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Original poster

Not sure how or if to put this right

525 replies

Smartieshavesomeanswers · 09/03/2023 16:13

A bit of a long one here, and changed n as me so it can’t be linked back to my other posts…
Behind the housing estate where I live is a lovely big field known as the football field, all the local kids head there at the weekend for a kick about and play. It is a proper field though- not a rec or anything.

Anyway me and my boys were there a few weekends ago and there was a woman walking her dog off lead. It stopped for a shit and she carried on walking and didn’t pick it up. I shouted over and told her to pick it up, and she just carried on walking. I headed over and cut her off and told her to go and pick up her dogs mess. She told me she’d go back for it later and to mind my own business and went to walk off. I did at this point block her way (probably a mistake in retrospect) and told her kids were playing and it was disgusting. She replied that it wouldn’t be a problem if my kids stayed on the footpath and it was her field. Anyway I made her pick it up and thought that was the end of it.

anyway we went to go over there at the weekend and there is now electric fence up either side of the path, all properly signed and everything, and I’ve heard on the grapevine my neighbours are furious that the kids can’t play there anymore. Apparently a few have spoken with the lady (she does actually own it-what are the chances?) and she is saying that she felt frightened and intimidated by someone, and now doesn’t want the kids using it any more and is going to move some of her sheep in there once it’s had a ‘rest’ I think this is just an excuse to justify the fence.

she hasn’t mentioned me, but I am worried if it gets out it was me my neighbours will be really angry. Should I find her and apologise? Apparently she just heads round the field once a day with a scooper to tidy it, all my neighbours seem to think she is gods gift even doing this. Was I in the wrong? I really think I have dropped a clanger here, what should I do?

OP posts:
neilyoungismyhero · 09/03/2023 16:21

Little bit OTT reactions from both of you really but as she's paid out a fairly considerable amount of money on the electric fence I don't think anything you say is going to reverse the situation now. It's certainly a shame for the children though.

Mamamia7962 · 09/03/2023 16:21

Well she could have said at the time that she owned the field but she didn't. I would just keep quiet. Maybe she was thinking of putting the sheep on there anyway and you have given her the perfect 'excuse'. I wouldn't worry about it.

Oh and well done for confronting her about cleaning up after her dogs.

Mamamia7962 · 09/03/2023 16:23

Sorry just read your post again, and see that she did say it was her field.

Original poster
Smartieshavesomeanswers · 09/03/2023 16:23

She did say it was her field I just thought she was having me on, thats why I made her pick it up-if I’d believed her then I wouldn’t have bothered. What are the chances that she actually did?!?

OP posts:
Rainn21 · 09/03/2023 16:26

Non issue - land owner doesn’t want you on her land anymore because you intimated her. Find somewhere else for the kids to play.

Original poster
Smartieshavesomeanswers · 09/03/2023 16:26

@neilyoungismyhero it is quite old fencing by the looks of it-I think they’ve just moved it from elsewhere on the farm. I don’t think she’s actually spent any money. Hopefully she’ll take it down when she’s calmed down!

OP posts:
FoxInSocksSatOnBlocks · 09/03/2023 16:27

In figure maybe don’t intimidate people?

FoxInSocksSatOnBlocks · 09/03/2023 16:27

*future

Mamamia7962 · 09/03/2023 16:29

The OP didn't intimidate her. She didn't know she owned the field so asked her to clean up after her dog, and just made sure she did. I am a dog owner and I wish more people were like the OP.

D20 · 09/03/2023 16:29

Oops OP. I doubt she’s going to take the fence down now but I probably would have done the same as you.

What does the field need a rest from though before the sheep go in?

MamaCanYouBuyMeABanana · 09/03/2023 16:29

You intimidated a woman on her private field that she kindly allowed others to play on?

You fucked up, and you sound like a bully.

