Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To cancel the date and ditch the bloke because of this..

259 replies

Raffety · 06/03/2023 11:44

I've been talking to a man I met online for the past week and a half. We have a date set up for next week. He's very chatty, extremely keen, bordering on too keen really but I was open to seeing how the date. I have been completely put off.

He has taken a picture of me from my social media and sent it to this random bloke (random to me atleast, it's his friend) saying this is the pretty woman I'm taking out next week.

The friend replies "she ain't pretty" and asks him to send a picture of me without a filter on. There's no filter on the picture in the first place.

He then asks him to show him a picture of my teeth!

I know all of this as the guy I'm scheduled to go on a date with thought it would be a great idea to screenshot their exchange and send it to me alongside a request for a picture of my teeth.

Who the fuck does that?

What that says to me is that he has a total disregard for boundaries, my privacy and decency in general. His friend is obviously a prick. Probably the sort who insults people for fun under the guise of "banta mate"

I know I'm not BU for cancelling a date for whatever reason I see fit but do you see this the way I see it or am I being OTT due to embarrassment? How would this make you feel?

I've NC for this.

OP posts:
MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake · 06/03/2023 12:57

ChilliBandit · 06/03/2023 12:56

Don’t forget Shackkers and bald Tony.

absolute top geezers, those two.

RangSoo · 06/03/2023 12:58

There’s a set of Facebook groups set up to post about men from dating sites to warn others/ask about any potential red flags. I think they’re called ‘Are we dating the same guy?’ Then London/Leeds/Manchester etc

butterfliedtwo · 06/03/2023 12:59

YellowAndGreenToBeSeen · 06/03/2023 11:49

Cancel the date (and tell him why) and then block him.

Yes, this. Definitely tell him. That's super weird.

You dodged one there.

Christmascracker0 · 06/03/2023 13:00

How rude!!! Just ghost and block him on social media, WhatsApp and on your phone so he can’t call/text!

Climbles · 06/03/2023 13:01

He’s negging you and you haven’t even been on a date yet! Block and move along. Why are you even questioning it?

CuriousMama · 06/03/2023 13:01

FetchezLaVache · 06/03/2023 12:15

I do hope the 1% YABU vote is some kind of mistake!!

Just more weird fuckers

ReformedWaywardTeen · 06/03/2023 13:02

Massive red flags.

At least you're not wasting a nice outfit on someone undeserving

Geekydeaky · 06/03/2023 13:03

Me and friends have shared pictures of people we were going on dates with but it wasn't to criticise and it was just the pictures they shared themselves on their dating profile.

I'm in shock he thought it was a good idea to share that with you. Online dating is horrendous at times, it seems to give them the confidence to say whatever pops into their heads like you're not a real person.

Stick with it and you'll find one worth keeping eventually, I've had plenty of WTF moments when dating. I met my fiancé on tinder and four years later he's still a keeper.

KM247 · 06/03/2023 13:03

Dodged a bullet with this one. What an absolute tool!

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 06/03/2023 13:06

F that.

msbevvy · 06/03/2023 13:08

Are you sure that the friend exists?

Arapawa · 06/03/2023 13:09

Totally creepy. <<shudders>>

Raffety · 06/03/2023 13:12

Above the talk about me I could see they had been talking about something completely unrelated so I think the friend does exist, though I guess you can't rule out the sad sack texting himself from another phone 🤦🏼‍♀️

I love that meme about negging. I wish I'd seen it before I blocked him.

OP posts:
BellatrixLestrangesHeatedCurlers · 06/03/2023 13:13

And I'm sure the friend is male model stunning, yes? Not a tobacco-stained toothless frog of a man?

BellaTheDarkOverlord · 06/03/2023 13:14

Teeth? Will the friend next want a full medical from you too? It sounds like he's checking a pony at a show not a potential date!

Snazzysausage · 06/03/2023 13:14

Disgusting.I wonder if he's naturally that grim or if he's been on a specialist grim course. Either way the sad thing is he'll probably eventually reel in someone with very low confidence and self esteem and she'll fall for the "it's only banter line". I do hope not though.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 06/03/2023 13:16

You're being negged here, under the guise of 'this is what my mate said'. He isn't even owning it, which makes him a speshul sort of cowardlycockwomble. Please don't go there. I had something similar many moons ago, before MN existed. It didn't get any better. Save yourself the hassle.

Channellingsophistication · 06/03/2023 13:16

that is really weird, however, at least you won’t have wasted any time dating this creepy man

Mummacake · 06/03/2023 13:18

Raffety · 06/03/2023 12:28

I think my subconscious was waving around like a nutcase because I felt the need to lie about where I lived to this guy. That's not something I've ever felt the need to do before.

Obviously I don't go around giving my address to potential dates but I've never had any issue saying I live in such and such area (IE town)

I told this one I live 7 miles in the opposite direction.

Your gut doesn't lie to you. Looks like everything else has caught up. Give him a swerve & make sure he's blocked everywhere.

SerafinasGoose · 06/03/2023 13:20

ChilliBandit · 06/03/2023 12:46

Who are the 2% voting YABU, the dickhead and his mate???

YANBU OP, the whole thing just gives me the creeps.

Doubtless the new MN members this site is currently hoovering up from the manosphere.

I've no doubt OLD is currently inflicted with the same problem and that's very likely what led to OP's current situation. I'll put a tenner on his never having intended to meet her in the first place.

Seems there are a lot of these types about. They're infesting the internet at an alarming rate.

Theredfoxfliesatmidnight · 06/03/2023 13:20

I swear we as women were genuinely better off when religion and social rules meant that a man had to ask permission from the Father to take his daughter out, and then had to return her by 10 pm. As women collectively it seems we are shit at exercising self respect or enforcing decent behaviour. And therefore men get away with it. These posts make me sad.

Theredfoxfliesatmidnight · 06/03/2023 13:21

Aka why is this even a question.

SerafinasGoose · 06/03/2023 13:22

Theredfoxfliesatmidnight · 06/03/2023 13:20

I swear we as women were genuinely better off when religion and social rules meant that a man had to ask permission from the Father to take his daughter out, and then had to return her by 10 pm. As women collectively it seems we are shit at exercising self respect or enforcing decent behaviour. And therefore men get away with it. These posts make me sad.

We have a live one!

Man behaves like dick.

Women - and womankind in general - are to blame.

Kerching! Full house.

BellatrixLestrangesHeatedCurlers · 06/03/2023 13:23

Theredfoxfliesatmidnight · 06/03/2023 13:20

I swear we as women were genuinely better off when religion and social rules meant that a man had to ask permission from the Father to take his daughter out, and then had to return her by 10 pm. As women collectively it seems we are shit at exercising self respect or enforcing decent behaviour. And therefore men get away with it. These posts make me sad.

Life was great when we were property, eh?

TheOGCCL · 06/03/2023 13:26

Idiotic. Inappropriate. Why would anyone date that.