AIBU To refuse to hold down toddler to force in medicine

[Calmondeck]

DH & I are at loggerheads - our DS is refusing to take required oral syrup medication (daily). DH believes the most respectful thing to do is explain to DS why it’s necessary he swallow the syrup, and then both hold him down while we force the liquid inside/him to swallow. I think this is too traumatising (the medication is required for the next 10 months at least) and we should try disguising it in foods (this has been mostly unsuccessful to date). DH says it’s deceitful to do this. DS is 22 months old.

So far, forcing him down has result in vomiting and/or him spitting it out.

AIBU to refuse to participate in holding our son down?

Your doing a great job OP. That must be hard ❤️

So sorry to hear what you're all going through.

I did hold one of my DDs down to get liquid antibiotics into her. It was very unpleasant but after three days she was able to cooperate and things went smoothly. That's more a resort for something short term like ten days of antibiotics, not the ten months you're facing, though it's possible a few days of holding down would end with him taking the medicine.

I second the advice to bribe with whatever candy he would like. Small Reeses peanut butter cups or cut up larger ones were always acceptable to my DCs.

Would the staff be able to grind up pills so you could mix in a ground up pill with candy or a little scoop of ice cream?

Exactly this

I regularly give covert medication , I find jam is good I cut a nutrigrain vertically mixed the meds in extra jam then spread it inside the nutrigrain bar.

There is a reason Mary Poppins sang about a spoonful of sugar helping the medicine go down - even she believed in bribery!

Keep his fav sweet there as a treat once he has had the meds. Not so scary then for him as he is focused more on the treat

What a horrible horrible person you are.

Nothing I see on this site shocks me anymore 😔

Your DS does not have capacity to refuse medication he can't make an objective decision so it's up to you to act in his best interests. So try covert mixing in with food, sweet foods work the best if that fails you will have to hold.

If you can put it in the fridge, do that. There's less taste when medicine is cold, use a syringe and squirt it into tge back of his mouth. Have something he likes ready to pop in his mouth afterwards.

Good luck, it sounds like a difficult situation x

Don't do it, force feeding medicine can cause oral aversions. It can make them refuse food, drink, teeth brushing and lead to a multitude of issues lasting years.

I work with children in hospital- highly recommend getting play therapy team involved who can really help with things like this.
as for your dh- anything that makes this least traumatising for your kid trumps “deceit”. I understand being open with kids, indeed I teach it in healthcare, but that comes with a huge highlighter
sticker of “age appropriate” and he’s a confused toddler who is going through enough and if you can conceal the taste in something/ reward him then do it 💯. the trauma of holding him down for this if there is an alternative isn’t kind when you have to do enough of that already for his invasive procedures. sending you love and hugs x

dady goes first-syring(the skoosher-similar colour juice)let babe do it-daddy can "react" normalise it? and...bribery
sweetie afterwards?(soft chew vitamin even)

We had to do this with our son. He was being treated for 4 months with the most disgusting medicine I've ever tasted. Age 2 ish. Disguising it was impossible as it was vile. We had to hold him tight and syringe it in, then immediately syringed in loads of milk or orange juice to wash it down. It was hard to get in in him at first (spitting etc) but got easier over time. He has no issues taking medicine now.

I’m sorry you are going through this OP, you sound amazing and so does your little boy. Sending you strength. What worked for us when DS was that age was to use a syringe and all have a go, so mummy’s turn, daddy’s turn, DS turn, and then each ate a piece of chocolate straight after and a drink to wash it down.

This also worked for his inhaler with the mask etc as he was initially terrified of it (we actually did have to pin him down in hospital while he screamed - the medical staff just needed to get it in him) but after lots of reassurance and turn taking eventually he started taking it totally fine. Luckily these days he just takes anything with no fuss!

I am not opposed to holding down a child in theory if they’re refusing much needed medicine - it’s a case of having to be cruel to be kind. But if he’s just vomiting it up then it isn’t working. In my experience, good luck disguising it in food! My son could always taste it and would never eat/drink whatever it was disguised in. I think you need to talk to the doctor - child medicine has sweet, artificial flavours that some kids despise and others love. There’s an orange flavoured medicine that makes my son vomit and he will fight and fight to avoid having it. The same medicine in strawberry is no problem though! So maybe try a different flavour or brand?

Thank you 💛 you’re giving me confidence to trial different methods first. @LibrariansGiveUsPower you’ve hit the nail on the head for me - because this is such a long road ahead, I really want this little guy to feel like I am his advocate. I feel like I am achieving this with most of the other treatments, he may cry but he’s holding tight to my hand and I feel an element of trust.
But the oral medication is the only one I feel quite uncertain on because of such dramatic reactions from him. I’m going to go in with more confidence now - bribes, treats, play acting, patience. Thank you everyone for the alternatives.

