AIBU To refuse to hold down toddler to force in medicine

[Calmondeck]

DH & I are at loggerheads - our DS is refusing to take required oral syrup medication (daily). DH believes the most respectful thing to do is explain to DS why it’s necessary he swallow the syrup, and then both hold him down while we force the liquid inside/him to swallow. I think this is too traumatising (the medication is required for the next 10 months at least) and we should try disguising it in foods (this has been mostly unsuccessful to date). DH says it’s deceitful to do this. DS is 22 months old.

So far, forcing him down has result in vomiting and/or him spitting it out.

AIBU to refuse to participate in holding our son down?

definitely don't discount the holding him and squirting method as it does work.

It’s in the OP they’ve already tried the holding him down and force feeding him and he vomits it back up. Can’t believe people are continuing to push a method that not only is traumatising but has literally not worked with this child despite multiple attempts. It’s like you don’t get that vomiting the medicine = no medicine in his system.

You’re one of the most unkind posters on this entire thread giving what the OP and some of the other posters have or are going through.

‘Oh how dramatic they might die’

Checking out of this now because it’s actually depressing how nasty other mothers can be even when they know the full details.

Talk to the nurses who are doing the bloods or in the hospital. They will likely assist if you have it ready and will teach you ways of getting it in quickly.
Hope things improve OP it sounds a tough start for a little one! (And his parents!)

I just had this with my 2yr old with antibiotics. We managed to stir it into yoghurt with loads of honey or chocolate sauce on (depending on what he demanded!) in the morning, and in a scoop of ice cream with chocolate sauce in the evening. It worked!

I’m unkind? I’m the one agreeing with the OP that it is traumatising and she is perfectly reasonable to refuse to continue to try this method that is patently not working with her child,

It’s all the posters telling her off and telling her she needs to be a parent not a friend and keep force feeding her child that are being unkind.

I care more about the OP and her DC as she is the one here for help and validation.

Thank you, blame exhaustion but I hadn’t thought of multiple syringes for DH & I too. For his daily 2 hour treatment, DH & I both participate… which seems to help. If bribery doesn’t work tomorrow, we’ll try this play acting route, with a treat. Holding down really seems last resort to me, when there are so many more absolutely vital treatments we need to force his cooperation with. Thank you too for suggesting being tougher with the medical team to find alternatives- apparently there are tablets older children can take, but they think he’s too young. Maybe I’ll press it. Unfortunately suppositories aren’t an option because of the risk of bacteria entering the body, but god I wish they were.

If they need medicine they need medicine, one of mine was a refusal so one patent would wrap a towel around him, one of our older children would tickle his chin and the other parent would do the syringe.

You need to get the medicime into your child. End of. Syringe method should work. Better than a spoon. Also agree with another visit to the doctor to see what they suggest.

if it was a week long course then pinning him down if needed is what it is.

However your son is receiving long term treatment and I’m with you - he needs you on his side. Pinning him down daily for the next 10 months will be traumatic for both of you, and probably won’t get the medicine in him anyway.

Time to try every bribe and trick under the sun. We have similar issues with DS and medication, it’s a nightmare getting it into him, and he will spit it out or gag until he pukes. We found injecting the syrup into a chocolate brioche roll worked a treat! He couldn’t taste the medicine, and we had to do it 3 times a day and each time would take 30mins, but it worked!

I had disgusting oral medication as a kid for bad bronchitis. I'll never take liquid medicine again. Always insist on tablets. The fake flavours have a disgusting after taste.

I'd suggest a syringe. It's the easiest way to get icky stuff eg wormer into the horse. If you run along the cheek as you squirt they can't ball it up to spit out. A horse trick is to put something yummy in the syringe eg apple sauce, draw up the meds, then finish with more yummy. Makes it a bit more palatable for them.

Alternatively ask if there is a tablet form you could grind and mix in to Nutella.

Do you know if the tablets would be able to be crushed? This may work better with a little yogurt (or choccy spread) thank trying to disguise liquid

Does he have a dummy at all for comfort? You can buy medicine dummies online where you put the medicine inside the cap and then plunge it in like a syringe.
would it be worth asking the staff if he can have it at a different time of day eg as he’s falling asleep because a medicine dummy might be the best way to go.
get him settled pop the dummy in and then squirt the medication in.
you can order them on Amazon or pick them up at pharmacies.
i think they hold up to 7.5mls

I just popped back to give you a virtual hug @Calmondeck
Bless you ❤️💐 sending love to you, DH and your baby boy and wishing him strength and good health xxx

Youre the one sounding dramatic. Maybe try being constructive and helpful instead - what was your non-coercive solution to getting essential medicine into a child who won't take it disguised in food?

