To cancel the date and ditch the bloke because of this..

[Raffety]

I've been talking to a man I met online for the past week and a half. We have a date set up for next week. He's very chatty, extremely keen, bordering on too keen really but I was open to seeing how the date. I have been completely put off.

He has taken a picture of me from my social media and sent it to this random bloke (random to me atleast, it's his friend) saying this is the pretty woman I'm taking out next week.

The friend replies "she ain't pretty" and asks him to send a picture of me without a filter on. There's no filter on the picture in the first place.

He then asks him to show him a picture of my teeth!

I know all of this as the guy I'm scheduled to go on a date with thought it would be a great idea to screenshot their exchange and send it to me alongside a request for a picture of my teeth.

Who the fuck does that?

What that says to me is that he has a total disregard for boundaries, my privacy and decency in general. His friend is obviously a prick. Probably the sort who insults people for fun under the guise of "banta mate"

I know I'm not BU for cancelling a date for whatever reason I see fit but do you see this the way I see it or am I being OTT due to embarrassment? How would this make you feel?

I've NC for this.

[PKDaisy]

He sounds very immature and probably asks his mates opinion on everything. You are quite right to cut any contact with him.

[Luckypom]

@Raffety

throw him back - in any direction but mine! Wtf do these people think they are at 😕 it’s depressing tbh but at least you know now before having to endure a date without seeing the narcissistic idiot

[ChaliceinWonderland]

Jesus wept!! you can report him in the dating site too, have done this a couple of times when blokes were offensive, eg texted me for a pic so they can have a wank ( ffs) ... there are some truly gross losers out there.

[knittingaddict]

@Roman151

I'd say 100% he's "negging" you - wouldn't even be surprised if the "mate" was him with another number. I don't think this is him being tone deaf, he knows exactly what he's doing - in my opinion.

I'd block and not look back.

That's what I think too. This man and his imaginary friend are having a bit of fun at your expense op.

[callthataspade]

@SideshowBlob why are you asking that here?

[Roman151]

I'd say 100% he's "negging" you - wouldn't even be surprised if the "mate" was him with another number. I don't think this is him being tone deaf, he knows exactly what he's doing - in my opinion.

I'd block and not look back.

[JMSA]

What a fucking idiot. And a lucky escape for you, OP!

[Gemcat1]

The problem is that far too many people make friends through social media and not face to face so don't learn social cues. He probably doesn't think that he's done anything wrong.

[thewoodgnome]

So here’s how I see it:

For him to think you’re the pretty girl he’s going to have a date with, is kinda sweet (well, it could have been if the story ended there).

For him to share the picture with his mate before you’re even in a relationship, is premature (to proudly show a picture of his “girlfriend” to his mates would be ok, but you’re not boyfriend/girlfriend yet - way too early for him to be doing that!)

His mate is a dickhead - No question about that!

For him to forward dickhead’s message to you, and ask for pictures of your teeth, is ridiculous on his part. You are entirely right to cancel the date.

If you feel any desire to help him make better life-decisions in future, perhaps just explain simply to him how he blew his chances with you - then have nothing more to do with him.
If you don’t think he deserves life-lessons to become a better person, just have nothing more to do with him from now onwards.

There are plenty of nice guys out there. Be pleased you aren’t wasting your time with that one! 👍

[shellyleppard]

Sounds like you had a close shave with that one. Block him and report to the police if he keeps hassling you.

[Lindyloomillion1]

God! Block and run! He's a complete creep

[Nanny31]

Romance isn't dead!!🙄

[MadMadaMim]

This would ring massive alarm bells for me.

He is not stupid. What level of stupidity exists where a person sends someone a derogatory transcript of them being mocked and picked apart

He is not stupid. He's clever and sly and manipulative and knows exactly what he's doing. It's a growing trend, sadly. Men purposefully trying to 'break' women under the guise of friendship and dating. Women are often accused of using filters and are referred to as you would animals - teeth and body - like they're purchasing cattle or horses (or worse, harking back to slave purchase).

He should be avoided. You may have had a really lucky escape.

[SEMPA1234567]

I don’t think it’s weird that he sent his friend a picture of someone he was going on a date with or that his mate would give him an honest opinion about what he thought but it is VERY strange that he would then send you a screen shot of their private messages when they were so rude about you! I don’t know why he thought you’d want to see that!

[NattyNatashia]

I'm not sure negging as such, as the comment implies that you look so good there must be a filter on. But trying too hard and weird, dump, block, avoid.

[KatysMumJen]

@Raffety

I've been talking to a man I met online for the past week and a half. We have a date set up for next week. He's very chatty, extremely keen, bordering on too keen really but I was open to seeing how the date. I have been completely put off.

He has taken a picture of me from my social media and sent it to this random bloke (random to me atleast, it's his friend) saying this is the pretty woman I'm taking out next week.

The friend replies "she ain't pretty" and asks him to send a picture of me without a filter on. There's no filter on the picture in the first place.

He then asks him to show him a picture of my teeth!

I know all of this as the guy I'm scheduled to go on a date with thought it would be a great idea to screenshot their exchange and send it to me alongside a request for a picture of my teeth.

Who the fuck does that?

What that says to me is that he has a total disregard for boundaries, my privacy and decency in general. His friend is obviously a prick. Probably the sort who insults people for fun under the guise of "banta mate"

I know I'm not BU for cancelling a date for whatever reason I see fit but do you see this the way I see it or am I being OTT due to embarrassment? How would this make you feel?

I've NC for this.

Fuck him right off.
Go forward knowing you’ve swerved a nutcase.

[Hmm1234]

How did you find out he had sent it to his friend? Do you have mutuals?
it’s definitely cringeworthy but I think a lot of males/ females are doing this nowadays without us even knowing!

[bugsinmybrain]

I'd block

A) you have instincts - don't overthink them and override them
B) I wouldn't want more pictures or information about me shared when I don't even know the person sharing it
C) He can screenshot his mate (I know considering the conversation that's not the point) but it'd only make me think he'd screenshot any argument or worse anything intimate and share with anyone of his partner

[wellstopdoingitthen]

@KettrickenSmiled

Send him this -

& tell him he's dumped before he's out of the starter's gate.

😂 hilarious!

[AlmostaMamma]

@MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake

life's too short for the slow ignore. block and move on.

This. They’re not 15.

[AlmostaMamma]

@Forfrigz

Because it sends a stronger message than blocking. Indifference is worse than hatred etc.

It sends the message that you have time to waste playing childish games with an idiot, imo. It’s wasted effort.

[T1Dmama]

Send back

WTAF!!!!

then block him

[Forfrigz]

@AlmostaMamma

Why would you do all this as opposed to an instant block and delete?

Because it sends a stronger message than blocking. Indifference is worse than hatred etc.

[MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake]

life's too short for the slow ignore. block and move on.