To find the suburbs a bit depressing?

[StripeyNighty]

I know I’ll get flamed for this, but I really do always feel depressed when I visit city suburbs that friends and family live in, and they’re spread around the country so I can’t even say it’s one particular place.

We visited some friends at the weekend who have recently moved to the suburbs of a medium sized city. Honestly, after 2 days I felt so depressed, yes the weather wasn’t great which doesn’t help as nowhere looks great in grey, gloomy weather but, as usual, it was just rows and rows and rows of almost identikit housing, interspersed with the odd kebab shop, Tesco express and laundrette.

We took their dog for a walk in their local park on the Saturday, it was heaving, dogs and kids everywhere, we witnessed a fight between 2 dogs and then their owners (though that wasn’t physical thank god) I’m not surprised to be honest as there was just no space for people or dogs to get away from one another. It just felt so busy and oppressive.

The traffic was so heavy all day and night, going in and out of the city. We went out into the city on the Saturday night and had to get taxis anyway as they’re nearly 3 miles out of the city and too cold to walk there and back in the eve.

The house prices in those suburbs are pretty extortionate and friends were sort of bragging that they now live in the area, I made all the right noises as horses for courses, but I just kept thinking how is this worth all that money, everyone on top of each other, no nice scenery or culture and putting up with the traffic and poor air quality and the same 2.4 children, SUV type set up everywhere!

I said to DH on the way home, I feel depressed and he joked ‘you always do when we go to suburbia’ and he’s right. Does anyone else feel that way 😳

Suburbia means so many things:

Barratt estate miles from anywhere or handsome Edwardian homes near a well-to-do-high street?
Have to drive or on a tube line?

Three miles from Bristol city centre or forty miles from central London?

I've lived in the suburbs for a lot of my life but in very different kinds of places.

Agree OP! Also the fact that mostly you can't walk anywhere exciting easily. You need to get a bus or drive. I like to go on foot, to have things within reach. I find suburbs a bit soulless.

Growing up in a village, long journeys on the school bus every day after primary. Rarely seeing my school friends as could not get to their villages (mum didn't drive, dad worked long hours). Not being able to get into town easily to see friends, buses were infrequent. All bad for teenagers! I can see a village might be lovely for younger kids.

Depends how you define suburb, I guess

This looks pretty depressing simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suburb#/media/File:Cincinnati-suburbs-tract-housing.jpg

But I feel I have the best of both worlds. 10 mins drive from city centre. 30 mins to the countryside

So - Didsbury in Manchester. Roundhay in Leeds. Morningside in Edinburgh. Chesterton in Cambridge. Stoke Bishop in Bristol. These are all examples of really well regarded suburbs but I suspect the OP actually means "big housing estates" in somewhere like, I dunno, Wokingham? Hard to know without at least a county.

You’ve just described exactly how I felt over the weekend. So claustrophobic with so many dogs, kids and people with the bit of green space within walking distance from their house (the park) just rammed with dogs, kids and bikes.

When I exclaimed over the traffic, my friend said ‘this is nothing, you should see it at school pick up time’ I swear I physically shuddered as I can only imagine.

Are rows and rows of terraced houses in the city not 'identikit' as well?

Is it about the houses or the general feel of the areas?

I found suburbia a functional place to live whilst kids were young but can kind of see your point. I hated walking the dog round the housing estate but very fortunately we were only 15 minute walk or a short drive from a country park and rolling fields.
City living wouldn’t be my cup of tea personally I’m edging slowly out of suburbia until im off grid!

No to be fair, it’s not about the houses really. It’s more of a general feel of the area/s.

I don’t go out at school pick up time, it’s not good for my blood pressure.

@DashboardConfessional I used to live in Manchester and would class Didsbury as a village (town?) in its own right, rather than a suburb. It's got loads of stuff going on. My best friend still lives there and has everything on his doorstep, including his work - rarely has to drive everywhere

To me, a suburb is a dormitory community with rows and rows of identical houses with no space between them and few to no amenities that you don't have to drive to. I suppose that's not a technical or official description though.

@Wiennetta Does anyone actually want to live there or is it just a practical option when your priorities are a driveway and three bedrooms? It just seems like people move to the suburbs as a sensible, practical choice.

What's wrong with that? Is a detached Barratt home with overlooked garden everyone's dream home? No, but it genuinely will be some people's (look on Instagram! Some people lap that up). Is it the best some people can afford while balancing full-time work, a family, a social life etc? Almost definitely.