Have you tried disguising it in just honey? Tried this today after it was rejected in yoghurt, fruit purées etc etc. terribly sugary but she drank water straight after and I was strict with teeth brushing.

Mix it with a strong ice cream, mint choc chip, call it a special treat!

So what, you’d just let your child die of cancer rather than hold them down to give medicine? If the medicine is necessary you should of course do whatever you need to get it into the child.

The pediatric nurses will be well versed in getting liquid meds into kids and will give you some hints and tips. I'd be viewing holding him down as a last resort because realistically this isn't a weekly course of abx, it's going to be longer term. He needs to be able to trust you.

Does he still take a bottle? If so put the medicine into an empty teat and have him take it that way. Covert meds can be difficult to know how much has actually taken and I'm assuming we are talking about something fairly crucial. If you are going down that way I'd mix in a teaspoonful of yoghurt and get that down first, don't just put it in the main yoghurt pot. My 3yo is very reluctant to get his teeth brushed so I asked him if he wanted to squeeze a part of my face while we did it. Its now about 6m later and he still sueezes my nose twice a day while we got them done.

There are often ways of getting a child to take medicine, my DS has SEN and with a lot of patience, bribery, it can be not traumatic. I would remove your DH from the room and find a better time, and be really gentle and reassuring. Give a tiny bit, with the syringe, possibly with his favourite thing to do like watching ipad videos and whilst eating his favourite treat. Be really relaxed, like there is no time in the world, the a little bit more, with loads of praise.

Practice with him with a pretend syringe on his cuddly toy, let him do it, play doctors. Let him see in a video on an age appropriate ‘taking medicine’ type story - again with no ‘urgency’ just ease into it. It might take a day of setting up, watching the video, practising on his toy with him… waiting for the most relaxed time.

I think now it’s been awful for your child, you’ve kind of set if up so that he’s hugely anxious and you need to do it in a completely different way.

If it’s every day then if you do take loads and loads of time to get it really right, then you will find that it will become OK and then every day you can do it with a calm child.

Thanks so much for this link @Psmith83

For my oldest Ds who could spot medicine at 50 feet and spit it out. I used to put it in a bit of cola only abbey a 1/4 inch in the bottom of the glass, something he wasn't allowed, I put it in the glass with a straw and would walk into the room like I was drinking it. Then offer some, he would suck it down fast while I'd say leave some for me, and he'd run off laughing.

My helping syrup story.
my name is x I like doing x y z
I am learning about something called helping syrup
Not many people like helping syrup, because it tastes yucky. But helping syrups job is to help me get better, it’s to help my x

when I have helping syrup I can choose my favourite programme. I will have my favourite Teddy with me to help me be brave.

mummy and daddy will tell me when helping syrup is coming and I can have my favourite drink with me to make the helping syrup taste go away

when I have finish my helping syrup I will get to ( insert a thing rewarding to the child … sustainable and cheap!….)

mummy and daddy will give me a big clap and we can have a dance about me being so clever ( make the dance super silly)

• allow child to give ‘ helping syrup to a Teddy and all have a clap and dance when teddies had his turn *allow child to ‘hold’ syringe ( feeling a sense of control) *be reliable each time , ie have the fav strong tasting drink avaliable *if possible / the meds come in a different flavour try and get them changed so you are starting from scratch *with the above approach don’t refer to it at all as you have in the past … dress it up as something different and new, as there will defiantly be some negative associations ( eg don’t call it medicine if you have in the past)
• print a picture that looks friendly and bright on the bottle ( and keep out of reach) …. Kids don’t choose sweets in plain dull packaging

good luck xx

I think your approach is the kindest and most sensible thing to do @Calmondeck

i would try, whatever treat they LOVE.

wave it in front of them, then casually say, oh yes but we just need to do this first, all low key, no fuss about it.

money on they will take the medicine for the treat, they could even hold it while taking meds.

after a while reduce size of treat to just a tiny bit daily.

I’ve just read what the medicine is for. Be kind to one another and support each other and forgive each other when you’re not . I’m so sorry you are going through this …. It’s a parents worst nightmare.

get the play leader/ ward school to print off the social story above if you think it would be beneficial in any way…. You clearly have more than enough to do. Ps sometimes the CLIc nurses have some great ideas xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx