kit was the Space Shuttle. I wouldn't dream of offering it to her cousins as it's hers. I also have started to enjoy Lego and have made the succulents box for myself. Again it's mine & I'm not offering it to anyone.
I 100% understand where you are coming from @Qantaqa. Time to knock this on it's head.
TaunterOfWomenInGeneralSaysSayonarastu · 19/03/2023 14:28
Hey Q. Any more thoughts over the Playmobile? DC is beside herself with excitement ay the thought of having some of yours! We are out for Mothers Day this afternoon but I'll give you a bell later. xx
"What do you mean - any more thoughts? I've already said no, several times. Why have you told DN this is happening? Is it to guilt-trip me into giving in to you?"
MPY24 · 19/03/2023 14:28
Does the argument of toys are there to be played with only apply to toys? Most things people "collect" have original purposes. Whether that's coins, stamps, books, toys, jewelry, telescopes or whatever. But once people choose to collect something it just becomes a collection and it's then theirs to keep or save etc or whatever they want to do with it. You don't need to give them to anyone to use as the original purpose.
LilQueenie · 19/03/2023 14:31
YANBU Your cousin should not have told her child she would be getting the Playmobil and it looks like maybe she is using this as a way to coerce you on purpose.
Personally I do understand where you are coming from. I also have a few items that I wont part with from my childhood.
I gather that is a sentimental for you but I'm guessing old playmobil is also worth a few pounds. No way would I be letting the cousin near it.
NuffSaidSam · 19/03/2023 14:33
YANBU.
I definitely wouldn't give it to her. Just tell your cousin 'yes, I've thought about it and I'm planning to hold onto all of it until I die'. Can't be clearer than that.
But I do wonder whether your niece could be the playmate you're looking for? Maybe you could get some out and play with her at your house? She gets the excitement of seeing the special Playmobil and you get to actually use it/see it fulfil its purpose.
TaunterOfWomenInGeneralSaysSayonarastu · 19/03/2023 14:38
Holly60 · 19/03/2023 14:32
Be prepared for your cousin to think you are a bit odd though.
What on earth are you keeping it for? So that your children have more to do when they are clearing out your house after you are dead?
OP doesn't need to concern herself with what boundary-pushing, emotionally blackmailing CF's think of her.
ThinWomansBrain · 19/03/2023 14:38
"Imo it's a good life lesson demanding dc can't always get what they want..."
Except it's not the child, its the CF adult mother that keeps on about it - or egging the child on.
Just say that it's a collection, you didn't let your children play with it, so definitely a no for your cousin's child; if she's that desperate she can probably get hold of some on eBay.
TonTonMacoute · 19/03/2023 14:39
unclebuck · 19/03/2023 13:20
Reply "I didn't even let my own kids touch that - it's mine! " and take the piss of yourself whilst holding your line
This is an excellent reply.
You should add
^^
Perhaps stop mentioning it to your DD, as encouraging her is only going to cause her disappointment.
TaunterOfWomenInGeneralSaysSayonarastu · 19/03/2023 14:40
Holly60 · 19/03/2023 14:32
Be prepared for your cousin to think you are a bit odd though.
What on earth are you keeping it for? So that your children have more to do when they are clearing out your house after you are dead?
Damn right.
I have cleared my house of all possessions bar a picnic table & solitary stool.
I could drop dead anytime in the next 3 decades, & don't want to be the cause of any post-mortem bother.
Iquitforevermore · 19/03/2023 14:42
*'Does the argument of toys are there to be played with only apply to toys? Most things people "collect" have original purposes. Whether that's coins, stamps, books, toys, jewelry, telescopes or whatever."
Some purposes are expired I suppose such as the stamps. I'm not a collector so when things have current purposes i give them a way if i no longer use/need them. Op clearly is a collecter, and the playmobil is important to her; whe needs her collection therefore that is the purpose in itself. This is why she should very much keep it as it is sentimental.
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