To cancel the date and ditch the bloke because of this..

[Raffety]

I've been talking to a man I met online for the past week and a half. We have a date set up for next week. He's very chatty, extremely keen, bordering on too keen really but I was open to seeing how the date. I have been completely put off.

He has taken a picture of me from my social media and sent it to this random bloke (random to me atleast, it's his friend) saying this is the pretty woman I'm taking out next week.

The friend replies "she ain't pretty" and asks him to send a picture of me without a filter on. There's no filter on the picture in the first place.

He then asks him to show him a picture of my teeth!

I know all of this as the guy I'm scheduled to go on a date with thought it would be a great idea to screenshot their exchange and send it to me alongside a request for a picture of my teeth.

Who the fuck does that?

What that says to me is that he has a total disregard for boundaries, my privacy and decency in general. His friend is obviously a prick. Probably the sort who insults people for fun under the guise of "banta mate"

I know I'm not BU for cancelling a date for whatever reason I see fit but do you see this the way I see it or am I being OTT due to embarrassment? How would this make you feel?

I've NC for this.

[VioletCharlotte]

@Theredfoxfliesatmidnight

I swear we as women were genuinely better off when religion and social rules meant that a man had to ask permission from the Father to take his daughter out, and then had to return her by 10 pm. As women collectively it seems we are shit at exercising self respect or enforcing decent behaviour. And therefore men get away with it. These posts make me sad.

Let's change that to -

I swear we as women were genuinely better off when religion and social rules meant that a man had to ask permission from the Father to take his daughter out, and then had to return her by 10 pm. As men collectively are shit at showing respect or decent behaviour.

[Refereeme]

@Raffety

He tried to style it out by saying he's sure women do the same about men behind their backs.

I can't say I ever have personally. Have any of you?

If any friends of mine ever did make jibes about a dates appearance I certainly wouldn't then screenshot it and send it to the man it's about.

I told him his behaviour is quite frankly weird and blocked him. Lucky escape.

It has been a long while since I did online dating, but no I never showed photos of dates to friends. I also have friends that have been online dating and nobody has ever shown me photos of their dates either.

[EmmaEmerald]

@southlondoner02

I wonder if it's a complicated way of 'negging' you - why else would he send you a message telling you his mate doesn't think you're pretty?

Definitely block!

This.

[EmmaEmerald]

Btw how old is he?

[Raffety]

He's 38 believe it or not 🤦🏼‍♀️

[HRTQueen]

Block him

he is already putting you in your place by pmteyofn to put you down

don’t get pulled into these spitiful bully games

[ReneBumsWombats]

@Raffety

He's 38 believe it or not 🤦🏼‍♀️

Why wouldn't we believe it? Why would neggers get better with age?

[Btjdkfnn]

What an immature, idiotic dick head.
Block

[tara66]

@Raffety

He's 38 believe it or not 🤦🏼‍♀️

There's me thinking he can't be older than 17!

[RPost]

Run away!

[Raffety]

I'm not familiar with the word negging and had to look it up but that fits well.

I say "believe it or not" about his age as its bizarre to me that a man pushing 40 would behave in a way you'd expect from a teenage boy.

[BigglyBee]

@MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake

Bizarrro.

'show me her teeth. Are they aware you're a human and not a mare?

It does sound a bit livestock market-ish to me. Like when a sheep farmer checks that sheep are "correct" ie have their teeth and tits in order.

[EmmaEmerald]

@Raffety

He's 38 believe it or not 🤦🏼‍♀️

I was going for 40.

See, I'm learning too. Ten years ago, I'd have thought he was 16.

but I also don't get the bowling ball gag.

anyway, that's another nice evening back in your diary, however you choose to spend it.

[Nugg]

I mean why did he do it in the first place but then TELL you what he said. Bullshit!

[JohnnyYenSetHimselfOnFireAgain]

He's an absolute dickhead. My advice would be to cancel the date, explain why then block him and move on. He sounds like a right gobshite.

[OneTC]

Who the fuck does that?

A total dickhead

[alwayscheery]

Ask him if his friend is a vet!

[BellePeppa]

Well I learnt a new word today (negging). What a strange concept - obnoxiously insult someone so they’ll like you more. Although I suppose it’s a version of school kids being rude to the one they secretly crush on. Horrible sounding man and worse sounding ‘mate’.

[ReneBumsWombats]

@Raffety

I'm not familiar with the word negging and had to look it up but that fits well.

I say "believe it or not" about his age as its bizarre to me that a man pushing 40 would behave in a way you'd expect from a teenage boy.

I don't think teenage boys do it, to be honest. It requires a degree of aforethought, albeit crap aforethought, that they don't really have.

Negging was all the rage in the 90s among sexually frustrated idiots, but it never went away...and it wasn't invented then either. I've read shit from the 1960s with this in. It's the reserve of men who have literally nothing to offer and therefore they have to outrage women into interacting with them at all.

It's actually an even bigger red flag that this wally tried it AFTER he'd actually succeeded in getting you to agree to a date. He's either too stupid even for negging (and that bar is so low it's underground) or he's got something even worse waiting for the date that he knew wouldn't survive unless you were sufficiently battered down and unhappy.

[Saturday82]

I would have instantly blocked him without comment.

[JenniferBooth]

Who are these men? My friend had breast cancer. She told a guy she had been chatting to online (before they met). His response? Was the photo she put up pre or post cancer? And had her...drum roll for the most insensitive comment EVER...breasts changed

Utter fucking arsehole #canweaffordmen

Reminds me of a thread on here years ago where an MNer posted about how she had to wear a baby doll nightie during sex post breast cancer because her mastectomy scar put her "D" H off Pricks!!!

[ChilliBandit]

What is scarier than negging to me is that this man may genuinely believe it’s ok to view a woman as livestock, and get his mates opinion on her teeth and body as one fellow “farmer” to another. Just shudder. It’s clear to me why single women are one of the happiest group in society.

[Genie321]

Send him a close up of his teeth and then block

[Moveoverdarlin]

NEXT!!!!

[Mountainpika]

Send him this.