To cancel the date and ditch the bloke because of this..

[Raffety]

I've been talking to a man I met online for the past week and a half. We have a date set up for next week. He's very chatty, extremely keen, bordering on too keen really but I was open to seeing how the date. I have been completely put off.

He has taken a picture of me from my social media and sent it to this random bloke (random to me atleast, it's his friend) saying this is the pretty woman I'm taking out next week.

The friend replies "she ain't pretty" and asks him to send a picture of me without a filter on. There's no filter on the picture in the first place.

He then asks him to show him a picture of my teeth!

I know all of this as the guy I'm scheduled to go on a date with thought it would be a great idea to screenshot their exchange and send it to me alongside a request for a picture of my teeth.

Who the fuck does that?

What that says to me is that he has a total disregard for boundaries, my privacy and decency in general. His friend is obviously a prick. Probably the sort who insults people for fun under the guise of "banta mate"

I know I'm not BU for cancelling a date for whatever reason I see fit but do you see this the way I see it or am I being OTT due to embarrassment? How would this make you feel?

I've NC for this.

[singer15]

Loser behaviour. Sharing a photo with a friend wouldn't bother me, on its own. The idiotic decision to share his stupid friend's comments and also request a photo of your teeth (or tbf, any part of you)... Whether he's just extremely unintelligent or intentionally attempting to undercut your self-confidence, you can do better. Even if that means staying single!!

[Missingpop]

Block; delete; change your profile picture to something like a brick wall, anything that doesn’t identify you & put a privacy filter on your Facebook; messenger; TikTok twitter tge run into the hills & don’t look back; they both sound like nut jobs; I appreciate some people do meet their soul mates on line but they are few & far between; there are far more weirdos & unsavoury people out there, mark this down as a warning & a lucky escape x

[Teenagehorrorbag]

Aw - my DS might do this because he's not neurotypical and if a dodgy 'friend' asked him to send pics etc he would probably think that meant it was OK.

Haven't RTFT so apologies if this has already been suggested.

Dump him - but maybe gently explain why so he can learn from this, rather than assuming he's just a git? (Obvs he may be - but the 'too keen' also suggests he's not great socially, so there may be other things at play)?

Better luck next time .

[StClare101]

Blocking him isn’t even a question. The only thing you need to think about is how you use social media. It’s nuts you were following each other when you hadn’t even met.

[ballsdeep]

@Raffety

I'm definitely blocking him.

Imagine going out to dinner with somebody like that, he'd be taking pictures whilst I'm trying to enjoy the food. Gross.

Goodness knows what he’s be like if you had anything stuck in your teeth

[knittingaddict]

He's toying with you. They both are (if this friend really exists). Men like this like to test boundaries too. Usually to find their next victim who will put up with behaviour like this. Nasty pathetic little man.

[dogsbody1]

As rhe old saying goes uv dodged a bullet literally . I get him being excited bout the date but the thing bout the teeth is wierd and the convo he and his friend had should have been kept private so he didn't scare you off lol

[Forfrigz]

I think the best thing to do in these situation is slowly start to ignore them. For example, this time you could give a short and I direct answer. Next time, wait 8 hours before responding and say something vague. It shows you've lost interest and will bring his ego back down closer to what it should be. Of course, you should never actually entertain this guy so eventually you'll just ignore forever.

[AlmostaMamma]

@Forfrigz

I think the best thing to do in these situation is slowly start to ignore them. For example, this time you could give a short and I direct answer. Next time, wait 8 hours before responding and say something vague. It shows you've lost interest and will bring his ego back down closer to what it should be. Of course, you should never actually entertain this guy so eventually you'll just ignore forever.

Why would you do all this as opposed to an instant block and delete?

[MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake]

life's too short for the slow ignore. block and move on.

[Forfrigz]

@AlmostaMamma

Why would you do all this as opposed to an instant block and delete?

Because it sends a stronger message than blocking. Indifference is worse than hatred etc.

[T1Dmama]

Send back

WTAF!!!!

then block him

[AlmostaMamma]

@Forfrigz

Because it sends a stronger message than blocking. Indifference is worse than hatred etc.

It sends the message that you have time to waste playing childish games with an idiot, imo. It’s wasted effort.

[AlmostaMamma]

@MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake

life's too short for the slow ignore. block and move on.

This. They’re not 15.

[wellstopdoingitthen]

@KettrickenSmiled

Send him this -

& tell him he's dumped before he's out of the starter's gate.

😂 hilarious!

[bugsinmybrain]

I'd block

A) you have instincts - don't overthink them and override them
B) I wouldn't want more pictures or information about me shared when I don't even know the person sharing it
C) He can screenshot his mate (I know considering the conversation that's not the point) but it'd only make me think he'd screenshot any argument or worse anything intimate and share with anyone of his partner

[Hmm1234]

How did you find out he had sent it to his friend? Do you have mutuals?
it’s definitely cringeworthy but I think a lot of males/ females are doing this nowadays without us even knowing!

[KatysMumJen]

@Raffety

I've been talking to a man I met online for the past week and a half. We have a date set up for next week. He's very chatty, extremely keen, bordering on too keen really but I was open to seeing how the date. I have been completely put off.

He has taken a picture of me from my social media and sent it to this random bloke (random to me atleast, it's his friend) saying this is the pretty woman I'm taking out next week.

The friend replies "she ain't pretty" and asks him to send a picture of me without a filter on. There's no filter on the picture in the first place.

He then asks him to show him a picture of my teeth!

I know all of this as the guy I'm scheduled to go on a date with thought it would be a great idea to screenshot their exchange and send it to me alongside a request for a picture of my teeth.

Who the fuck does that?

What that says to me is that he has a total disregard for boundaries, my privacy and decency in general. His friend is obviously a prick. Probably the sort who insults people for fun under the guise of "banta mate"

I know I'm not BU for cancelling a date for whatever reason I see fit but do you see this the way I see it or am I being OTT due to embarrassment? How would this make you feel?

I've NC for this.

Fuck him right off.
Go forward knowing you’ve swerved a nutcase.

[NattyNatashia]

I'm not sure negging as such, as the comment implies that you look so good there must be a filter on. But trying too hard and weird, dump, block, avoid.

[SEMPA1234567]

I don’t think it’s weird that he sent his friend a picture of someone he was going on a date with or that his mate would give him an honest opinion about what he thought but it is VERY strange that he would then send you a screen shot of their private messages when they were so rude about you! I don’t know why he thought you’d want to see that!

[MadMadaMim]

This would ring massive alarm bells for me.

He is not stupid. What level of stupidity exists where a person sends someone a derogatory transcript of them being mocked and picked apart

He is not stupid. He's clever and sly and manipulative and knows exactly what he's doing. It's a growing trend, sadly. Men purposefully trying to 'break' women under the guise of friendship and dating. Women are often accused of using filters and are referred to as you would animals - teeth and body - like they're purchasing cattle or horses (or worse, harking back to slave purchase).

He should be avoided. You may have had a really lucky escape.

[Nanny31]

Romance isn't dead!!🙄

[Lindyloomillion1]

God! Block and run! He's a complete creep

[shellyleppard]

Sounds like you had a close shave with that one. Block him and report to the police if he keeps hassling you.

[thewoodgnome]

So here’s how I see it:

For him to think you’re the pretty girl he’s going to have a date with, is kinda sweet (well, it could have been if the story ended there).

For him to share the picture with his mate before you’re even in a relationship, is premature (to proudly show a picture of his “girlfriend” to his mates would be ok, but you’re not boyfriend/girlfriend yet - way too early for him to be doing that!)

His mate is a dickhead - No question about that!

For him to forward dickhead’s message to you, and ask for pictures of your teeth, is ridiculous on his part. You are entirely right to cancel the date.

If you feel any desire to help him make better life-decisions in future, perhaps just explain simply to him how he blew his chances with you - then have nothing more to do with him.
If you don’t think he deserves life-lessons to become a better person, just have nothing more to do with him from now onwards.

There are plenty of nice guys out there. Be pleased you aren’t wasting your time with that one! 👍