AIBU: I am so annoyed by my kids' unwarranted detention?

After this long in France, children of that age should be fluent.

That depends on how much French they had before moving to France and how much talking French they are doing outside class.

have only read OPs posts but. You took them to France for a year, send them to french school, and they can't speak French?

But anyway. Stop fighting the school and tell your kids to behave or accept the punishment. You will get more out of the time in France if you do as the French do not fight it and try to impose your Britishness

I agree, why did the teachers not tell them to stop! It's very odd to watch them and not say anything and then give a detention for it the next day.
Very odd situation.

I can relate to your feelings OP because my son is in secondary education in U.K. and has been given a couple detentions for things completely out of his control - one time the teacher admitted the homework had not been assigned to my son due to a “technical glitch”, but due to him not having done it she still had to issue a detention. Another time he was given a warning for taking one hand off a ruler to cover his mouth to sneeze - they have a strict rule of two hands on ruler at all times when reading. I was “that parent” and contacted the school, not because it’s the end of the world to get a detention but because I wanted to hear their side of the story. Both times they admitted they’d got it wrong. He’s been in this school for 4 years now and never had a detention - there ARE well behaved kids who do as they are told, no matter how much MN doesn’t want to believe it. No, my son isn’t perfect and on the occasion he did forget his book and got a negative, I did tell him tough luck, it was a mistake and he will learn from this. Just because I know I have a good kid it doesn’t mean I think he can never ever do wrong. I just think sometimes the schools get it wrong too and that’s not okay.
This is a school in England so it’s not just happening in France - schools vary hugely in terms of discipline.

If your sons had been told not to climb the fence and they still chose to do it and were punished, fine. If there was no communication I’d be unhappy about it too. For those who say the kids should know better - kids are allowed to stand on the bottom part of the fence in my child’s school, no one has ever said a word about it. Sometimes they’re just holding onto something to lean back and let their hair blow in the wind - not a remarkable offence. If my kids were told to get off, they’d get off. I think that’s quite a normal expectation - if we do something wrong, we are told about it and if we THEN don’t listen, that would warrant a detention in my opinion.
But maybe they have previously spoken to all the children about not climbing fences and your children didn’t understand the language? That could be a possible explanation.

Good luck

they have a strict rule of two hands on ruler at all times when reading.

What on earth?

Rules applied arbitrarily are frustrating. My DCs’ school has become very strict, it’s bewildering sometimes as the process (verbal warning first etc) isn’t applied consistently and my son got sent out of the PE lesson with no warnings for dropping a ball.

That said, I work in education and I know that sometimes our children do not exactly tell us the whole truth. So, better to just leave it. There will be bigger issues to deal with and sometimes it’s best to just draw a line under it.

And yes, I’m sure (in fact I know because I work in schools) lots of kids do stuff like hang off a fence every now and again, despite what some posters are saying!

I’m surprised at the responses. I agree with you, Op. Falsely accused and no apology when the kid who did rip the tape was discovered, then actually watched your boys climb a fence and didn’t tell them to get down then laid down the law and acted like it was the crime of the century.

The fact is, their ethics are twisted if they think it’s ok to falsely accuse and punish a child for something another kid did, and then not make it right afterward. So in effect, especially as the adults with power, they are much more in the wrong.

It doesn't matter if you think it is unreasonable @SueDomym

If the school decree that smiling on Mondays is against the rules and that detention will be given to those who do then that's the rule. They don't make you attend that school do you?

Abide by it or take them out of that school-they've kindly offered you that option already.
Maybe school them yourself-if you don't like what's on offer- or, if the Czech Republic-that outlaws detentions according to you-suited you better than go back there.

I wish more schools in the UK were like the one you describe in France. Maybe teachers would be retained.

This is what French schools are like - you must know this being part French.

If you think this is bad try having ASD kid in mainstream school in France. (I don’t but a relative does).

If hanging off the fence is dangerous, surely the adults looking on should have intervened to prevent injury.

If hanging off the fence is going to damage the fence, surely the adults looking on should have intervened to prevent damage.

I can't imagine a rule that's only important to enforce after the event.

Sorry you're dealing with such dickishness from the school and on this thread, OP.

