To find the suburbs a bit depressing?

[StripeyNighty]

I know I’ll get flamed for this, but I really do always feel depressed when I visit city suburbs that friends and family live in, and they’re spread around the country so I can’t even say it’s one particular place.

We visited some friends at the weekend who have recently moved to the suburbs of a medium sized city. Honestly, after 2 days I felt so depressed, yes the weather wasn’t great which doesn’t help as nowhere looks great in grey, gloomy weather but, as usual, it was just rows and rows and rows of almost identikit housing, interspersed with the odd kebab shop, Tesco express and laundrette.

We took their dog for a walk in their local park on the Saturday, it was heaving, dogs and kids everywhere, we witnessed a fight between 2 dogs and then their owners (though that wasn’t physical thank god) I’m not surprised to be honest as there was just no space for people or dogs to get away from one another. It just felt so busy and oppressive.

The traffic was so heavy all day and night, going in and out of the city. We went out into the city on the Saturday night and had to get taxis anyway as they’re nearly 3 miles out of the city and too cold to walk there and back in the eve.

The house prices in those suburbs are pretty extortionate and friends were sort of bragging that they now live in the area, I made all the right noises as horses for courses, but I just kept thinking how is this worth all that money, everyone on top of each other, no nice scenery or culture and putting up with the traffic and poor air quality and the same 2.4 children, SUV type set up everywhere!

I said to DH on the way home, I feel depressed and he joked ‘you always do when we go to suburbia’ and he’s right. Does anyone else feel that way 😳

As you say, a village close to a city or large town is ok-ish, but even then you'd be lucky to have a railway station.

It depends on the suburb. Many are like little villages in themselves near nice parks , cafes and shops with quick and easy links to the city centre.
Some suburbs make me feel very depressed some don't

I like the suburbs. I’m a 10 minute drive south into Leeds city centre or the same distance northwards onto the edge of Wharfedale. I’m in a 1930s and whilst it may not be as desirable as older period properties, it has really well proportioned rooms and a large garden. It works well for family life.

they just seem to be the worst of both worlds as quite often you’re not near enough to walk into the city, but also not near any proper countryside or beaches etc either.
I live in the suburbs but can walk to the city centre and in the other direction to the countryside. Not all suburbs are the same

Agree about London. The suburbs are effectively mini towns so you can get lots of interesting stuff going on there. But there are definitely places where it feels more nothingy. I think partly they are places where you need to live and integrate to get the most from them, rather than city centres which make for a good short break.

I think partly they are places where you need to live and integrate to get the most from them

This is so true - suburbs are about the life you live there and the people you know rather than anything an outsider could experience by going there.

@TheYearOfSmallThings I agree totally.

I agree with you about the self-congratulations, it's the same sort of people who always have to have somewhere with character, original features, and preferably an aga! People on more moderate incomes tend to favour modern properties because any repairs that might be required in an older character property will come as more of a nasty shock when your income is lower, you might not be able to afford the work necessary.

However I can't agree that suburbs are always less desirable. Ever heard the phrase 'leafy suburb'? Think of West Bridgford in Nottingham or Edgbaston in Birmingham, desirable places to live, as of course are many London suburbs. All suburbs are not equal. Even the much despised modern estates will probably have a lot going for them.

And I disagree villages are so desirable. All right for the middle classes with their 4 wheel drives, not OK for anyone who can't drive, or for teenagers. Teenagers living in villages have to rely on lifts often. And they are bored (I know I was). Everyone knows everyone else's business in a village, and they can also be quite isolating for the elderly and anyone on a lower income. And some villages are very dull. I'd never go back to a village, however chocolate-boxy.

I agree.

Living on an estate full of lots of other similar soulless houses with nothing nearby is boring (I've done it).

It's not one thing or another.

I'd want to live in the heart of a city or the countryside!

I agree with the last two posters. Unless you ae rich buyinng a house is a compromise ad balance.
Period homes are beautiful but expensive to maintain. City living is great for convenience, but expensive, possible noisy, and may have limited garden and parking.
After a couple of decades of city centre life ( which I really enjoyed) the time came that I needed to breathe, have more space, inside and out. I was growing tired of the hustle and bustle, traffic, dirty pavements.
I now live further from the city, but transport links are good- but I rarely visit the city centre.
My house is 1970s ugly, but huge, easy to heat and cheap to maintain. I would have preferred a manor houseor thatched cottage, but overall happy with my lot

I left my suburb 55 years ago when it was airy. I live in a suburb here but would hate to live in a town.

A 'hell' that people around the world would only dream of. New build houses with modern amenities and roads. You can do far worse than that.

I think it depends on your stage of life and what your likes and dislikes are.

I grew up in a suburb and after years of city living I moved to a house in the ‘suburbs’ of a market town.
we have a lot of green areas.
its quiet
I love it.
I found the city exhausting in the end.
I love to visit the city but I don’t want to live in one any more.
I have a friend who lives in a huge white terrace house in a beautiful west London square. She loves it - but she also goes on holiday twelve times a year at least!

Wealthy London near the river or a huge park or Richmond etc doesn’t feel like the east end of London. City living varies hugely from neighborhood to neighborhood as does suburban living. I find some suburbs very grim but the suburb I live in has variety and I look out of my kitchen window onto trees that are as big as those in a huge London park. There’s so much variety in every place.