To find the suburbs a bit depressing?

[StripeyNighty]

I know I’ll get flamed for this, but I really do always feel depressed when I visit city suburbs that friends and family live in, and they’re spread around the country so I can’t even say it’s one particular place.

We visited some friends at the weekend who have recently moved to the suburbs of a medium sized city. Honestly, after 2 days I felt so depressed, yes the weather wasn’t great which doesn’t help as nowhere looks great in grey, gloomy weather but, as usual, it was just rows and rows and rows of almost identikit housing, interspersed with the odd kebab shop, Tesco express and laundrette.

We took their dog for a walk in their local park on the Saturday, it was heaving, dogs and kids everywhere, we witnessed a fight between 2 dogs and then their owners (though that wasn’t physical thank god) I’m not surprised to be honest as there was just no space for people or dogs to get away from one another. It just felt so busy and oppressive.

The traffic was so heavy all day and night, going in and out of the city. We went out into the city on the Saturday night and had to get taxis anyway as they’re nearly 3 miles out of the city and too cold to walk there and back in the eve.

The house prices in those suburbs are pretty extortionate and friends were sort of bragging that they now live in the area, I made all the right noises as horses for courses, but I just kept thinking how is this worth all that money, everyone on top of each other, no nice scenery or culture and putting up with the traffic and poor air quality and the same 2.4 children, SUV type set up everywhere!

I said to DH on the way home, I feel depressed and he joked ‘you always do when we go to suburbia’ and he’s right. Does anyone else feel that way 😳

For full disclosure we now live in a "new build village", with the oldest parts being about 30 years old. Most people would very much turn their noses up at that. I did when DH suggested it as an area to look at. It's actually an amazing place to raise a family. The facilities are great, a great community feels with lots of inclusive activites, it's well planned, the landscaping is great, real care was taken in how the whole place looked, and we are surrounded by beautiful country sides with great transport links (I can be in central london in 55 minutes). Our primary schools are outstanding (located in the village) and we are in catchments for loads of good secondary schools.

It's easy to be a snob about these things.

☺️ also, the OP has dogs, so she's really no room to complain.

YANBU. I find large areas of the UK really shit.

But then I am a total bumpkin...

I don't recognise the traffic/pollution element you refer to a lot. I live in a suburb of a very small city. We are mainly surrounded by golf courses and small woods between areas of housing. 30min bus to very centre of city. 20min walk to start of shops/pubs/restaurants. I think if you live outside the city and want to get to the centre in rush hour then there's probably traffic, but it doesn't affect me (I don't live on the main arterial road).

@StripeyNighty I agree! Would far rather be in a city properly ,or in a properly rural area.
The “ Ticky tacky” identikit houses, lack of mature trees, endless roundabouts and roads that all look the same.
Most modern houses don’t age well, black algae grows on the render.
”Soulless” is a word I’d use.

But have been inside some of these newbuilds, and they are warm and cozy.

It’s the area that’s soulless.

I think suburbs are areas where there is no green space such as furled between them and the areas all merge together.

So, within the M25 is suburbs - the various areas all merge with roads and housing before you get to the green belt. There are certainly nicer suburbs. Previously, in the 19th and early 20th centuries, what is now zone 2 would have been considered the suburbs and would have been greener than it is today. As the tube expanded, particularly to the north of London, London sprawled outwards. That’s suburbia. Some bits had older properties that had been there before and some still have more green space, but it’s not splitting settlements. The Metropolitian line was developed with different types of housing and ‘zoning’ to attract different level of affluence. There are very affluent suburbs and some with a large proportion of large houses. Some of them border the M25 and green belt. I’m thinking if some of Zone 5 and 6 in north and north west London. Travel 3 or 4 miles further out of M25 and you’re driving through fields for a mile or so, as the villages and towns are not part of the sprawl but remain settlements in their own right. Commuter land - yes. Suburbia - no.

Even a short distance outside the M25 can be quite different - so towns and villages with green space between them….farms and fields.

I think that often people refer to towns outside other cities as suburbia, when actually they are towns and villages on the outskirts of that city, but actually places in their own right and don’t merge into the city itself.

Suburbia doesn’t mean commuter land. Lots of the towns and villages outside the M25 are certainly commuter land - often into deepest Surrey, Hertfordshire, Essex, Kent etc. However places like Guildford, Reigate, Seven Oaks, St Albans are not suburbia.

None taken. It does look bleak from the air in that photo but not so much close up.

Suburbs work for the lifestyle most people lead.

I love living in the middle of nowhere. I feel at my happiest when I'm outdoors or gardening. But I get that living in a remote village would feel isolating and boring for many.

I don't like it as I don't drive, so I feel happier living in a city centre where I can go to more places easily.

