AIBU: I am so annoyed by my kids' unwarranted detention?

I do think, OP. that if you disagree so strongly with the school you are sending your childrren to, you should home school

Get a grip! This is really trivial. They did something wrong and were given a detention. It's nothing.

An hour's detention? It's not life without parole!

It's you who is getting things out of proportion, not the school.

What does the children's father think?

Move on, accept it has happened,and stop being so tiresome.
Why is it such a big Deal? You are making too much of it. You have already been told if you don't like what the School does to take them elsewhere. You are clearly annoying alot of people.

You are not being unreasonable. They seem quite punitive. The fact they just blamed your child for something and did not try and understand what had happened. It may be the language is a barrier but I think I would do what the school says and find another better school. Maybe it is a cultural clash but they need to be more understanding that they just moved to the country and do not understand the rules.

Don’t be so ridiculous. Suck it up and tell your sons to do the same. And tell them to stay off fences.

You do know, I assume, that French schools are, in general, more top down authoritarian than in the U.K., and that children are simply expected to behave, full stop? They don't, generally, in comparison to the U.K., look at mitigating factors of the individual child, because they're supposed to conform. I know this because I have family in France and chose not to put my kids in the French school where I live. My DH is French.

You chose to put your children in a foreign school system for a year. It's not only the language and the curriculum that's different in this different culture, but the educational culture. This school being "rural" doesn't change that.

Yes they could have been told not to hang on the fence. But they weren't. You're only there for a year, with about 16 weeks of school left. Tell your boys this is how it is in France and to follow rules. If they don't, they'll get detentions. Hopefully you'll be happier with their next school.

And leave it be. You'll never win against this system, whether you're 100% right or not. Your kids will be out of there soon so just enjoy your last weeks rather than make it a nightmare for you all.

If you've been to a french school OP then you know how strict they are. They're not supposed to hit the kids but it happens and if the parents complain you get a shrug.
If your dc are OK then I'd let it go.

One of the most valuable lessons I learned growing up in the French school system is that Life Is Not Fair. Thé sooner you learn to accept that, the happier you’ll be.

I climbed every fence and tree going as a kid. Never at school.

At school I remember it being banned to sit on window sills or lean against radiators. Seemed stupid at the time but now I'm all grown up and I get it.

How many kids in the school? How a long would rhe fence last? If they all hang off it?

Ach come off it, no 11 and 12 year old children at a school think they are allowed to hang off a wire fence, there’s no language barrier involved!!! There is no culture clash, there is no school culture in the world that thinks it ok to let children hang off a fence.

I’m a teacher abroad (not France) and honestly, things are just done differently than in the UK in most countries! More traditional strictness, respect for teachers and the school (by parents and children), punishments for bad behaviour which parents support and which lead to children with excellent behaviour. My country is very strict with punishments but as a result the children are exceptionally well behaved. I think strictness can have positive effects on a child - never thought this when I lived in the UK but now I have seen what it’s like here, I sort of admire it. It works, anyway.

I think it was heavy-handed of the school, but pick your battles. They shouldn't have been doing it and there's a consequence. Hold them accountable and move on.

It does sound a bit like they aren’t the principal’s favourites. There is no point arguing about the rules with the principal. I would look at how good you think the school is in general (not counting these incidents) and how much longer they will be there, and consider moving them. If they are moving to a new senior school soon I wouldn’t bother, but if they are already in the school they stay in until they complete high school I would think about the possibility of changing schools. You don’t want them to miss any opportunities due to not being selected in teams etc. and this sort of thing does happen. If the school has been great outside these incidents, I would just let it go.

I wish Britain would go down this route! I work in a high school and it's unbelievable what goes on.

I bet if one of your boys.fell off the fence and.broke his arm you'd be banging on the head teacher's door complaining about sloppy staff who didn't supervise children properly, lack of adequate discipline measures, failure to provide sufficient medical care etc etc
The most effective way to deal with this is to tell your boy to stay off the wall.

Your kids surely know not to climb on things don't they, surely they dont need someone to tell them that? My children are younger but they certainly do.

I think your reaction to a detention is OTT, you sound very delusional about your children's behaviour.

You know the school is far more strict than your dcs are used to. Just let it go. It’s only an hour’s detention. The only other option is to return home early. My dh is French and that would be his take. In the UK, children are given detentions all the time. For being late by only a few seconds, girls for rolling their skirts up, for forgetting your PE kit etc.

I think you need to suck it up and realise that you’re not running the school. You send your kids there and they make the rules.

Agree, it is odd the teacher walked away without saying anything, but they should have still got the attention.

What difference does it make that the teacher didn’t say anything? If your children were attacking other children, do you think the teacher telling them to stop would have excused the punishment? Of course not. At that age they should know what is right and wrong and they have been dealt with accordingly.

God I wish uk schools still had this level of discipline.

Teachers are busy enough without having idiots ringing up AND writing to them every ten minutes to argue with them and undermine their decisions.

You need to accept that your pwecious ickle hunny bunny aaaaaangels are capable of misbehaving, the same as any other child.

im not surprised they haven’t written back yet. The harder work the parent is, the longer it takes to put together a response.

The thing with the fence may be reasonable but coming on the heels of your child having received detention for something he didn't do, in his first week at a new school, and the principal then failing to disclose that he knew the other child lied and that your child didn't do it, it starts to feel like, not only are they incredibly unkind and unwelcoming people, but they are also picking on your children.

I think it's interesting the mediator said that raising this issue with the principal will result in bringing down the whole establishment on your children's heads. A principal who reacts like that to a parent addressing a small behavior problem (in which the principal was partially at fault) is a vindictive person. Maybe you are now in a culture where people in power are allowed to be vindictive and it's accepted. Or maybe the mediator just knows this particular principal. I don't know. You should probably follow the mediator's advice as they know the culture. But you don't have to like it or convince yourself it's reasonable.

Hanging on a fence at school is not acceptable behaviour and I would expect your children to know that. I agree they should have been asked to get down first but you need to stop thinking that they have done nothing wrong, they have.