To find the suburbs a bit depressing?

[StripeyNighty]

I know I’ll get flamed for this, but I really do always feel depressed when I visit city suburbs that friends and family live in, and they’re spread around the country so I can’t even say it’s one particular place.

We visited some friends at the weekend who have recently moved to the suburbs of a medium sized city. Honestly, after 2 days I felt so depressed, yes the weather wasn’t great which doesn’t help as nowhere looks great in grey, gloomy weather but, as usual, it was just rows and rows and rows of almost identikit housing, interspersed with the odd kebab shop, Tesco express and laundrette.

We took their dog for a walk in their local park on the Saturday, it was heaving, dogs and kids everywhere, we witnessed a fight between 2 dogs and then their owners (though that wasn’t physical thank god) I’m not surprised to be honest as there was just no space for people or dogs to get away from one another. It just felt so busy and oppressive.

The traffic was so heavy all day and night, going in and out of the city. We went out into the city on the Saturday night and had to get taxis anyway as they’re nearly 3 miles out of the city and too cold to walk there and back in the eve.

The house prices in those suburbs are pretty extortionate and friends were sort of bragging that they now live in the area, I made all the right noises as horses for courses, but I just kept thinking how is this worth all that money, everyone on top of each other, no nice scenery or culture and putting up with the traffic and poor air quality and the same 2.4 children, SUV type set up everywhere!

I said to DH on the way home, I feel depressed and he joked ‘you always do when we go to suburbia’ and he’s right. Does anyone else feel that way 😳

Right... where do you live? I can't work out if you hate it because you live in a trendy London loft or a farmhouse in West Wales.

To add, I don’t get the same feeling in towns and cities.

Each to their own but I live in a suburb and I'm currently watching deer graze in the field of the farm opposite my home, and if I go into the kitchen I have a great view of hills. There's also a stream opposite.

I love being able to get away from the city when I want to, but still be close enough to easily access it.

I wouldn't care to live in one of those estates that's pretty much on the motorway with nothing round about it but I'm sure it suits others, but there's more to suburbia than that.

I'm the same. We live in a flat right in the city centre (8 minute walk). We could buy a house 3 miles out for the same money but I don't want to.

It totally depends on the suburb. Some suburbs can indeed be very bland and samey with rows and rows of identical housing, some are charming, well-kept secrets.

Increasingly I actually think the suburbs in many big cities are actually more buzzy and interesting than some inner city areas.

Particularly in London unless you're a millionaire most people can't afford to live in the inner city. Where I live (S London suburbs) is really nice: it's greener than central London or the inner suburbs but not so hideously gentrified that normal people can't live there and quirky and full of character. Good shops and amenities, good transport links and enough to do that you don't actually have to go into C London much. I dare say there are similar suburbs in other UK cities.

I've just moved from the suburbs of a popular SE commuter town, to a nearby small city centre and oh I know exactly what you mean. It feels boring but stiffling at the same time.

Love the city life. Walk everywhere. Nobody nosing at your business. Lots to see and do on my doorstep.

I agree with you op - congested, polluted, grey, dull, culture-less. I guess it depends where you are exactly but there are a lot of suburbs which are super depressing! I'd rather live slap bang in the country or directly in a city.

Isn't traffic worse in cities and parks packed full as many don't have gardens and lots of flats anyway?

That's hardly the suburbs is it! Fields? Deer? Hills?

I completely agree with you! We currently live in a very central part of a large city and while it‘s ludicrously expensive, noisy and crowded, we‘re also surrounded by interesting architecture, a huge variety of cultural offerings, nice shops and great restaurants. We’ll probably want more space and less noise in a few years but would never move to the suburbs - worst of both worlds with very few advantages! I grew up very rurally and would love to go back to that, but suburbia with rows of identikit new-builds is my idea of hell.

