AIBU To refuse to hold down toddler to force in medicine

[Calmondeck]

DH & I are at loggerheads - our DS is refusing to take required oral syrup medication (daily). DH believes the most respectful thing to do is explain to DS why it’s necessary he swallow the syrup, and then both hold him down while we force the liquid inside/him to swallow. I think this is too traumatising (the medication is required for the next 10 months at least) and we should try disguising it in foods (this has been mostly unsuccessful to date). DH says it’s deceitful to do this. DS is 22 months old.

So far, forcing him down has result in vomiting and/or him spitting it out.

AIBU to refuse to participate in holding our son down?

Well what would you suggest?

I mean if he needs the medicine he needs the medicine tbh.

Depends what the medication is for.

Can't you read? The op wants to disguise it in food.

@ReluctantAdult1 I’m suggesting that holding him down isn’t working - he vomits or spits out the medication so why do this

I agree you should try to disguise it. If that doesn't work if use a syringe.

Horrible situation.

I think at 22 months that hiding medicine in food is fine...if successful of course. If this is failing then maybe holding him down is the only option. Have you tried bribery? Mine would do anything for a chocolate coin.

I would hold him down. Never mind respectful, he needs this medicine and your job is to make sure he gets it.

You can do it with a syringe towards back of mouth then blow in his face. This worked with mine when they needed medicine at this age.

The alternative is to see if it can be given in another form, but assuming not, you need to be practical.

If that's the only option for the medication and he needs it then unfortunately yes it's the most sensible option. If he's not going to consume it in food and if he needs to take it then yes hold down squirt in and move on. It's not nice but if he needs the medicine then unfortunately being nice is not as important as getting it in him.

Santa is deceitful as well- does your husband have an issue with this? It’s also not really deceitful when an under 2 doesn’t understand medicines in general. So if they’re happy taking it in food then carry on… why Rock the boat?

Use the squirty thing, point it to the back of his cheek, so to the back and side. It is really difficult to spot stuff out from there and he'll swallow it whether he wants to or not.

I say this as kindly as I can - you're being ridiculous. Child needs the medication, consistently and as per prescription. Stop negotiating. Those discussions are for what clothes to wear etc.

My daughter has had a huge amount of medications for one reason or another, tough shit she has to have them. What works well is explaining what it is, doing a 'practice run' so they know what to expect, and then holding her however is needed to get it done. Afterwards we discuss, e.g. 'It wasn't ouchie, it just tasted funny' or 'it was only ouchie for a second then it went away' and I repeat that back to her at the next dose. She's amazing at taking all medication now, and we didn't get there because I asked her nicely if she might consider taking it!

Also, be aware that hiding it in food is likely to cause big distrust issues around food which may well open up a whole can of worms.

If it’s not working there’s no point going through the trauma of doing it. Previously I’ve used a 1ml syringe which is small and thin enough, allowing you to stick it in super quickly and to the back of the throat (less likely to be spat out). Stick the syringe in some chocolate spread? Practice with water or juice and let wee one have a go themselves?

If it’s a medicine that can be put into food and disguised that way of course do that. I have restrained DS to get Calpol into him when feverish though, he needed it and wouldn’t have eaten it either.

I really recommend using a syringe to administer it instead of a spoon, unfortunately holding them down is the only option sometimes and although its not nice for anyone involved if you have 10 months of this its going to be best to get him used to taking it from you instead of having to worry about hiding it every day.

I had to force Dc2, I used to do it in the bath for less mess, when they were old enough to understand bribes (2.5?) then they were fine.

IMO the medicine needs to go in. You can’t be sure how much they’ve had if you disguise it in food.

Which is worse - his I’ll ess being untreated (and possibly becoming much more serious) or holding him down?

If it’s antibiotics, for example, him not taking them could allow the infection to really take hold - and he could end up needing stronger ones or even a drip in hospital.

I understand what you mean and it can be really hard to get them to take liquid medicine ! When my dd was 1 she got diagnosed with diabetes and I had to pin her down and hold her still for injections and that was actually easier than getting liquid medication in ! It was still horrible but sometimes you have to do what’s best (and they usually forget quickly after too with distraction )

The issue with hiding it in food is it is likely to make the food taste funny. Then you also need him to eat all the food to get the correct dosage. Sounds unreliable to me and also might cause food issues if he starts to associate eating with a medicinal taste.

For me, as the parent I think the need for him to take the medicine would override my wish to be respectful and so if necessary I would hold him down to take it. But as you mention, I would also explain in simple terms why each time I did it. Have you tried a syringe if he’s spitting it down? My DS will happily take medicine in a syringe and we make it into a bit of a game. I’d worry about getting the dosage right when disguising in food because if they don’t eat it all, you don’t know how much medicine they’ve had.

If he needs the medicine, your job is to get it down him. Hiding it in food may cause issues with his overall eating. But maybe not - give it a try.

It it doesn’t work though - you’ll have to press the issue and hold him down. Kids need to be clear that medicine they need is not an optional extra. You can sweeten the pot with bribes, but ultimately they need to do as told.

Hold him and reward with chocolate buttons after. Took 2 days then my DD was asking for the medicine so she could have the choc. She is easily bought.

I had to manhandle DD for no less than 18 PCR tests during lockdowns. Sometimes you just have to do things they don’t like.

You need a good technique with them
upright and arms held, squirt of medicine, glug of water and repeat. I used to explain it in detail too why she had to have it and tons of praise and reward for every swallow.

It’s a bit shit but necessary. On the plus side she takes any medicine now even the vile banana penicillin.

I wrapped up DS like a cat at the vet when he was about three and forced it down his neck. Four times a day for about a week and that was after three days on IV antibiotics. It meant he was no longer bed/ hospital bound and it likely saved his life so yes I would pin them down and force it in (had I not it would have been back to cannulas and IV antibiotics)

Can’t you read? OP says that doesn’t bloody work.

I would choice option 3, make another appointment with doctor and tell them you are struggling with compliance. Sometimes for some medication, they can get them in a different form or one that tastes different.

This happened once with antibiotics for ds and I took him back to doctors who said try this type of antibiotics and if he refuses it, we will give it to him via a iv. He took with bribing + lots of encouragement. The second type tasted and smelt better.