Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not sure how or if to put this right

525 replies

Smartieshavesomeanswers · 09/03/2023 16:13

A bit of a long one here, and changed n as me so it can’t be linked back to my other posts…
Behind the housing estate where I live is a lovely big field known as the football field, all the local kids head there at the weekend for a kick about and play. It is a proper field though- not a rec or anything.

Anyway me and my boys were there a few weekends ago and there was a woman walking her dog off lead. It stopped for a shit and she carried on walking and didn’t pick it up. I shouted over and told her to pick it up, and she just carried on walking. I headed over and cut her off and told her to go and pick up her dogs mess. She told me she’d go back for it later and to mind my own business and went to walk off. I did at this point block her way (probably a mistake in retrospect) and told her kids were playing and it was disgusting. She replied that it wouldn’t be a problem if my kids stayed on the footpath and it was her field. Anyway I made her pick it up and thought that was the end of it.

anyway we went to go over there at the weekend and there is now electric fence up either side of the path, all properly signed and everything, and I’ve heard on the grapevine my neighbours are furious that the kids can’t play there anymore. Apparently a few have spoken with the lady (she does actually own it-what are the chances?) and she is saying that she felt frightened and intimidated by someone, and now doesn’t want the kids using it any more and is going to move some of her sheep in there once it’s had a ‘rest’ I think this is just an excuse to justify the fence.

she hasn’t mentioned me, but I am worried if it gets out it was me my neighbours will be really angry. Should I find her and apologise? Apparently she just heads round the field once a day with a scooper to tidy it, all my neighbours seem to think she is gods gift even doing this. Was I in the wrong? I really think I have dropped a clanger here, what should I do?

OP posts:
Timeforachangeisitnot · 09/03/2023 18:54

BadNomad · 09/03/2023 18:50

It's illegal to not pick up dog poo on your own property?

No it’s not. Well it is in Mumsnet.
I would because chances are I would be the one stepping in it. But Lady Farmer was in no way in the wrong. I hope I would have been a bit more forceful in telling OP to Fuck off but that may depend on how I assessed her as a threat, clearly this Lady Farmer assessed OP as a threat.

BadNomad · 09/03/2023 18:56

Yeah, the dog poo rule only covers "public places", not random fields or private property. So even if she didn't own that field, she still wasn't legally required to lift her dog's mess.

  • roads, pavements and public footpaths
  • parks and green spaces
  • town centres and shopping precincts
  • car parks
  • playing fields, playgrounds and school grounds
OliveToboogie · 09/03/2023 19:01

You have totally messed up on this. You jumped in without knowing the facts and it has come back to bite you big time. You are lucky she hasn't told ppl it was you.

Either say nothing and hope for the best or "own your shit" as we say in Glasgow. Put on big girl pants and go apologise for your reaction to her on her own property.

TaRaDeBumDeAy · 09/03/2023 19:03

I hope the town find out it was you op. Everyone should know what a bully you are so they can avoid you.

juliettesmother · 09/03/2023 19:04

Oh dear. You really mucked up

miraveille · 09/03/2023 19:06

Who did you think owned the field OP? The council? Who?

Original poster
Smartieshavesomeanswers · 09/03/2023 19:08

Just to be clear the field is always immaculate which is why I was so annoyed. Apparently she goes around with a grabber thing some evenings and picks up any shit and any litter. I think she is one of those community saints that you hear about that everyone puts on a pedestal which is why I don’t want people to find out it was me and just want the football field back.
I think I might just tell her that because she does such a good job of keeping it nice for the kids I was upset that someone wasn’t looking after it properly, I’ll take your points on board and get it printed in a card and send it rather than going round.

OP posts:
GoodChat · 09/03/2023 19:09

Don't turn up at her front door. She's said you intimidated her. Leave her alone. At most, write her an apologetic letter and then leave it.

The kids aren't getting their playing field back.

GoodChat · 09/03/2023 19:10

Smartieshavesomeanswers · 09/03/2023 19:08

Just to be clear the field is always immaculate which is why I was so annoyed. Apparently she goes around with a grabber thing some evenings and picks up any shit and any litter. I think she is one of those community saints that you hear about that everyone puts on a pedestal which is why I don’t want people to find out it was me and just want the football field back.
I think I might just tell her that because she does such a good job of keeping it nice for the kids I was upset that someone wasn’t looking after it properly, I’ll take your points on board and get it printed in a card and send it rather than going round.

are you really still trying to justify your behaviour?!

FoxInSocksSatOnBlocks · 09/03/2023 19:12

Smartieshavesomeanswers · 09/03/2023 19:08

Just to be clear the field is always immaculate which is why I was so annoyed. Apparently she goes around with a grabber thing some evenings and picks up any shit and any litter. I think she is one of those community saints that you hear about that everyone puts on a pedestal which is why I don’t want people to find out it was me and just want the football field back.
I think I might just tell her that because she does such a good job of keeping it nice for the kids I was upset that someone wasn’t looking after it properly, I’ll take your points on board and get it printed in a card and send it rather than going round.

