To find the suburbs a bit depressing?

[StripeyNighty]

I know I’ll get flamed for this, but I really do always feel depressed when I visit city suburbs that friends and family live in, and they’re spread around the country so I can’t even say it’s one particular place.

We visited some friends at the weekend who have recently moved to the suburbs of a medium sized city. Honestly, after 2 days I felt so depressed, yes the weather wasn’t great which doesn’t help as nowhere looks great in grey, gloomy weather but, as usual, it was just rows and rows and rows of almost identikit housing, interspersed with the odd kebab shop, Tesco express and laundrette.

We took their dog for a walk in their local park on the Saturday, it was heaving, dogs and kids everywhere, we witnessed a fight between 2 dogs and then their owners (though that wasn’t physical thank god) I’m not surprised to be honest as there was just no space for people or dogs to get away from one another. It just felt so busy and oppressive.

The traffic was so heavy all day and night, going in and out of the city. We went out into the city on the Saturday night and had to get taxis anyway as they’re nearly 3 miles out of the city and too cold to walk there and back in the eve.

The house prices in those suburbs are pretty extortionate and friends were sort of bragging that they now live in the area, I made all the right noises as horses for courses, but I just kept thinking how is this worth all that money, everyone on top of each other, no nice scenery or culture and putting up with the traffic and poor air quality and the same 2.4 children, SUV type set up everywhere!

I said to DH on the way home, I feel depressed and he joked ‘you always do when we go to suburbia’ and he’s right. Does anyone else feel that way 😳

It depends which suburb, tbh. If London, Streatham and Wembley are depressing, Barnet is lovely.

It really depends although I do know what you mean with some suburbs, particularly in England they can kind of feel like they've had the oxygen sucked out of the air and it's insta-depression.

I lived in one that in general had dull-as-shit architecture, mostly bungalows, but did have some art deco gems in one section... however it was built up the side of the downs with sea views, many people had lovely gardens, so that wasn't in the least depressing.

The obsession Mumsnet posters have with new builds is weird. People have to live somewhere; unless you're giving up your 3000 year old homes with character, new houses need to be built.

I didn't like to live in city centre. I don't want to live rural either. We are now living in leafy suburb of big city. I can walk to gp's, dentist, library, primary and secondary schools, restaurants, shops, pharmacy and parks. City is fifteen minutes drive away and busses go frequently. We lived in this area first in smaller house but we needed more space so we bought bigger one in same area because we like here.

Sometimes I can't help but think there's a jealous element to some of it. I can't live in new homes so I'll bash them to feel better.

Others are just being weirdly snobby about living in old homes.

Well I live in a new built and I’d be the first to admit I’d rather live in an old house as long as it was in the middle of nowhere

I think there are nicer suburbs and not so nice ones. And how far out you are that can count. Walk into town or city, great. A bus journey away , okay.
Too long, and loads of high level traffic = horrible.
Much of the UK is overwhelmed traffic wise. At some point we will come to a standstill.

I have realised I don’t know what a suburb is. Does anyone know a true London suburb? I live on the zone 2/3 junction. It’s not central London and definitely not a village. In my head suburbs are places with family homes with drives and garages, not like where I live. I don’t feel at all like I live in a suburb, more part of London. But who knows?!

Maybe I am in suburb denial?

Funny I have relatives there.

There is Nodnol for a start …

I’ve just googled surburbs of where I live and we apparantly all live in them because it’s just another word for towns 🤷‍♀️

Ok, well fine. They like it and are talking about it. Like I said, people are different.

Sounds a little like your friends got your back up and you've come on here to slag them off.

@BourbonBon I count places like Wimbledon, Balham, Streatham, Richmond, Carshalton etc as London suburbs. All those areas have some roads with driveways & garages although many of the garages are now converted.

@emptythelitterbox

Oops, no offence intended

I don't think it looks pretty, but probably a good layout for getting to know your neighbours. I can imagine kids playing outdoors

Sounds like vast parts of Bristol, especially the northern side. I don’t get the appeal either, all the downsides of urban living, without the benefits but for a premium price.

Also suburbs are mixed bag. Like anywhere else really.There are amazing ones - beautiful houses with lovely amenities and there are some really quite awful ones. Same as living in "a city" or "a village". It actually really means quite little and a generic description and hating all suburbs based on your "friends" location is silly.

I am having difficulty understanding what a suburb is too, I thought it was an outer area of a city or large town (eg Horsforth in Leeds, Woolton in Liverpool, or Bromley, Teddington or Orpington in London - though the latter is a town in its own right I think), Some are nice, some are quite grotty but they all have a city feel to them I think.

If the pp above was referring to Cranbrook, I'd call that a housing estate, not a suburb.

You get soulless retail parks everywhere.

I live in a town which is quite suburban - a bit of a dormitory town for London commuter, but lots of places to walk, countryside very accessible, even on foot, and water (though not coastal). It has good transport links.

And there are too many dogs everywhere.

There are dogs everywhere. Loads of them barking and fighting, that's not the suburbs, that's 2023.

I'd say Wimbledon, Balham and Streatham are "outer city". Richmond and Carshalton are suburbs for me.

x-post!

But London is so huge it's a bit of a special case and we could probably argue for hours over what is a suburb.

Is Milngavie a suburb of Glasgow? Or is it "the outskirts". Anyway it's quite posh and probably doesn't fit the OP's idea of a suburb.

I have no idea if where I live is considered a suburb or not but I know I like it, I can easily access theatres, restaurants, shops, countryside, trains and airports. Basically feels like I have everything pretty handy except there are no beaches!

Is Milngavie a suburb of Glasgow

We're definitely a suburb. Even though we're part of East Dunbartonshire council.

Quite. I've lived in a new build, it needed nothing doing to it and was easy to keep clean..

Generally I feel towns and cities are busier that the suburbs, but it would be very difficult if we all liked the same thing, some hate rural, some hate towns, some hate suburbs,🤷🏻‍♀️