Lesson learned, hope your neighbours don't find out it was you.

themonkeysnuts · 09/03/2023 16:29

well you cocked that up, her field her dog shit
no more kids playground

Rustpail · 09/03/2023 16:35

@Mamamia7962 I am not sure how you came to the conclusion the OP didn't intimidate her, by her own admission she blocked her way and then refused to allow her to go on her way until she'd picked it up.

kikedog · 09/03/2023 16:40

You can maybe apologise, but she's probably had this before and is just done with getting grief from people. You can see from the comments here some people think you are right for telling her- it doesn't really matter either way, she doesn't want to hear it so has decided to stop the access. Cross your fingers that no one finds out that it was you and move on

WinterMusings · 09/03/2023 16:42

Ell, you still sound like you've not learning any lessons from this & still think she's to blame.

she told you she'd pick it up later.
she hinted at her annoyance with the kids
she told you it was her field.

you threatened & intimidated her.

she's now made it bloody clear it's hers & that she doesn't want kids & their gobby intimidating parents telling her what to do on her field.

your lucky she's stopped short of naming you frankly!

own up or shut up, but don't go around to hers to ask her to remove her electric fence so your kid can play in her field when you were such a bully.

you need to learn some manners.

GlassBunion · 09/03/2023 16:44

So you intimidated her , in her own field, by blocking her and forcing her to pick her dogs poo, from HER OWN FIELD?!

She told you it was her field. People don't just lie about owning a field, now you've blown it for everyone else.

Nicely done.

gwenneh · 09/03/2023 16:44

D20 · 09/03/2023 16:29

Oops OP. I doubt she’s going to take the fence down now but I probably would have done the same as you.

What does the field need a rest from though before the sheep go in?

Since it's winter, probably from weather. If the field's too muddy and you put livestock in, the grazing will be destroyed.

Original poster
Smartieshavesomeanswers · 09/03/2023 16:44

I don’t know what the rest means- it’s just what I was told. I commented to a neighbour that the fence seemed spiteful and they said that since her husband died the lady had enjoyed letting the kids play there, but now no longer felt safe after an ‘altercation’ on her land about a dog so they were moving the sheep down there once it had rested. I didn’t want to say anything, but thought the wording was a bit strong! Maybe a previous poster is right and it wasn’t just me who had said something to her.

OP posts:
TempName247 · 09/03/2023 16:44

I think if I were you I would post a letter with a massive apology for not realising she owned the field and maybe some flowers or something as well. Do not mention the fence or it’s removal.

HiccupHorrendousHaddock · 09/03/2023 16:47

Bloody hell! You and your children were trespassing on her property, blocked her way while insisting she remove the dog muck and called her “disgusting”! I don’t blame her for wanting to put up a fence after that.

That wasn’t a public park, you really overstepped.

LadyKenya · 09/03/2023 16:49

You made her pick up her dog mess. Pointing it out to her is one thing, blocking her way is completely another. Would you have been so bold if it had been a man who had done the same, I wonder.

HiccupHorrendousHaddock · 09/03/2023 16:50

but now no longer felt safe after an ‘altercation’ on her land about a dog so they were moving the sheep down there once it had rested

It gets worse - she’s widowed and feels unsafe after you had a go at her? You owe this woman a massive apology, regardless of the kids’ access to the field to play.

MamaCanYouBuyMeABanana · 09/03/2023 16:51

Smartieshavesomeanswers · 09/03/2023 16:44

I don’t know what the rest means- it’s just what I was told. I commented to a neighbour that the fence seemed spiteful and they said that since her husband died the lady had enjoyed letting the kids play there, but now no longer felt safe after an ‘altercation’ on her land about a dog so they were moving the sheep down there once it had rested. I didn’t want to say anything, but thought the wording was a bit strong! Maybe a previous poster is right and it wasn’t just me who had said something to her.

You blocked her way, called her disgusting, and 'made' her pick up the mess her dog made on her field.

She isnt being spiteful, nor was her language around your awful behaviour 'a bit strong'.

She was scared and has responded appropriately to being physically intimidated in her own field.

IhearyouClemFandango · 09/03/2023 16:51

WinterMusings · 09/03/2023 16:42

Ell, you still sound like you've not learning any lessons from this & still think she's to blame.

she told you she'd pick it up later.
she hinted at her annoyance with the kids
she told you it was her field.

you threatened & intimidated her.

she's now made it bloody clear it's hers & that she doesn't want kids & their gobby intimidating parents telling her what to do on her field.

your lucky she's stopped short of naming you frankly!

own up or shut up, but don't go around to hers to ask her to remove her electric fence so your kid can play in her field when you were such a bully.

you need to learn some manners.

This.

You clearly don't think you were in the wrong, but should perhaps stop throwing your weight around

IhearyouClemFandango · 09/03/2023 16:52

You can't go blocking people's paths and demanding they do things, whether they own a field or not.