Wow. Everyone will find out it was you and so they should.

callthataspade · 09/03/2023 19:13

Poor woman. You sound fucking awful

Every post makes you sound even worse

Oh she's a 'saint on a pedestal' Is she? Frankly I think she is. She's allowed your fucking rabble onto her field free of charge for years. Gets treated like shit. And even when people tell you you're being a dickhead you still continue to make out like she's the one with the problem

Hope she puts some fucking irate bulls on the field.

Undisclosedlocation · 09/03/2023 19:14

well that sounds like the complete opposite of ‘taking comments on board’

Justifying your actions , sneering at the ‘community saint’ and still expecting access to the bloody field. lets hope it’s your writing style

if not and people find out this was your doing, you will be a pariah. With good reason

Karma’s a bitch eh?

3ormoredogs · 09/03/2023 19:14

You really don’t need it back.

Its her field. She’s made it clear she wants to use it now because of your actions.

Leave her alone!

AnotherForumUser · 09/03/2023 19:16

mybunniesandme · 09/03/2023 18:31

The thing is you don't actually sound sorry or contrite about it

First post was about how you are worried your neighbours will find out it's you

Second post was bleating on about what kind of fence she has used

Third post was full of self entitlement that said fence was "spiteful"

Last post "we need to get it back"

Honestly you sound like a bloody self centred selfish entitled ex city dweller

There is nothing to get back. It wasnt yours in the first place and you had use of it by her good grace

You don't actually sound sorry at all and your apology quite frankly if you did go round to see her is shallow and self serving

This. I have a few fields and would normally be happy for people to responsibly enjoy those without crops (and yes grass is a crop-while football and games can damage grass crops). If any gobshite tried to intimidate me for whatever reason on my land I would ensure they didn't get the benefit of my property anymore. Here we have a bully whining about how the dog owner didn't look like a landowner (WTF! a clear indication that the OP is happy to intimidate older women on their own), whining about the field no longer being available for her offspring (a privately owned field), whining about the new fencing being a spiteful act and only worried about being found out by others who had peacefully enjoyed the field. I hope she makes the OP's name public if the OP persists with her self serving attempt to wheedle or intimidate the landowner into removing her fencing.

IhearyouClemFandango · 09/03/2023 19:20

Wow, you're still not at all remorseful are you? Nice job intimidating the local 'community saint' that you're so scathing of.

She's clearly done with not only having to go round and pick up other people's litter once they've finished on her field, but getting pushed around by the local bully.

BadNomad · 09/03/2023 19:21

No good deed goes unpunished, as they say.

Undisclosedlocation · 09/03/2023 19:22

I think it’s a measure of how genuinely nice the land owner is that she hasn’t released the OPs name. From everything that’s been written here it’s way, way more than the OP deserves

whatadayforadaydream · 09/03/2023 19:25

Now you sound like you are looking down on her for keeping her field nice. Anyway if you knew she personally did all that why did you not recognise it was her field? So odd.

you fucked up op, you were rude abd aggressive and in the wrong, and now you are suffering the consequences- along with everyone else. Frankly I hope your neighbours do find out what happened. Clearly the lady is being very kind to not tell them, which I am not sure i would have been if I had received the same treatment.

diddl · 09/03/2023 19:26

Undisclosedlocation · 09/03/2023 19:22

I think it’s a measure of how genuinely nice the land owner is that she hasn’t released the OPs name. From everything that’s been written here it’s way, way more than the OP deserves

Maybe she's worried of consequences if she did?

diddl · 09/03/2023 19:27

Are you new there Op?

How come others know who owns the field?

butterfliedtwo · 09/03/2023 19:29

Smartieshavesomeanswers · 09/03/2023 19:08

Just to be clear the field is always immaculate which is why I was so annoyed. Apparently she goes around with a grabber thing some evenings and picks up any shit and any litter. I think she is one of those community saints that you hear about that everyone puts on a pedestal which is why I don’t want people to find out it was me and just want the football field back.
I think I might just tell her that because she does such a good job of keeping it nice for the kids I was upset that someone wasn’t looking after it properly, I’ll take your points on board and get it printed in a card and send it rather than going round.

You just keep digging, don't you? You sound so unpleasant.

SlipSlidinAway · 09/03/2023 19:30

I think she is one of those community saints that you hear about that everyone puts on a pedestal

Wow. You really don't get it do you.

InfluencerHag · 09/03/2023 19:32

Starting to think this is a hairy one.

Mumoftwogirls23 · 09/03/2023 19:34

Sorry, but this is absolutely ridiculous. The way you treated that woman was a disgrace. No wonder she reacted the way she did. I wouldn’t want someone coming up to me like that!

amiold · 09/03/2023 19:35

"I made her pick it up" "I blocked her path"

You'll end up getting yourself a dig one day rocky balboa ...now you've ruined it for everyone.

Swipe left for the next trending thread