To cancel the date and ditch the bloke because of this..

[Raffety]

I've been talking to a man I met online for the past week and a half. We have a date set up for next week. He's very chatty, extremely keen, bordering on too keen really but I was open to seeing how the date. I have been completely put off.

He has taken a picture of me from my social media and sent it to this random bloke (random to me atleast, it's his friend) saying this is the pretty woman I'm taking out next week.

The friend replies "she ain't pretty" and asks him to send a picture of me without a filter on. There's no filter on the picture in the first place.

He then asks him to show him a picture of my teeth!

I know all of this as the guy I'm scheduled to go on a date with thought it would be a great idea to screenshot their exchange and send it to me alongside a request for a picture of my teeth.

Who the fuck does that?

What that says to me is that he has a total disregard for boundaries, my privacy and decency in general. His friend is obviously a prick. Probably the sort who insults people for fun under the guise of "banta mate"

I know I'm not BU for cancelling a date for whatever reason I see fit but do you see this the way I see it or am I being OTT due to embarrassment? How would this make you feel?

I've NC for this.

[LookingOldTheseDays]

@southlondoner02

I wonder if it's a complicated way of 'negging' you - why else would he send you a message telling you his mate doesn't think you're pretty?

Definitely block!

This is what it is. He's testing how poor your boundaries are.

[derbylass81]

"Yikes, glad you revealed your true self before we met! 😅 Needless so say we will not be meeting in person. Don't contact me again, you're a shambles."

Then block.

What an absolute roaster.

[EL8888]

Block and run. What a total bellend. Not even sure where to start with this!

[MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake]

'Don't contact me again, you're a shambles'

[Willowtre1]

I would block and not even reply or comment, it isn't worth even the nanosecond it would take to reply. Give him nothing in return, he'll get no satisfaction that way

[Ihatethenewlook]

@Raffety

He tried to style it out by saying he's sure women do the same about men behind their backs.

I can't say I ever have personally. Have any of you?

If any friends of mine ever did make jibes about a dates appearance I certainly wouldn't then screenshot it and send it to the man it's about.

I told him his behaviour is quite frankly weird and blocked him. Lucky escape.

I’ve never done this behind a man’s back. I’m not so fucking thick and nasty that if it ever crossed my mind to do it that I’d screenshot it and send it to my date. Also if my friend sent me a pic with the caption ‘look at this handsome man I’m going on a date with’, he could have a face like a melted welly and I’d still reply with ‘oh how lucky are you, I hope you have an amazing time’, because I’m also not a total bitch to piss on someone’s chips and be so rude about someone else’s appearance. His mate might have been pulling his leg a bit, but your dates actions are completely inexcusable. I do hope you give him some sort of explanation of why you’ll be cancelling the date!

[arethereanyleftatall]

Sending a photo to a friend I would say is normal. I do it for safety/ti say I'm excited etc

I would also think asking to see the features of someone is actually reasonable. I don't have loads of time, I don't want to waste 3 hours meeting someone who hadn't got any teeth. Which if you've never shown them, might be the case.

Telling you he did this, and what his friend said, and that being the reason he's asked for teeth shot, is absolutely and utterly absurd. I'd tell him no thanks from that.

[CementTrucker]

@ReneBumsWombats

I think this is more about head games than him being dim.

It could be both. With his head, it'll be a shit game.

Agree - I don’t think we’re talking Machiavellian genius here!

[Raffety]

I think my subconscious was waving around like a nutcase because I felt the need to lie about where I lived to this guy. That's not something I've ever felt the need to do before.

Obviously I don't go around giving my address to potential dates but I've never had any issue saying I live in such and such area (IE town)

I told this one I live 7 miles in the opposite direction.

[blubberball]

What was he going to have you do? Have you walk around a pen in front of his mates, show your teeth, slap your arse and say "She comes from good stock"?

You've had a lucky escape.

[ReneBumsWombats]

Yeah, it's basically negging for the social media age. Tell him it didn't work in 1996 and it doesn't work now. Or just send him this.

[LookingOldTheseDays]

He's obviously deliberately targeting women that he thinks might have low self esteem. He wants someone who is eager to prove that she's good enough for him. Gross.

[icelollycraving]

Don’t follow each other on socials until you’ve at least had a few dates.

[AnneKipankitoo]

I love @KettrickenSmiled photo idea.

[pippinsleftleg]

@TicketBoo23

I know all of this as the guy I'm scheduled to go on a date with thought it would be a great idea to screenshot their exchange and send it to me alongside a request for a picture of my teeth.

I have to admit I lol'd.

He's batshit.

Properly batshit.

He also hangs around with c#nts.

It's a good thing that he's so mad and stupid that he actually did this before you got involved. Bullet dodged.

Me too! Sorry for laughing OP but that’s hilarious!

You are completely right to block him.

[ReneBumsWombats]

@blubberball

What was he going to have you do? Have you walk around a pen in front of his mates, show your teeth, slap your arse and say "She comes from good stock"?

You've had a lucky escape.

I've had worse first dates than that.

[Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov]

Ask him for a screenshot of his bank balance. Except he won't realise you're leaning into the trope. So he'll think you're being serious. Because he is a fool. So maybe don't.

[ReneBumsWombats]

Tbh, the whole point of negging is to get the woman engaging. So it's probably best to cancel the date and go radio silence (he knows why) or just somehow briefly let him know you're aware that he's negging and it isn't going to work. Then nothing. Personally I'd send him the cartoon I posted upthread with no further comment and if he thought we were still on for next week, more fool him.

[ChilliBandit]

Who are the 2% voting YABU, the dickhead and his mate???

YANBU OP, the whole thing just gives me the creeps.

[whattodo1975]

Messaging a friend to say "this is a picture of the person I'm going out with next week, what do you think ? " is fine, we have all done that.

Sharing with the weird conversation he has had with friend, isnt fine, who does that? The conversation itself wouldn't bother me too much but he's clearly got shit social skills if he's shared that and such who wants to date someone like that.

[Brightshinylight]

You can tell a lot by a person’s friends and who they choose to spend time with. His friend is an utter prick and so is he.

block and run…

[MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake]

@ChilliBandit

Who are the 2% voting YABU, the dickhead and his mate???

YANBU OP, the whole thing just gives me the creeps.

Big Smiffy, Little Paul, Stevo, Chiggzy and Daz.

[ReneBumsWombats]

@MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake

Big Smiffy, Little Paul, Stevo, Chiggzy and Daz.

😂

[ChilliBandit]

@MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake

Big Smiffy, Little Paul, Stevo, Chiggzy and Daz.

Don’t forget Shackkers and bald Tony.

[CamoFlamingo]

I had a similar experience except in this scenario the friend insulted my nose. Block him and YANBU.