AIBU To refuse to hold down toddler to force in medicine

[Calmondeck]

DH & I are at loggerheads - our DS is refusing to take required oral syrup medication (daily). DH believes the most respectful thing to do is explain to DS why it’s necessary he swallow the syrup, and then both hold him down while we force the liquid inside/him to swallow. I think this is too traumatising (the medication is required for the next 10 months at least) and we should try disguising it in foods (this has been mostly unsuccessful to date). DH says it’s deceitful to do this. DS is 22 months old.

So far, forcing him down has result in vomiting and/or him spitting it out.

AIBU to refuse to participate in holding our son down?

I wouldn't hold him down and force him to take it except as a last resort. If it can be successfully hidden in food or a drink I would obviously do that first. When my daughter was having a lot of ear infections and had to take antibiotics we always put them in one of those little yogurt drinks because they were thick and we just stirred it up really well with a straw and that worked pretty well. You might try that. But if he has to take it, he has to take, it regardless of how much he might not want to.

I would ask to have some sessions with play team they are great at helping kids in this situation. Also remember that he may be refusing as away of control as dc in his situation loose so much control they try to grab at any they can.

I mean, I’m of the opinion that if he needs the meds he needs the meds; I’d be holding him down and just getting on with it.

It is hard when this happens we had to hide medication in yoghurts.

I've had to hold my toddler down to give medicine numerous times. She doesn't like it but I need to make sure she gets it, at the correct dose. If I put it in her food she might not eat all the food. I don't feel guilty about forcing her to take it I use a syringe down her throat and it's over quickly. She gets over it within seconds.

YANBU OP. Your little one has so much to go through, he doesn't need his parents holding him down to force medicine down his throat. He needs at least one person to wholeheartedly trust.

I'm very glad you've found an alternative that is working. (Is a PEG something that has been considered? My son's hosp insisted on it, as they insisted children stopped eating during chemo and radiotheraphy. That wasn't the case for my child, but the PEG has been a saviour in terms of getting medication into him. He has refused all liquid medication since he was an infant; has always vomited it up and, now he is a little older, would still rather be in agony than even attempt to swallow liquid medicine.)

I feel for you, I have a disabled child that needed holding down just yesterday for his life long injections however today he needed oral medicine which he spat out so I put the syrup in a cup with dilute juice and only a splash of water so it’s like a shot of orange and it did the trick. Literally about 8-10ml of liquid altogether works a charm.

My disabled 9 year old has to take 4 medications per day. He doesn’t willingly take any of them. Never has.

I don’t put them it in his food, he barely eats as it is so don’t want to cause more harm than good as he’d stop eating if he clocked them in there.

I put them in his drink. They used to be tablets that I crushed, now they are liquids.

Ds has never tasted any of it, I talked to his consultant about it and they wasn’t sure if it would work, so I explained what happens when somebody gets spiked, after that she agreed to let me put them in his drink.

What medications is it?

^ following on to my last post.

Ive put erythromycin antibiotics in his drink, steroids for his chest, calpol / nurofen. They’ve always worked.

disclaimer I’m not a dr, just have a pain in the arse child who refuses to take anything I’ve ever tried to give him.

All children are different but with my DC, I wouldn't have given any long explanations, I would just have said "medicine time", held him from behind and tilted his head back and squirted it in. Then given a small treat to take the taste away. These things have to be done, but I think doing them quickly is kindest. Explanations just drag things out and they don't really understand at that age.

Syringe to side of cheek

blow in their face as you do it

And hold them down

I was going to suggest peg/NG as an option.

thankfully we haven’t been in the same position as you and the OP but ds is medically complex and as much as I have “happily” pinned him down to do medication when younger the peg he now has has certainly made the long term liquid medication he is on now so much easier

He need the medicine and as a parent you have a responsibility to give it to him. You could hold him down in a firm way and put little bits in at a time… you can also put it in yoghurt etc. I don’t suggest holding his nose and zips ties!

Maybe also see if hospital have hospital play specialists/play therapists that can help? Especially as this is an ongoing need for meds.

