To find the suburbs a bit depressing?

[StripeyNighty]

I know I’ll get flamed for this, but I really do always feel depressed when I visit city suburbs that friends and family live in, and they’re spread around the country so I can’t even say it’s one particular place.

We visited some friends at the weekend who have recently moved to the suburbs of a medium sized city. Honestly, after 2 days I felt so depressed, yes the weather wasn’t great which doesn’t help as nowhere looks great in grey, gloomy weather but, as usual, it was just rows and rows and rows of almost identikit housing, interspersed with the odd kebab shop, Tesco express and laundrette.

We took their dog for a walk in their local park on the Saturday, it was heaving, dogs and kids everywhere, we witnessed a fight between 2 dogs and then their owners (though that wasn’t physical thank god) I’m not surprised to be honest as there was just no space for people or dogs to get away from one another. It just felt so busy and oppressive.

The traffic was so heavy all day and night, going in and out of the city. We went out into the city on the Saturday night and had to get taxis anyway as they’re nearly 3 miles out of the city and too cold to walk there and back in the eve.

The house prices in those suburbs are pretty extortionate and friends were sort of bragging that they now live in the area, I made all the right noises as horses for courses, but I just kept thinking how is this worth all that money, everyone on top of each other, no nice scenery or culture and putting up with the traffic and poor air quality and the same 2.4 children, SUV type set up everywhere!

I said to DH on the way home, I feel depressed and he joked ‘you always do when we go to suburbia’ and he’s right. Does anyone else feel that way 😳

I think the suburb i live in is pretty dreary but it is walking distance of train line, bus route, secondary, sports facilities, and a few local shops/pubs, countryside and a market town. So its convenient. Not as pretty as the rural villages or as intersting as the town. But cheaper.

I thought the “local high street” had a bit of a revival during covid when you couldn’t travel
far. People shopping locally, supporting their local businesses, city centres dead as no one going into work.

I can get pretty much most things in my suburb but town is there if I need it. It’s nice meeting a friend for coffee and not needing to pay crazy prices for parking, and there are more lovely independent places here than in town due to the high rents.

Same with me. I grew up on a naice modern housing estate in the suburbs and it was so, so dull. Absolutely nothing to do, had to drive everywhere which was very restrictive. I go back to visit and it feels suffocating, like someone holding a pillow over my face.

I've been living in my current big city for 9 years and I LOVE it. I feel so happy and alive every time I walk out of my front door. I could buy a bloody mansion in the suburbs for the cost of my city center garden flat, but I'd never want to.

I often joke with DH that if I can throw a rock an hit my neighbour, I don't also want to have to drive to get milk. If I have to drive everywhere I want to be in the arse end of nowhere where I can't see or hear my neighbours.

I don't really understand what the suburbs are. I grew up in z3 in a leafy area with roads full of identical housing & classed it as the suburbs as it wasn't like central London.

As pp said, each to his own.

My DH and I love living in the suburbs.

We both grew up in cities (London) we moved away and now I love living in the suburbs of Birmingham.

A short drive or train ride to all the charms of a city, be that theatre, ballet, Michelin star restaurants, China town or terrific street food, cocktails, shopping etc all on our doorstep.
Similarly we can walk from home and be in parkland, woodland, canals or lake sides, hills, forests and nature reserves.

Our home has a bigger garden than if we were in either city, the streets here are peaceful and we are happy.

But do drop your phone number and I’ll be sure to run it by you op before we move!

If this is your only hassle in life, you are living a charmed life. Or you’re a busybody who loves to be smug about your superior lifestyle.

I find most of the UK grey, wet, and depressing. Everything seems to look run down and dirty.
I'd move abroad if I had the money/qualifications.

We had a park, decent high street & transport links within a short walk.

Living somewhere isolated or where you have to drive for everything would depress me.

Cool story bro.

Suburbs where there's no public transport is very stifling. Don't blame anyone for not liking that to be fair.

Nice suburbs in London and other cities are fine - as you can actually go out to places and then come back to the peace and quiet.

I feel the same OP!

I agree with others- not all suburbs are the same.
I can be in the heart of the city or the airport in 20 minutes, but live surrounded by ancient woodland.
I can see deer from my window, the only sound at night are owls.
The small estate is clean and safe, I have never seen a single piece of litter or a dog poop on the pavements in 7 years living here.
My house is spacious and I have a garden.
Not much I would change.

I think many cities the world over are run down and certainly dirty.

