AIBU To refuse to hold down toddler to force in medicine

[Calmondeck]

DH & I are at loggerheads - our DS is refusing to take required oral syrup medication (daily). DH believes the most respectful thing to do is explain to DS why it’s necessary he swallow the syrup, and then both hold him down while we force the liquid inside/him to swallow. I think this is too traumatising (the medication is required for the next 10 months at least) and we should try disguising it in foods (this has been mostly unsuccessful to date). DH says it’s deceitful to do this. DS is 22 months old.

So far, forcing him down has result in vomiting and/or him spitting it out.

AIBU to refuse to participate in holding our son down?

When my oldest was a toddler, I used to syringe the dose into an Ella’s kitchen fruit pouch as he would just suck the whole thing down straight from the pouch so I knew he was getting the whole dose.

You have my sympathy - once he was about 4 it stopped being an issue as he understood he had to take medicine sometimes so concealing it when he was little didn’t cause any long last issues.

He’s 2, have your tried teaching him to take tablets?

start with peas, sweetcorn, tictacs.

mine would never take oral medicine so I taught them very early to swallow tabs.

alternatively have you asked if there’s a rectal preparation?

Syringe.
Reward chart.
Be firm but kind.
Try to make it less of a big thing if you can,I know it's so very difficult,but the quicker you can be and the less fuss made,the dc will take the lead from you.🌈
good luck.

You say you've tried disguising it in for and that hasn't worked. So you have to force him to take it unless you have a third idea?

It's called parenting - doing what's best for your child, even when that's hard.

We had to do that with DS when he was started on Movicol - syringing 120ml into him was pretty awful at the beginning, but he stopped fighting it after a couple of days and now has it without a peep. I hated forcing him, but I hated the idea of him being in pain or having lifelong bowel issues far more.

Chocolate straight after to take away the taste? It's hard but like pp said if you angle the syringe it goes straight to the back

I'm with your DH

My DH said we couldn't force DC to do the same and voiced this to an A&E dr. Dr pointed out if DC didn't have it and deteriorated they would object much more to blood tests and and IV.

Cruel to be kind x

It's shit and distressing but he needs it so I'm with your DH on this one. My daughter is the same age and has to have daily injections and when I say giving those is traumatising it's horrendous, same as when she has to have her blood taken regularly, it's absolute hell so I can definitely sympathise. It's crazy how fast they can go to angelic to pure exorcist and still pull your heart strings. Hopefully as he gets used to it things will improve.

Can your husband take over for now until things settle a bit? Any scope for this medication being prescribed in any other form? I know that for some meds you can get suppositories or have it in a powder form so it can be more easily disguised?

We did this with ds, after battling with liquid antibiotics. And yes, we started with tic tacs! It made the whole medication process much easier.

I’ve held DC down and forced medicine into them before but it was for a relatively short time period not 10 months. They like your child gagged and vomited the medication up so even that wasn’t successful.

I second the PP that suggested tablet form. We went back to the Drs and had tablets instead and it was a hundred times easier. Even if it was a little difficult at first they didn’t become distressed and were willing to try again.

We’d have a squeezy yoghurt ready to go, pop the tablet in their mouth and then straight in with the yoghurt which washed it down nicely.

Hiding in food is totally fine is it works.

If it doesn’t, holding them down and forcing it in is also perfectly acceptable. It’s part of parenting.

Slightly different but DS needed inhalers from fairly young. He hated it, screamed cried etc.
we held him down and then gave chocolate afterwards. Eventually he started getting used to it and now manages all his asthma meds himself at 8 years old.

He would have died without the meds.

If your DS needs the meds you'll have to give them to him. In the nicest possible way what do you think will happen if you don't give them? He might get worse and need hospital treatment which could end up being more traumatic

Neither works...

Hi OP don't know if you listen to Dr Becky but it sounds like you guys are trying to do respectful parenting? I just listened to her talk through how to navigate this exact kind of situation. I think she has an elegant solution which involves both keeping your kid safe and also making room.for his feelings. Heres the episode if you want to listen

open.spotify.com/episode/2OgEHDv1xa5UdTubyRCnQg?si=kOrzxF6qSfuHtz10qWGOYw

If forcing is the only way then it needs to be done. My daughter had to have regular medication and when she was a toddler she would point blank refuse. We tried to disguise it but if anything tasted slightly wrong she would refuse and spit it out. She because dehydrated easily which made things worse as if she tasted anything off she would refuse to eat or drink the rest of the day.

we HAD to force medication into her. Had we not done so she would have spent months and months in hospital rather than a few days every few months.

Be a parent, if your child needs medication and if forcing is the only way you just need to get on with it.

in regards to paracetamol, you can get this as a suppository should you need it.

Thankfully, my daughter eventually grew out of not wanting to take anything and she will happily take everything prescribed to her

Ask the pharmacist if it can be mixed in food and if so ask what's best to disguise it . If they don't know then post the exact medication name on here and plenty of people will no doubt have been there before you. I usually try the best thing to disguise it but accept they will probably know it's there so bribe with something like a chocolate button once they've had it. If he wants to pin a child down daily then leave him to it.

Means to an end

He needs it. So sometimes yes have to pin down or hold with head lower so gravity helps and squirt in mouth

I was taught by a nurse to give the medication (that my dc refused to swallow because it was vile) when my dc was asleep using a syringe, just squirt tiny bits of it toward their cheek and they should just swallow it. Bit like a dream feed.

Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do as a parent

Like the covid tests. Dd4 then didn't like them but had to have them for school and pcr

Many of her friends parents said didn't like it so stopped doing it when we were asked as a class to do

And? They asked what OP is suggesting and you made a catty and hypocritical response. You made yourself look stupid and you owe @ReluctantAdult1 an apology. Their comment didn’t indicate that they haven’t read the OP properly whilst yours does.

We had to use bribery for daily meds at a similar age. Forcing didn’t work as my DC also vomited. So it was pointless. I’d definitely try bribery. We gave a chocolate button before the medicine and 2 afterwards.

I agree with your husband. In food is unreliable and complicated for liquids. Yoghurt is good for tablets though. Lots of discussion and explaining. Bribery with chocolate buttons.

if you’ve got to do this for 10 months I think you need advice from the doctors re compliance as they may be able to change or try you on a tablet form instead. Some children are more difficult than others and if you can’t do it now, it’ll break you trying for months.

My first child could be held down and take it quickly via a syringe and then from about 3 could be bribed with haribo. My second is a different story. She resists and there is a massive difference between a child that is being easily restrained for medicine and one that is beyond that. The last lot of antibiotics were so hard to get down. I had a taste and they were like neat vodka so I can see why she didn’t like the taste. I don’t know why they don’t make children’s medicine more palatable as it’s clearly an issue for a lot of small ones. I’d much rather crush and hide a tablet for future scrips rather than taking the liquid.

Often you have to be cruel to be kind. It’s not beneficial in the long run to be your child’s friend rather than the parent.
Clearly it doesn’t work disguising it in good so it’s not a valid option.
You just have to make him take it, toddlers are resilient and he will quickly get used to it.
My toddler kicked and struggles and screamed when I had to do her multiple inhalers to begin with, it would have been ver easy to say ‘too bad it’s too hard’ but it was important she got the medication or she would never be discharged from hospital.
If your child requires medicine for 10 months it’s obviously fairly serious. You need to take it serious as a parent and make it work.
Do the medicine, have raisins or juice ready after and after several days of being firm and consistent it will be much easier.