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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To suggest putting trousers on to go out in the snow

347 replies

Shebelievedshecouldbutshecba · 08/03/2023 19:49

DS was being taken to football today. Was in football kit ready to go. DH asked him to put trousers on before getting in the car, given it was snowing. DS refused point blank. DH said he wasn’t taking him unless he put the trousers on. I agreed. DS refused, so DH wouldn’t take him and we now have had a 2h tantrum (with screaming) about what awful parents we are.

WWBU? I don’t think we were. Would have taken him less than a minute to put the trousers on, the consequence of not doing so was clearly laid out, and then we followed through with the consequence.

And any guesses how old DS is?

OP posts:
CatMattress · 08/03/2023 19:51

Give him the warning but natural consequences, to me, are he gets freezing legs. I think you were being overly harsh and he's upset at the loss of autonomy. I suspect late primary age?

My 11 year old is currently wearing shorts to school. It's his body. All I can do is advise.

Okunevo · 08/03/2023 19:51

Would have to be very young to not be allowed to decide for himself, 4?

Maray1967 · 08/03/2023 19:52

5? Although I fear you might respond with 10/11!
Hopefully he’ll learn and do as he’s told next week. I did similar once although mine stripped for a bit and calmed down.

Maray1967 · 08/03/2023 19:53

Stropped!!

Bettyboop3 · 08/03/2023 19:53

I think you need to pick your battles. Nobody was affected but him by the lack of trousers. Presumably he wouldn't have worn the trousers to play football anyway?

icypompoms · 08/03/2023 19:53

Tbh and I say this gently... I think you were being unreasonable. Surely he'd be playing in shorts at football anyway.

You've got a child who is actively engaged in a sport and you have put a barrier in his way to go and do that sport.

You've died on the wrong hill in my opinion.

I bet you'll say he's 15 or something. Even worse if so as getting teens away from screens and into the fresh air is even harder to achieve so let him go and be cold and then he'll learn the natural consequences of his actions. If he's not cold then great he's played football.

handsoffate · 08/03/2023 19:53

Five? Any older and I would have let them live with the consequences of cold legs.

Quveas · 08/03/2023 19:54

Still trying to work out how old you and DH are.

Maray1967 · 08/03/2023 19:54

Mine was 5.

TheRookie · 08/03/2023 19:54

Pick your battles!

hidethexylophone · 08/03/2023 19:54

Honestly, I think YABU. I'd have let him make the decision as to whether to wear trousers. What's the worst that's going to happen?

Natural consequences - he wears shorts, he gets cold legs. Not the end of the world. Although if anything like my kids, they don't feel the cold, especially when running around playing football. Wouldn't be a hill I'd choose to die on.

CreepyDibillo · 08/03/2023 19:54

YABU. If his legs get cold, he won't do it again, will he?
Plus, some people, even kids, prefer to wear shorts for sports (or anything else) no matter the weather. My husband has been one of those people since he was a boy.

CraigLawyerLifeguardPomeroy · 08/03/2023 19:55

He will be playing in the shorts though? Seems dramatic from everyone, your son and dh.

UdoU · 08/03/2023 19:55

9?

Okunevo · 08/03/2023 19:55

They wear long socks anyway, and schoolboys used to wear shorts and long socks year round.

icypompoms · 08/03/2023 19:56

I'm sticking with my guess that he's a teenager. He probably kicked off badly as he was so frustrated at having no say on something that's only about himself. He's not hurting anyone and I bet he was tamping.

megletthesecond · 08/03/2023 19:57

Yabu. Active healthy kids and adults (little and big) are fine in shorts for an activity this time of year. He wasn't going to freeze to death. Even kids with sensory issues muddle through.

My kids wore shorts all year round in primary and have asked their secondaries for shorts too.

Lykia · 08/03/2023 19:57

YABU I say this as my teenage dc insisted on walking home from school, over a mile, in a flimsy lightweight jacket despite me offering to pick them up.

I offered, they refused. I let them walk.

HermioneHerman · 08/03/2023 19:58

I would just have given mine a blanket for his legs for the car journey as a compromise so if he felt cold, his choice to cover up. My boys are 7 and 9.

Siameasy · 08/03/2023 19:58

Yabu many kids including mine don’t seem to feel the cold at all. Pick your battles. My DSis runs round after her 6 year old when it’s not even that cold insisting on the child’s coat being on. Such a killjoy. Poor kid can’t relax.

PinkyFlamingo · 08/03/2023 19:58

Tapk about causing a drama over nothing! What difference woukd it make him having shorts on, no matter what age he is its his legs, not yours or DHs that would be cold.

mynameiscalypso · 08/03/2023 19:58

I would not have fought this battle personally. Plus, despite snow, it wasn't actually that cold today.

QuinkWashable · 08/03/2023 19:59

I would have told them that I really thought they should put trousers on, but on their head be it. (If they were under about 8 I would have packed some secretly incase they sheepishly changed their mind)

But my kids learn better when they experience the consequences of their own actions :)

dementedpixie · 08/03/2023 19:59

My ds wore shorts to primary school for several years including on snowy days (we're in Scotland). I dont see the big deal about having shorts on tbh

pristinesurfacesGBTD · 08/03/2023 19:59

What a silly argument. Let him go out in shorts and learn for himself. You could have popped a pair of trousers in his bag or something in case he needed them. You need to chill, you've got years of this shit to go.