A bit of a long one here, and changed n as me so it can’t be linked back to my other posts…
Behind the housing estate where I live is a lovely big field known as the football field, all the local kids head there at the weekend for a kick about and play. It is a proper field though- not a rec or anything.
Anyway me and my boys were there a few weekends ago and there was a woman walking her dog off lead. It stopped for a shit and she carried on walking and didn’t pick it up. I shouted over and told her to pick it up, and she just carried on walking. I headed over and cut her off and told her to go and pick up her dogs mess. She told me she’d go back for it later and to mind my own business and went to walk off. I did at this point block her way (probably a mistake in retrospect) and told her kids were playing and it was disgusting. She replied that it wouldn’t be a problem if my kids stayed on the footpath and it was her field. Anyway I made her pick it up and thought that was the end of it.
anyway we went to go over there at the weekend and there is now electric fence up either side of the path, all properly signed and everything, and I’ve heard on the grapevine my neighbours are furious that the kids can’t play there anymore. Apparently a few have spoken with the lady (she does actually own it-what are the chances?) and she is saying that she felt frightened and intimidated by someone, and now doesn’t want the kids using it any more and is going to move some of her sheep in there once it’s had a ‘rest’ I think this is just an excuse to justify the fence.
she hasn’t mentioned me, but I am worried if it gets out it was me my neighbours will be really angry. Should I find her and apologise? Apparently she just heads round the field once a day with a scooper to tidy it, all my neighbours seem to think she is gods gift even doing this. Was I in the wrong? I really think I have dropped a clanger here, what should I do?
AIBU?
Not sure how or if to put this right
Smartieshavesomeanswers · 09/03/2023 16:13
Am I being unreasonable?
964 votes. Final results.
POLLD20 · 09/03/2023 16:29
Oops OP. I doubt she’s going to take the fence down now but I probably would have done the same as you.
What does the field need a rest from though before the sheep go in?
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Smartieshavesomeanswers · 09/03/2023 16:44
I don’t know what the rest means- it’s just what I was told. I commented to a neighbour that the fence seemed spiteful and they said that since her husband died the lady had enjoyed letting the kids play there, but now no longer felt safe after an ‘altercation’ on her land about a dog so they were moving the sheep down there once it had rested. I didn’t want to say anything, but thought the wording was a bit strong! Maybe a previous poster is right and it wasn’t just me who had said something to her.
WinterMusings · 09/03/2023 16:42
Ell, you still sound like you've not learning any lessons from this & still think she's to blame.
she told you she'd pick it up later.
she hinted at her annoyance with the kids
she told you it was her field.
you threatened & intimidated her.
she's now made it bloody clear it's hers & that she doesn't want kids & their gobby intimidating parents telling her what to do on her field.
your lucky she's stopped short of naming you frankly!
own up or shut up, but don't go around to hers to ask her to remove her electric fence so your kid can play in her field when you were such a bully.
you need to learn some manners.
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