I'm with you OP. We did eventually move out of the city but the only place we really both liked was semi-rural with a great view and a regular bus route. Looked as loads of suburban housing before but I'd feel depressed as soon as I was there. Feels very isolating to me. And I would still rather be in the city centre if we could afford a big enough place

For people asking where I live. I grew up rurally, moved to a city after university, lived there for a few years and loved it, always felt alive and it had beautiful architecture, then met DH and we moved to a pretty market town, in a small cottage, about 2 mins from the town centre, could walk to all of the shops and pubs etc in a couple of minutes. Then, 2 years ago, mainly due to the dogs and wanting a bit of land for them and DC, we moved to a rural village, which is beautiful and I am so thankful every morning when I draw my curtains for the views and peace and quiet, clean air etc. I also love going into the nearest city which is a 25 min drive away, and again, feel so alive when I’m there. But driving through the suburbs to get there I just find depressing, so much traffic, constantly stop start, stop start with roundabouts and traffic lights, people trying to get out to the various retail parks now on the edge of the city, in the suburbs. It just all feels grey and soulless.

I’m not completely dense (promise 😉) Like PP have said, I get the appeal to a lot of people as they are often easy access to the city and out to more greener areas, but for me, they just seem to be the worst of both worlds as quite often you’re not near enough to walk into the city, but also not near any proper countryside or beaches etc either.

Perhaps I’ve just been unfortunate and have only seen not very nice suburbs, but the housing seems so expensive in them and personally I’d rather be city/ town centre or out in the countryside somewhere.

You’re not alone! Hate the suburbs. Does anyone actually want to live there or is it just a practical option when your priorities are a driveway and three bedrooms? It just seems like people move to the suburbs as a sensible, practical choice.

Yes, there are some ‘nice’ or ‘leafy’ suburbs but to me it’s the worst of everything - you don’t have the space and views you’d get in a more rural location and you don’t have the easy access to everything of a city centre. Friends who live in suburbs still have to drive/commute to eg work, social stuff, kids activities etc. Don’t have loads of space as in major cities at least the suburbs are still very pricey.

I live in a city centre and love it - I can walk to the museums, galleries, restaurants, bars etc.

Right, well people like different things.

Suburbs are often convenient becuase they tend to be near cities. Also, not everyone has the choice or privilege to live in a delightful village or bustling city or quaint market town.

FWIW, when we were looking to relocate we looked at some lovely villages but quickly realised that it would be awful to be stuch in a village with small kids with only a postoffice and pub for communal facilities. They were beautiful, but we wanted a bit more going on. We didn't want to live in a city due to the choices of cities and the cost/ crowding/ traffic aspect. We aren't in suburbs now, but I can see why it's convenient and might appeal.

Agree OP. I felt that way even as a child visiting older relatives in their houses. I feared that was ahead of me. It wasn't, luckily.

Does anyone actually want to live there or is it just a practical option when your priorities are a driveway and three bedrooms? It

I actively want to live here. I've lived rurally, in a city centre and I currently live in the suburbs. For me it's my preferred option.

Please can someone give me examples of places that are ‘suburbs’ because I don’t know what they are (I don’t live in a city or that near one, but I’m not in the countryside, however in the town I live in, lots of people commute to London.

I don’t think I’m understanding what is meant by suburb here. I think of where I live as a suburb but it’s only ten minutes out of the city centre. I live five minutes walk away from a busy street with cafes, shops and a pub. Also a few minutes walk from two parks, one mixed woodland and fields and one garden park. Also half an how’s drive away from mountains and coast.

I live in a suburb. Feeling quite hard done by though as we don't have a Tesco express, kebab shop or launderette.

Love living here, we're right on the edge of the city but the city centre is within easy reach, fields at the back of my house with deer, regularly hear owls at night. Loads of families around.

But everyone's different. Living in Zone 1 London would be my absolute hell but some people enjoy it.

I get that, but the suburbs that my friends all live in are expensive, honestly the housing really isn’t any cheaper, in fact more than if you lived in a nearby town or village and I’ve found this to be the case with a lot of suburbs, particularly those outside major city centres, some of the prices are eye watering.

Like I said, I get why people like suburbia, but personally, for whatever reason I’ve always found it depressing and it isn’t somewhere I would brag about living like our friends did at the weekend.

I agree, I live in a highly regarded suburb and I hate it, exactly how you said, people, kids and dogs everywhere. I went out at 5:30am this morning just to walk in isolation and there were already dog walkers everywhere. Every bit of green is built upon, dog shit everywhere, identical “doll house” houses everywhere, constant parking arguments … a few weeks ago I went out for a walk at 6:30am and there were 4 deer strolling around the streets. We have built on their land and now they have nowhere to go. Poor bastards.

I want to move into the countryside and live in peace away from the joggers and cyclists and barking dogs and screaming kids. It’s claustrophobic but oh so much worse in summer.

We have deer and hills in suburban Glasgow. Not everywhere is London and the SE.

Hate living in a village, (I grew up in one) everyone knows your business, no privacy. And if you don't drive, forget about it. In the city could be good, depending on the city, but I like a bit of greenery. Cities can be noisy and have problem areas.

So a nice suburb is the best of both worlds for me.