@StripeyNighty but for me, they just seem to be the worst of both worlds as quite often you’re not near enough to walk into the city, but also not near any proper countryside or beaches etc either.

But you likely have a driveway literally on your doorstep (unlike the city) with a car that can get you to either of those places fairly easily, or a train station or bus stop within easy reach (unlike the countryside). So that's why for a lot of people it's the best of both worlds.

But I'm also confused about what you class as a suburb because I think of towns near cities as suburbs, but it doesn't seem you do OP?

Me too op. I would rather be bang in the centre of town, or out in the wilds, but as always, there are economic and practical factors at play.

I found the matching range rovers on every driveway rather depressing too. Big monster one for dad slightly smaller beast for mum with the obligatory naff personalised plates and cockerpoo on the back seat.

Re Morningside:

I wouldn’t say Morningside was a suburb - it was once a village, after all. It’s an area in South Edinburgh. I think the OP is imagining the sprawling, new build estates outside cities.

…describing not “ imagining”…

I don't like living in cities so the suburbs are just city sprawl to me. But I guess some suburbs are better than others. Ealing was pretty good as far as suburbs go when I lived there. I really don't like those huge estates they just stick up on the edges of town and cities though, totally soulless IMO and always seem to have all sorts of social problems.

www.housebeautiful.com/uk/lifestyle/property/a40373145/most-desirable-suburbs-uk/

If you google Didsbury you get "suburban village". I'm just pointing out that "suburb" is probably not the right word for the OP's issue.

I think the OP is imagining the sprawling, new build estates outside cities.

Who knows what she is talking about. Every suburb is different. It's weird to talk about "the suburbs" as this one homogenous mass. It's like people saying they don't like any of Spain, based on a weekend in Benidorm.

I live in the middle of a small but lively city but I find these threads that completely slag off where other people live - wherever it is - both fucking smug and insulting.

It implies that people must be a bit shit to actually live there and like it, god forbid, compared to the people dissing it

I grew up in a suburb, on a newly built estate with breeze block garden walls and poured concrete roads. It was awesome ! Lots of families, lots of children, never a dull moment. We could not have cared less about the lack of museums and theatres and countryside, and tbh my son (8) doesn't give a shit about those things either - he just wants to hang out with his friends.

As a young adult I was excited to live in the city centre, but I always thought fondly of the suburbs. I wish I could give DS my suburban childhood because he would have loved it.

I like suburbs, but can understand why people don't like them. You have to drive everywhere etc. and if you like to see some life going on through the window, then yeah, suburbs don't offer them as they're rather boring.

Define suburbia please OP.

I live in a suburb of a medium to large city. We have our own high street which is vibrant and has farmer's markets and street markets , fairs, loads of community things going on. I can be in the city centre within 15 mins either on a well served bus route, by car, bike or a 30 mins walk down some lovely canals. There are two very famous sporting venues within a 20 min walk. There are so many facilities within a 15 min drive: swimming, ice skating, canoeing, rowing, football, cricket, skateboarding ,athletics, so much green space. The housing stock is varied and dates from beautiful victorian houses through to more modern stock .The residents are diverse and you know what, its a great place to live. We may not have museums and art galleries nearby but the place has a great community buzz .

There is always something to do and enjoy here.

It all depends on what you like really.

I do enjoy being on the water.

I lived rurally right on a bay but you had to drive 30 minutes at least to get to the grocery or anything. Decided to move after calling for an ambulance took over an hour to get to me plus exH didn't drive.

Absolutely loved that house and property.

We lived temporarily in 1 bedroom in another beach town but shops all around plus train about 20 minutes to the city plus hospital. I'd live there again.

Then moved to a big mansion on the water and again loved that house. Bus and shops easy to get to but it just had the one limited shopping centre.

So for me, being on the water is 1 and a decent amount of shops, vibrancy, and hospital near.

So I rambled on and still don't have a specific name for the area I like.😂 Can't really call it a big city, suburb, or rural.

I live in a lovely suburb. We walk or cycle to school on well lit, wide cycle paths. Walk to sports activities in the area.

There’s a pharmacy, GP, supermarket, dentist, butcher, dry cleaners and a gym within a 10 minute walk of our house. Public transport links are good.
Love my garden. I have nice neighbours too which makes a big difference. We’re 20 minutes drive from a big city and 15 minutes from the mountains.
Not all suburbs are created equal.