When mine was little and had to take antibiotics I made him a chart of 'bugs'. Every time he took a dose, we crossed off a 'bug' that he'd just zapped, and he got a handful of sweets afterwards. I can't recall his exact age, could have been a little bit older, but it worked for us and I never thought it would - he would scream blue murder when we tried to give him it.

I can try and find the 'bug' chart for you if that might be helpful.

Had same issue with my eldest when he was in hospital, years ago. He had to take Sytron. The nurse tried getting him to take it himself with the syringe. It eventually worked. He had to be the one in control.

((Hugs)). I know very un mn

Sorryto hear ds has cancer 💐💐

Life is cruel

I did wonder if was cancer as sounded similar to what my cousin had to go through with their child

I totally understand your quandary. My little one has a similar serious illness which had resulted in many hospital admissions, and holding her down for bloods and cannula more times than I can remember.

Knowing that it's going to be the same for many years, we are desperate to try to minimise the trauma.

My take on this is:

• that medicine MUST go in. If truly the only way is brute force, then so be it.

• age appropriate honesty is really important. I won't lie to my 3yo. I don't conceal medicines either. She has medicine in a drink, but we make it taste good, and she knows why she needs to drink it. It's more for comfort than lifesaving though. If i lie to get about something, she may not trust me, and I need her to feel safe with me.

• talk to the hospital and play therapist, they may be able to help.

• depending on your child, a NG tube may not be better. Mine was fine with her tube (and it was great for getting medicine in easily) but so many kids pull them out, and then you are back to holding them still whilst they put it back in etc, which is unpleasant. Replacing the sticker even, involved holding her in a blanket so she couldn't move and then holding her head still.

• find out how small the tablet versions are, and whether training would work at this age. We are about to start this with my child, but she is older.

You are doing your best. It's an awful situation, and you aren't going to get everything perfect. There probably isn't a perfect way to deal with this. The this thing is that he is young enough that taking his medicines should end up being as much a part of his routine as brushing his teeth.

Best of luck

my heart is with you-this is so hard.
i didnt try this-but popped into my head.i always call the medicine skoosher the syringe. but my head thinks-its a needle.
what bout-easy/quick grow seeds-on blotting paper?...lil one squeezes-puts under the light etc..rapid response buds..
slow it down as required/nurture/even on the bad days?
i wish you all the love in the world....

Hi Calmondeck, and my sympathies to you all going through this. I also had to give my two year old dd lots of oral meds for years as part of her leukaemia treatment.
Some tasted foul and were also quite big, we used yoghurt or jam to help the tablets slip down, which worked initially but then she refused and we had the whole battle ongoing, just as you are now.
We had no option but to force them down, which was traumatic for all involved, but once she realised that it was non negotiable she took her tablets with no issues, in fact she was very good about taking them! She would choose which to take first, and was always relieved when the big horrible one went down!
You need to do what has to be done, if you can manage with other methods then that's great, but we found it just prolonged the avoidance and made a bigger issue of it all. If you do need to be firm then remember that you are doing it for the right reasons and you are doing everything to the best you can; parenting is hard enough without serious illnesses to deal with, I'm sure he'll be taking his meds with a lot less bother soon enough, good luck with it all!

Pleasure, and good luck with all of it.

My eldest (now 4) has literally always refused medicine, from calpol to antibiotics and hiding it in food was unsuccessful as was pinning him down as the results were same as you. We made him a small cup of juice or milkshake to disguise it and small enough for him to finish the whole thing relatively straight away

I’m sorry to hear of your DC’s health concerns OP. My DD is 16 months and has been diagnosed with severe asthma - this is more serious than it sounds resulting in 6 serious hospital admissions since October and a life-threatening attack last month which almost landed her in picu. I’ve found with her daily inhalers and medication it really is easiest to just pin her down and administer them. It is awful and at the start she used to scream blue murder and I never thought she would accept them but now the majority of the time she is happy to accept her inhalers and medications. It has taken months though and isn’t always successful, sometimes she decides not to cooperate but
on the whole she has learnt to accept and hopefully your DS will too. Now is the time to introduce chocolate buttons/Milky Way magic stars and give a couple after each time they get their medicine! Honestly it works so well and is forgotten about instantly. Good luck to you all x

Actually no, it isn't in the OP - it doesn't say they have tried squirting with a syringe. Your central premise is mistaken.