Schools are just institution OP. The public education system we currently know has been around for more than 150 years. However, the basic schooling model remains the same. 30 kids stuffed into a classroom taught by one teacher.
Children are still taught in a standardized and industrialized way. I agree with you when you say that your boys shouldn't have been punished for something so minor i.e. climbing the fence. The supervisor should've just asked them to climb down. Its a shame that you are having all these issues, maybe change schools or can you home school them?

If you don't agree with the school rules then change schools. Otherwise accept their punishments for breaking their rules.

Its ridiculous that you are kicking off about this fence situation as children that age should have already been taught (by you) not to climb over other peoples property.

I thought that the OP's description of school in France was outdated, draconian and downright obnoxious. Im surprised that you want schools in the UK behaving int hat manner?

The fact is isn't, shows that the vast majority of the kids KNOW discipline is strict and adapt their behaviour accordingly.

Yours need to do the same. Having a mother who defends/justifies daft misbehaviour (climbing on fence) as minor/unimportant, and calls one-hour detention "disproportionate" is doing them no favours at all.

What you permit/condone at home is irrelevant. At school, they need to comply with the behaviours expected and required at school.

Punishment, could also be described as facing the consequences of your action. Rephrase it for yourself in this way, to call it punishment is labelling it inappropriately. No one can go through life believing consequences are punishments, that's a narcissistic way to look at things. Teach you child appropriately

When they say if you're not happy, take your kids somewhere else, they are really hoping you will.
Parents don't interfere with detentions or school life in general in France. The teachers/SLT must have been befuddled you requested a meeting about it.
The best thing to do is to accept the culture is different. Presumably this is one of the life lessons you wanted your children to learn so lead by example on this one.

These are really minor things. I don’t agree personally either but if I was otherwise happy about the school I think I would accept that the school’s culture is a bit more disciplinarian than me and explain that to the kids and tell them to be careful when e.g they see someone watching them. They are old enough to understand that the school sets the rules. Especially since they are only there for such a short time, I really wouldn’t obsess about this.

If you really want to help I’d suggest getting more involved in the school yourself, like helping out at events, trips, going to meetings etc- that way you find out how to exercise soft power, get an inside line on the rules/ culture etc and get the teachers onside.

It doesn't matter that you don't agree with the school rules OP. Your opinion is irrelevant.

The school has the right to set out their rules and pupils who disobey will be punished.

You have rules in your own home I'm sure. That is your right.

Wherever your children are they need to learn to follow the rules and conventions of that particular place. A valuable life lesson.

They've only been there a few months! It's a myth that children learn a language in no time. Having said that I'm assuming they already spoke French before they went, with a French mum.

YANBU, ridiculous, just tell them to get down, it is overly punitive. Is France a strict country though? I remember in the London Transport museum seeing a French child get punished by his Mum for something like attempting to climb on a train before another child, he was just being a bit over excited and for that she made him stand facing the wall for about 10 minutes. She had her back to him so he couldn't move away. He was only about 6 so I thought it was a little ott.

As someone who lived in a french-speaking country for a long time and speaks pretty good French - unless French is your mother tongue one of the most difficult skills to acquire is how to complain in a way that carries your point successfully without sounding rude and even aggressive. Other posters have pointed out that you are not tuning in to what is considered OK or not OK locally but imposing your standards of what is right or fair. From what you say I think it’s possible that in addition you are sounding much more rude than you realise when speaking to staff at the school - you clearly were angry when you spoke on the phone to the person on playground duty but from what you say I suspect that you were much more offensive than perhaps you intended to be.

She didn't say it was a wire fence she said it was a fence. I've worked in schools before children have climbed fences that are low. If it was dangerous they should have told him to come down immediately he should have been given a warning. The way they handled it is odd. If I had a new child at a school I would immediately tell them to get down and communicated to them our expectations and warned them of the consequences.

That said, Britain was probably similar 50 years ago as my parents state that your parent would never get involved. I think that changed when I was at school as my Dad did question a detention I had for him making me late every day as he gave me a lift due to them being divorced it was the only time I saw him in the week. Anyway, that was mid 90s and they still ignored him but agreed to let it go another time.

I think that if schools had those kind of punishments day one, their lives would be much easier. Dd forgot her homework week1 of school and got lunchtime detention. Never forgot it again.
Just saying.