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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To cancel the date and ditch the bloke because of this..

259 replies

Raffety · 06/03/2023 11:44

I've been talking to a man I met online for the past week and a half. We have a date set up for next week. He's very chatty, extremely keen, bordering on too keen really but I was open to seeing how the date. I have been completely put off.

He has taken a picture of me from my social media and sent it to this random bloke (random to me atleast, it's his friend) saying this is the pretty woman I'm taking out next week.

The friend replies "she ain't pretty" and asks him to send a picture of me without a filter on. There's no filter on the picture in the first place.

He then asks him to show him a picture of my teeth!

I know all of this as the guy I'm scheduled to go on a date with thought it would be a great idea to screenshot their exchange and send it to me alongside a request for a picture of my teeth.

Who the fuck does that?

What that says to me is that he has a total disregard for boundaries, my privacy and decency in general. His friend is obviously a prick. Probably the sort who insults people for fun under the guise of "banta mate"

I know I'm not BU for cancelling a date for whatever reason I see fit but do you see this the way I see it or am I being OTT due to embarrassment? How would this make you feel?

I've NC for this.

OP posts:
KevinsChilli · 06/03/2023 12:03

Bloody hell how weird! Block. Delete. Next!

24KaratCucumber · 06/03/2023 12:04

Creepy piece of crap.
Lock down all Social media, get it all on private and make sure to never friend anyone from OLD on any SM.

Aposterhasnoname · 06/03/2023 12:06

A photo of your fucking teeth. What like you’d check the teeth of a prize cow or something?

KettrickenSmiled · 06/03/2023 12:06

Send him this -

& tell him he's dumped before he's out of the starter's gate.

To cancel the date and ditch the bloke because of this..
Northernmama123 · 06/03/2023 12:06

Blimey, I don't suppose you live in Manchester do you? I was on a dating site about 5 years ago and almost the same thing happened to me. He didn't ask me for a pic of my teeth, he wanted a pic of me when I woke up in the morning, to 'prove' my attractiveness as his friend had said my pics were filtered (they weren't)
Bellend behaviour. He wasnt young either, he was 36!

Online dating is rough, lucky escape for you. I'd definitely give him some 'constructive' feedback on his romancing technique

RobertsRadio · 06/03/2023 12:07

I'd send a picture of Shane MacGowan's teeth, pre-dentures obvs, and then dump and block.

monsterradeliciosa · 06/03/2023 12:07

What a tool. When you first get with someone you show them the best version of yourself.

This is the best version of himself.

Think what he's really like.

BellePeppa · 06/03/2023 12:07

Crikey yes cancel. If that’s the kind of friends he has you don’t want to be involved with him in any way. Block and move on.

Catspyjamas17 · 06/03/2023 12:09

He then asks him to show him a picture of my teeth!

What does he think he is doing, going on a date or buying a horse?

Raffety · 06/03/2023 12:09

He tried to style it out by saying he's sure women do the same about men behind their backs.

I can't say I ever have personally. Have any of you?

If any friends of mine ever did make jibes about a dates appearance I certainly wouldn't then screenshot it and send it to the man it's about.

I told him his behaviour is quite frankly weird and blocked him. Lucky escape.

OP posts:
botheredbythis · 06/03/2023 12:09

Wow. What a dick. Block immediately.

Who are these men? My friend had breast cancer. She told a guy she had been chatting to online (before they met). His response? Was the photo she put up pre or post cancer? And had her...drum roll for the most insensitive comment EVER...breasts changed?

botheredbythis · 06/03/2023 12:10

I will, however, say that I met my husband online and he is the best of men, so it's not all bad. Just a painful numbers game.

2bazookas · 06/03/2023 12:10

I'd block him and never meet him.

Raffety · 06/03/2023 12:11

I've just looked at the screenshot again and its not just a teeth picture he wanted but a full body shot aswell so he could pick apart my figure no doubt. What an utter cunt.

OP posts:
RestingMurderousFace · 06/03/2023 12:12

Throw him back into the shallow end of the gene pool.

ReneBumsWombats · 06/03/2023 12:12

If your insta is public then I could understand him sending the link to his friend to discuss the date. Could even understand them having a candid conversation in private. Can't for my fucking life understand what possessed him to screenshot and share it with you. It's weapon level negging or weapon level social ineptitude. Either way, you should definitely not go there.

Good God, how have people with such terrible seduction skills lasted this long in the gene pool? How did they not all get eaten by now?

Raffety · 06/03/2023 12:12

Northernmama123 · 06/03/2023 12:06

Blimey, I don't suppose you live in Manchester do you? I was on a dating site about 5 years ago and almost the same thing happened to me. He didn't ask me for a pic of my teeth, he wanted a pic of me when I woke up in the morning, to 'prove' my attractiveness as his friend had said my pics were filtered (they weren't)
Bellend behaviour. He wasnt young either, he was 36!

Online dating is rough, lucky escape for you. I'd definitely give him some 'constructive' feedback on his romancing technique

Gosh that's v similar!

Not Manchester no. How disappointing to know there are multiple people like this floating about on the dating scene 😐

OP posts:
callthataspade · 06/03/2023 12:14

RestingMurderousFace · 06/03/2023 12:12

Throw him back into the shallow end of the gene pool.

Sorry this had me laughing

But yeah lucky escape and thank god you didn't waste more time on this loser

Don't give up hope. There'll be someone out there! Just don't settle for the dregs!

AlmostaMamma · 06/03/2023 12:14

Remember to also block him on Insta.

FetchezLaVache · 06/03/2023 12:15

I do hope the 1% YABU vote is some kind of mistake!!

NomadicSpirit · 06/03/2023 12:16

Thing that would upset most would be that he didn't put his friend in his place.

Mind you, these days you never can be sure there actually IS a friend and this bloke hasn't got some sort of weird teeth fetish and it's him on both accounts. I can't believe the online world is so screwed up that my brain suggested this.

That aside, you're not being unreasonable at all. If you did date him, I'm sure he'd eventually introduce you to his mate which isn't something I'd want. Plus you were already a little unsure about him.

MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake · 06/03/2023 12:18

it's amazing how many grown men seem to be emotionally stuck at age 15. Their main priority in life being to impress their best mate Big Dave.

Temporaryname158 · 06/03/2023 12:18

Jesus wept!

message to tell him what a tool he is and exactly why you don’t want contact with him. Be blunt. Block him on everything!

there’s a reason he’s single!

CementTrucker · 06/03/2023 12:19

southlondoner02 · 06/03/2023 11:51

I wonder if it's a complicated way of 'negging' you - why else would he send you a message telling you his mate doesn't think you're pretty?

Definitely block!

That’s exactly what I thought. A signal to the op that his pals aren’t impressed and reckon he could do better. How lucky she is that he’s considering her.

I think this is more about head games than him being dim.

ReneBumsWombats · 06/03/2023 12:20

I think this is more about head games than him being dim.

It could be both. With his head, it'll be a shit game.

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