I live in a townhouse in a market town centre. 3 minutes on foot to Sainsbury's, Starbucks and the cinema, lovely stuff. 2 miles out it's all 4 bed detached houses on estates off the dual carriageway but had we had one more child we'd have probably ended up there for the garden and 4th bedroom.

You can get an old detached house on a leafty street in town; I can see them from here - but it'll cost you an extra £100k v the suburbs.

That's hardly the suburbs is it! Fields? Deer? Hills?

It's the suburbs to me. I guess it depends on your definition of suburbs but it's a suburb of a major city. I've lived in a city centre and it's nothing like that. I've lived rurally too and it isn't that either. It's between the two. I'm pretty much sandwiched between two towns and a road to a major city and the countryside that lines it.

Where do you live op? We are semi rural and love it. If we are going into the city we go for a reason like to visit friends or an attraction I could face living in a tiny flat with no space around us. We technically live on a housing estate but with decent plots. Most subscribe to the 1/2 children SUV life.

Me too.

Seems to be the worst of all options: busy and polluted like the city centre, but without the vibrancy and amenities, and still far away for a commute.

I'd rather live rurally and commute for a little longer (because in the suburbs you are also still commuting and often for much the same length of time on the slow stopping services or busy roads), or live very close to the city centre with the vibrant amenities and often more interesting/historic housing.

Suburbs = not for us

It's just differences in values for the most part.

So where do you live op?
I find cities noisy, incredibly dirty and there is the constant worry that you are going to be stabbed or have your bag stolen etc.
The countryside is cleaner and more peaceful but there’s not many facilities especially if you have children.
So the suburbs are probably a good compromise.

Unless you live in a zone 1/2 flat or a £££ from the Modern House then most houses in London are identikit Victorian terraces with the same kind of interior styling.

We're definitely a suburb according to everything I can find.

I love living in the suburbs! I couldn't stand the lack of outside space or tiny flats in a city centre, I love my garden in spring/summer. And I couldn't stand the lack of options for anything without driving in the countryside or a village. From mine in 40mins on the tram I can be in Central Manchester, for eating/drinking out, culture etc. Or in 15 mins drive at can be at stables, where there is enough land for 100 horses so plenty of fields and green space. Best of both worlds for me 😁

Yep, lived on a housing estate in a town - endless 30's houses, no shops or services near

Was profoundly depressed for a decade but because I thought it was ME and not my environment did nothing about it

Kids go off to uni, I move into a big city with everything on my doorstep and within a week not depressed at all - and it's NEVER come back.

I gave up a 4 bed house, 400 year old oak trees, 200 foot garden, an allotment (!) - and I LOVED gardening to move into a 2 bed flat with a terrace

Happy every day...

It's a privilege to have choice in where you live.

The suburbs you describe don't sound particularly nice tbf OP, unless you're being deliberately snobby. I'm like @WallabyWay , I live in the suburbs and it's not a concrete jungle. After 10 minutes in the car I can be in a country park, 10 minutes the other direction at a major shopping centre, and 20 minutes another way by car or train I'm in the city centre. I used to live in the city centre, it was great at that time in my life. Now proximity to work, a driveway, outdoor space and great storage space is higher up my priority list. Is it a compromise? Yes. Would I live here if I won the lottery tomorrow? No. But everyone makes the best of what they have, and each to their own.

I live in a suburb in the edge of a large city. It’s semi rural. Bus stop 5 mins away ( regular services) beautiful valleys, hills and open countryside maybe 4 minutes away?

Parks aren’t packed ever.

Pretty much the same as us. We could get much "more" for our money in the suburbs, but we just have no desire to live there.

I completely get you OP. Grew up in a suburban dormitory town. The incredible amount of money swilling around there compared to the near- total lack of culture and aesthetic sensibility is profoundly depressing. I get really down every time I go back.

I agree with you to some extent, speaking as a suburb-dweller. They can lack a distinct sense of place.
But convenient and easy!
I'm happy enough where I am, it suits my life and I'm lucky to be free to choose. But I miss city centre life sometimes.