To not give up my Playmobil and cut cousins hands off if she tries to take it?

[Qantaqa]

Ok Ok .. the last part is possibly U....

I have an extensive collection of playmobil which has been boxed up for many years. I briefly got it out 10 years ago when my DSs were 7/8ish but after a particularly traumatising incident where they broke some I boxed it all back up and put it away and never got it back out. I say this to show that my attachment to it is frankly ridiculous.

My cousins daughter is 6. She is in many ways an mini version of me at that age and I adore her and obviously indulge her and am silly with her in ways her parents can't be. I (obviously) have been buying her Playmobil for birthdays and Xmas which she loves. My collection came up in a discussion at a birthday meal recently and cousins daughter asked if she could come over and play. I said it was boxed away and that was it.

Except it isn't. Cousin has asked about "getting some sets for her DC since I aren't using it". I've politely said various versions of no with excuses, but this morning I had this message,

Hey Q. Any more thoughts over the Playmobile? DC is beside herself with excitement ay the thought of having some of yours! We are out for Mothers Day this afternoon but I'll give you a bell later. xx

Clearly I need a stronger "No over my dead body" response but having moaned mentioned this to DM at lunch she thinks IABU to not "pass it down".

DB thinks I should just go buy a box off Facebook and hand that over which I am considering.

So AIBU to want to keep my Playmobil?

[JudgeRudy]

@Stewball01
I'd be very blunt. I'd message her in such a way as to get 2 points across.Firstly - its not happening Secondly - cousin will be upset and its your fault.
Say l can't believe you've told cousin that when I distinctly said NO, it's not happening. Why would you do that to her. She's gonna be so hurt when you tell her you've made a big mistake.

Not wonderful at all, but yes, let her know. The mum has fucked up big time! She has indeed hurt her child. She probably knows this now, but in case she doesn't there it is. It also quite rightly shows that OP is not going to be emotionally manipulated and takes no responsibility for the mums mistake.......or I guess a simple no could do with no explanation but communication seems key here so after thought and consideration lm still happy with my suggestion (or words to that effect).
Which bit did you object to and how do you think they should have responded?

[Stewball01]

@JudgeRudy
Wonderful. Let her know she's fucked up with dc.who is a little girl and trusts her mum wouldn't hurt her.

[Stewball01]

YANBU. I am 78 and I still have my doll's cot. My dd played with it but I didn't pass it to my dgd as I knew I'd not get it back. DiL would have passed it to her sisters. They're not my family.
I quite understand you. Either the Will comment which is very good or be tough and say 'no again' I told you no once. That's enough. Good luck.

[AppleandSpice]

@GhoulWithADragonTattoo

I would lend it to the little girl but ask her to keep yours separate. You won't have to actually watch her like did for your own kids. She will probably grow of it fairly soon.

The reason op has it boxed up is because Firstly she doesn’t currently have anywhere to display it and secondly she doesn’t want it being played with as there is huge potential of it being lost and broken. So with that in mind, why would she ‘lend’ it to her niece?

or is it a case of, if the op can’t see it being played with then it will come back in immaculate condition? I highly doubt it.

These are vintage sets, the op wants to keep, nobody is entitled to have or even borrow them. There’s a difference between ‘just toys’ and a collection.

[GhoulWithADragonTattoo]

I would lend it to the little girl but ask her to keep yours separate. You won't have to actually watch her like did for your own kids. She will probably grow of it fairly soon.

[snitzelvoncrumb]

@Qantaqa

@watcherintherye I did manage to save him yes. Hes got a permalimp and would defo be the first picked off by predators but I'll make sure when he comes back out he's in a safe lion proof enclosure :)

My vague plan has been to get them back out if when the DSs leave and play with display them. I'd be fine with older people playing with them .. its youngish kids that give me the heebie jeebies so those wanting to come play there is an open invitation. Hopefully we can get @SoMuchToBits round to set us up holiday appropriate sets ;)

I actually off the back off this asked the DSs what they would do with it when I died - DS1 said he's going to leave it in a cupboard and tell his children never to touch it, and then tell them to tell their kids the same, and them theirs and so on and so on forever...... DS2 said he'd not thought about it but he likes DS1s idea.

It sounds like it’s sorted! You don’t have to give away your toys. I have a cabbage patch kid I love. I would never give Lucy away.

[myfaceismyown]

My DH has a particularly rare sci-fi book he bought in a charity shop for a couple of quid over 20 years ago. In sci-fi circles it is incredibly rare and ridiculously valuable. After he found it he voluntarily donated £50 to the charity, which was surprising as he is normally very frugal. Its in our loft carefully stored. He likes to know he has it and that it increases in value. He will never sell it, he likes that he found it and owns it. It makes him very happy. No the DCS can't read it, but you only have to mention it and he beams with pride. We all need things that make us happy whatever they may be! if I go second I might just pop it in his urn....

[VaseWaterFlowers]

DS1 said he's going to leave it in a cupboard and tell his children never to touch it, and then tell them to tell their kids the same, and them theirs and so on and so on forever...... DS2 said he'd not thought about it but he likes DS1s idea.


@Qantaqa DS1 is very funny. This is brilliant. made me chuckle.

[Hawkins003]

@SchoolTripDrama

Sweaty paws? WTF

It's possible,

[SchoolTripDrama]

@Missingpop

The real reason your cousin wants to get her sweaty paws on it is because she knows it’s worth a few quid politely tell her to fuck off & that when they are sold on they will be sold for the benefit of you & yours not her & hers !!!

Sweaty paws? WTF

[SoMuchToBits]

Ah, thank you @Qantaqa I'd love to come over and get the Playmobil out! I hope you're not too far away from me (Suffolk)...