In a suburb I feel isolated and like I'm missing out.

When I moved to a city but wasn't in the centre, it felt like I didn't have any of the advantages I moved to a city for.

Yes, you can tell suburbia by looking at an aerial map of an area.

If everything merges, it’s suburbia. If there is green space between settlements and you can see distinct places, it’s not suburbia. It could be called commuter land or satellites or dormer towns or villages of the city, but they aren’t adjoined.

People don't hate new builds because they're new. It's the quality of some of them which is lacking, and the fact that many don't have any character. They're made for profit, so why would they bother with masonry etc

There are some really good new builds in conservation areas etc which have lots of character and are as attractive as traditional buildings

Agree @StripeyNighty I HATE the suburbs. Having lived in a small town, several cities, a large town, and a village (as well as a suburb,) I have to say hate the suburbs.

I hate the cul de sac within a cul de sac within a cul de sac within a cul de sac design, the bus stop being a minimum of 10 to 15 minutes walk away, the shops often being too far away to walk (coz if you buy anything it's too far to walk back,) no nice or decent walks anywhere, (as you can walk for 20 minutes and still be surrounded by houses,) and there's often no secondary school for 2 - 3 miles.

Houses all look the same, there's no community, (or community services or community spirit,) there's often no GP surgery, and it's full of rude and ignorant and hostile people who don't have anything to do with anyone except the neighbours either side.

I live in a village now with 400 people. Parish hall, community groups, 2 pubs, a Church, hobby groups and support groups, little school with 37 children, nursery, Sunday school, buses into the market town 3 miles away every hour, several childminders and petsitters, and everyone speaks when they see you. Only thing it 'lacks' is a secondary school, but a school bus goes there and back every day. Couldn't pay me to move to a suburb again.

I grew up in a rural area, it was incredibly isolating and while I enjoy the countryside for a few days on holiday, I would never move back. There was a very narrow minded element and a lot of bullying at school for anyone who was seen as 'different'.

I love the fact that here (London zone 5/6) DD can see friends easily, and we have excellent and frequent public transport. After living somewhere with no public transport for a decade or so I was very happy to ditch the car.

We have a high street with a range of shops, cafes etc, and as there is a very diverse population the shops etc reflect that.

We have various parks of different sizes and types (some managed as nature reserves, some a sports grounds etc). It is easy to get out of London by train as well, to take the dog for a longer and wilder walk.

On the other hand, there are stretches of the same inter-war housing estate that are a long way from the high street and appear quite bleak. But then, it's impossible to tell when looking from the outside. There may be a strong community spirit and good networks of support.

Basically, I don't see the suburbs as combining the worst of the city and the worst of rural living. Nor is there one type of community that is a 'suburb' and has a universal 'suburb experience'.

Okay, I didn’t want to mention the suburbs we have friends in as it doesn’t seem fair, but as people keep asking what I define as a suburb;

Mapperly, Nottingham
Burnage, Manchester
West Wickham, London
Harbone, Birmingham.

Oh and the house we live in now is 32 years old, much newer than the majority of my friend’s houses who live in the suburbs.

It’s not the houses really, it’s the general feel of a place.

People are welcome not to like suburbs, but no one lives in them for the glamour or excitement!

You live in them for safety and good schools generally.

I would love to live more centrally, but I'm in London and don't have multiple millions spare to have a family home that's any nearer than about Zone 3!

The Gallagher brothers grew up in Burnage. That's as far as my knowledge of it extends.

This Is England.

I thought this was a UK site?

Some people are really big fans of suburban life. they see it on TV and it is their ultimate property goal. I know a few. I would rather go all out rural then do the suburbia thing. Praise the lord that you are not blinkered!

Super duper good for you that you can afford to live rurally and therefore have all that land to judge those who can't.

Praise the lord that you are not blinkered!

Why are people blinkered just because they like the suburbs? That's just utter nonsense. I've done rural living and though I enjoyed aspects of it, ultimately it wasn't for me but I wouldn't criticise anyone for wanting to live in places that I wouldn't choose.

As I’ve repeatedly said, the houses my friends live are worth the same as the one we live in now, some of them more. And we have just under 1/2 an acre, hardly ‘all that land’

We couldn't live in a village because we're a mixed race family. My husband is always anxious about rural areas, and concerned about attitudes and exclusion.
We live in a suburb where there are other non white and mixed families, it suits us because we don't want to live in the middle of a city either.

We live in a trendy suburb of a big city. Lovely centre to our area with independent shops and bars etc and 15 mins into vibrant city centre. Most houses are old so no ‘identikit’ new builds.
I adore it. I grew up in a village (beautiful highly desirable area) and hated every second especially as a teen.
long live the suburbs for me!!