Sending best wishes x

After reading your original post @Calmondeck my first response would be to do whatever it takes to get the meds in to him and stay in (thinking back to when mine were small) pinning down/forcing if required.....however after reading your following updates It has changed my mind. I absolutely feel for you all and hope there is an alternative that works for all. Keep fighting.

Looks like you've found a solution which works. I wouldn't be wanting to hold down a 22 month old daily for 10 months either, especially when they are already undergoing so much else.
Mixing with golden syrup worked for us when nothing else did. Maybe that will help someone!

We had this recently and we had to hold down and then once we gave it to him blow on his face so he would get it down.

This was actually a method recommended to us by the doctor as the alternative was an IV drip!

It was shit and horrible but there was no other choice.

FYI it's worth considering we tried hiding in food and he'd refuse to eat anymore after a bit which meant he wasn't getting a full dose and then refused to go near food or drink for fear we were putting it in there so it did much more harm than good

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable, I’ve had to do it for a short course of antibiotics and it’s so wearing, and as you say half the time it gets spat out anyway.

There will be a way to do it without having to force him. I’ve managed to get medicine into my son by mixing it in his weetabix, a fruit pot and in a couple of spoonfuls of runny honey. Before Christmas he was on antibiotic tablets as they had no syrup, I had to crush the tablet up with a rolling pin, mix it into a watery mixture then mix with the honey.

If you’re struggling with technique you could ask a medical professional for advice. My husband was a doctor in A&E and he is so magic at getting the medicine in.
don’t squirt down the back of the throat if they inhale the medication it will cause issues. You want it in the side of the cheek so they can swallow it.
I wonder if there’s any technique videos on YouTube.

Im a hygienist I worked in the hospital for a while children having tooth extractions because ‘their kids wouldn’t brush their teeth’ and I was always saying it’s the parents job to get the teeth brushed.
Youtube search how to restrain a child to brush their teeth and there are methods we get taught as options to teach parents.

So unfortunately yes he needs to have the medicine. Look up some ways and tips / tricks / techniques online. Could you ring Paedeatrics dept at your local hospital and ask if anyone would be willing to show you some techniques?

My son used to have tonsillitis a lot. The doctor would prescribe sugar free antibiotics and we would struggle to get him to take it (it does taste foul).
My mother in law came up with the genius idea of the milkshake straws ( with the beads in). Mix the medicine with milk and then hand over the straw. It seriously was revolutionary for us to get him to take the antibiotics.
Good luck… it’s not fun trying to get poorly kids to take their medicine.

From the age of three my Mum sat astride my shoulders to pin me down to take that neon yellow foul banana-tasting antibiotics, twice a day, she hated it, I can't remember a darned thing about it, and I couldn't remember this as a kid either but loved my Mum telling the story!
Apparently this traumatised my Mum way more than doing me any harm...Had I not had the meds though I would have probably been very very ill...

Yeah. Waste NHS resources and appointment because you cannot be arsed to give your child medicine.

It’s not a waste of NHS resources don’t be ridiculous. This can be done with a phone appointment.

I had to hold my son down for vaccines a few times. He was screaming his head off. I felt awful bc it did seem a bit traumatizing. We tried repeatedly with an extremely patient nurse, tried talking to him, explaining, distracting, everything....eventually I had to restrain him. I hated doing it and cried a bit myself. But he'll never have to go through the trauma of ending up in a wheelchair from polio so it is what it is.

Odd. When my severely asthmatic DC was in reception, it was during swine flu. It was then that it became clear when I took them in for vaccination that they had a needle phobia. Similar to you…screaming, crying, moaning, clinging to me, burying their face into me, begging me to take them home right now.

The NHS nurse and I both agreed we can’t restrain and force jab a child with a needle phobia. So went home and went back a few days later for another attempt where they gave them a sedative, then we read a book in the waiting area for 20mins for the “numbing pill” to take effect. Told them the medicine would mean they can’t feel the needle at all. Then went in and they laid my DC on a bed, advised them to just look at me and squeeze my hand as hard as they could. That’s how we got the swine flu jab done and all later vaccinations.

A needle phobia affects dentistry, blood tests…it’s not just vaccinations. Thankfully there are accommodations available as a needle phobia isn’t unheard of.