[Qantaqa]

@watcherintherye I did manage to save him yes. Hes got a permalimp and would defo be the first picked off by predators but I'll make sure when he comes back out he's in a safe lion proof enclosure :)

My vague plan has been to get them back out if when the DSs leave and play with display them. I'd be fine with older people playing with them .. its youngish kids that give me the heebie jeebies so those wanting to come play there is an open invitation. Hopefully we can get @SoMuchToBits round to set us up holiday appropriate sets ;)

I actually off the back off this asked the DSs what they would do with it when I died - DS1 said he's going to leave it in a cupboard and tell his children never to touch it, and then tell them to tell their kids the same, and them theirs and so on and so on forever...... DS2 said he'd not thought about it but he likes DS1s idea.

[NailsForBreakfastTacksForSnacks]

@OnaBegonia

@NailsForBreakfastTacksForSnacks
The meaning of the saying is to enjoy and use things not 'keep for good/later', we've recently cleared an elderly relatives home, full of boxes of 'stuff' kept for good, savings kept for rainy days whilst living like a pauper, what was the point? no enjoyment was had.

That might be the meaning of your saying, but the meaning of my Nans was to surround yourself with things that make you happy and to not give any fucks what anyone else thinks. Why should OP deprive herself of something that brings her joy because you think it's a waste?

How on earth could you possibly know what enjoyment that relative had? They could well have felt more content at just having it in a box somewhere.

You seem to lack an understanding that different people seek comfort and enjoyment from different things, be that a box of random stuff, a box of playmobil or a bank account full of cash.

[OnaBegonia]

@NailsForBreakfastTacksForSnacks
The meaning of the saying is to enjoy and use things not 'keep for good/later', we've recently cleared an elderly relatives home, full of boxes of 'stuff' kept for good, savings kept for rainy days whilst living like a pauper, what was the point? no enjoyment was had.

[watcherintherye]

then when DS2 broke the leg of the Gnu I actually burst into tears and packed it all way.

I’m so sorry, op, but this made me laugh! (Feel unkind now.) Were you able to glue the gnu, broken by DS2?
The Playmobil is yours. Do with it what you will.

[Pixiedust1234]

@OnaBegonia

@Pixiedust1234
Enjoy? knowing it's locked up
in a cupboard? not even her own kids got a use of it. Likely the kids will chuck it the bin eventually.

Its not locked up. Its safely stored until she has time and space to use it. (Same reasoning as keeping money in a savings account - its for later use).
Having kids does not mean giving them everything of yours. Parents are allowed to keep things for just themselves.
She won't care if the kids throw it away as she will be dead.

Again, why is your view of enjoyment the only valid one. She IS enjoying them.

[VaseWaterFlowers]

someone who enjoys camping but just having the tent in the loft until they die

That's not so bad either. Having the tent in the loft may give them pleasure because they know that camping is an option to them because the tent is there. No tent = no camping.

Sometimes knowing you have a choice or an option is a pleasure in itself.

[TaunterOfWomenInGeneralSaysSayonarastu]

@toomuchlaundry

@whumpthereitis but wouldn’t the equivalent of someone who likes their boxed collection of playmobil be someone who enjoys camping but just having the tent in the loft until they die

No, because the key is their enjoyment, not your opinion on usage.

You still seem to be having a problem understanding that other people enjoy different things to you.

Millions of people have boxed/shelved collectors items - it's hardly unusual.

[whumpthereitis]

@toomuchlaundry

@NailsForBreakfastTacksForSnacks in boxes not being used or seen, is she going to have them in her coffin?

Why do you care about what she does with her own shit? She doesn’t need to explain herself to you.

[SoMuchToBits]

But as I said previously, the OP used to have her Playmobil on display until her dcs were born and she no longer had the space. So it's likely that when she has the space again in the future, she will get it out of the boxes and display it again. In the meantime she keeps it safely boxed up and put away so that none of it gets broken.

I can't see anything wrong with that!

[NailsForBreakfastTacksForSnacks]

@toomuchlaundry

@NailsForBreakfastTacksForSnacks in boxes not being used or seen, is she going to have them in her coffin?

And?
They make her happy.

[toomuchlaundry]

@NailsForBreakfastTacksForSnacks in boxes not being used or seen, is she going to have them in her coffin?

[NailsForBreakfastTacksForSnacks]

@OnaBegonia

I never see the point in this keeping things never to be used, you're a long time dead as my granpa said, enjoy things whilst you can.
Not even let your own kids play with it is silly, it's plastic toys.

My Gran used to say,

You're a long time dead so surround yourself with things that make you happy..

And OP is.

[toomuchlaundry]

@lunde but most of those things are probably things you can see or get out to look at from time to time. OP (and others) have toys in boxes that are not looked at, and haven't even let their own children play with. And they wouldn't have been antiques when the children were small. Maybe, keep a couple of things separate if they were your favourite, but seems weird to not let your own children play with them and have no desire to let future grandchildren play with them.

DH's mum had his lego collection in her loft. When DS was old enough he was let loose on it, and then added to it. Same with toy cars. DH saw the pleasure DS got from them (and unleashed the inner child in DH when he got to play with them again). We have some lego models on display (not enough room for all of them). So yes we have things boxed up, but if we have children come to visit then we can get some of it out for them to play with (maybe keeping some of the precious stuff away) and if grandchildren come along then they may inherit a huge collection if they want it! But I can't imagine not having let DS get enjoyment from these toys. Much more enjoyment than them sitting in a box unseen by anyone.

We also got some Sylvanian Family items when DS was little, which were in his bedroom, caught MIL playing with them once when DS wasn't there! To be fair I can see us playing with the lego once DS is at university!

[OnaBegonia]

@Pixiedust1234
Enjoy? knowing it's locked up
in a cupboard? not even her own kids got a use of it. Likely the kids will chuck it the bin eventually.