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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

SIL knowingly took DD out in her pjs

485 replies

pollydolly09 · 05/03/2023 09:56

DD (2years) normally spends one day of the week with SIL. The night before she had spent at my mums who didn't have any clothes for her to get her dressed in the morning, but knew SIL had some as she checked with her beforehand.

Later in the day, SIL posted a picture of DD in a coffee shop. DD was in her pjs. I asked SIL why she was still in pjs and she said she didn't know she wasn't dressed when she picked her up as she already had her coat on and they went out straight away.

I asked my mum what happened during pick up. She said she apologised for not getting DD dressed in the morning, she didn't have any spare clothes but knew SIL did so thought she would get DD ready before taking her out.

So either my mum is lying or SIL is.

Besides the point, you can tell what a child is wearing underneath their coat. DD's coat goes to just above her thighs. SIL would have been able to see her pj bottoms.

Mentioned this to DH who said he'd speak to SIL, but I don't think he has yet otherwise he would have informed me of the outcome of her conversation.

I've also now made a point of getting DD fully dressed before she goes to SIL. DH normally drops her off first thing, before she's even had breakfast, so she isn't dressed as SIL will dress her before going out (well I thought so anyway).

So AIBU to think that SIL knew DD was in her pjs and took her out anyway?

This happened a week ago, but I can't get it off my mind. I don't know if I should just let it go, but it just makes me so angry that my poor baby was taken out looking unkempt.

OP posts:
Siameasy · 05/03/2023 09:56

Yabu

Siameasy · 05/03/2023 09:57

Like the baby cares.

LaFemmeDamnee · 05/03/2023 09:57

She probably knew but it really doesn't matter.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 05/03/2023 09:58

This is not important.

vodkaredbullgirl · 05/03/2023 09:58

Get a grip.

TomatoSandwiches · 05/03/2023 09:59

YABU and very precious, calm down.

cansu · 05/03/2023 09:59

A baby doesn't care. It's a one off. Is it worth a row? I am assuming this childcare is hpful to you? if so I would not be rocking the boat.

Dinosaurpoopy · 05/03/2023 09:59

DH often has 1 year old DS out in pyjamas, he doesn't like to create more washing and thinks he looks cute and comfortable- I'd wish he didn't but its not a huge deal!

PeekAtYou · 05/03/2023 09:59

Your dd won't give a shit. Let it go.

avocadotofu · 05/03/2023 09:59

YABU, I honestly don't think it matters if a little guy is out in their PJs.

Wolfiefan · 05/03/2023 09:59

Your poor baby?? Why? Sounds like you have an awful lot of family help and support. Appreciate that or pay a professional.

pictoosh · 05/03/2023 09:59

What does this matter? This is a victimless event. No one would have noticed and even if they did, what’s the problem?

Dishwashersaurous · 05/03/2023 09:59

I don't quite understand the sequence but I can't imagine a situation, other than an emergency, in which I would send a child overnight somewhere else without clothes to wear the next day.

Nor would I ever drop a child off somewhere not dressed, again other than an emergency.

It sounds like you have alot of family support, a day a week is massive input, and therefore you need to think about whether it's worth getting cross about this.

And if the child goes overnight somewhere again, provide clothes to get them dressed in the morning.

AnonymousArabella · 05/03/2023 10:00

If you allow family members to provide free childcare, and you are trusting them with your child, you have to be ok with letting them do things their way (obvious safety concerns aside). This is not a hill to die on.

carriedout · 05/03/2023 10:00

What is fundamentally different about pjs over other 2yo clothes?

I presume they just wanted to get on with going out and decided it was fine.

MistyFrequencies · 05/03/2023 10:00

Bit dramatic. Im sure your 2 year old doesnt care she was out in her PJs. She was probably just loving being out with her aunty.

RebelDiamonds · 05/03/2023 10:00

Dress your own child if it bothers you that much

FurAndFeathers · 05/03/2023 10:00

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

CarrieSmisher · 05/03/2023 10:00

Your child isn't a poor baby. If you can't see that, then please give yourself a shake. She was in a cafe with her aunt, presumably having a lovely time.

Galadriel90 · 05/03/2023 10:00

Unkempt? Pjs on a two year old is hardly unkempt. You are being ridiculously precious.

ShakespearesBlister · 05/03/2023 10:00

Meanwhile in the real world people were having real life changing dilemmas...

saraclara · 05/03/2023 10:00

Do you pay your SIL for childcare?

CoedenNadoligLanOHyd · 05/03/2023 10:01

Maybe she didn't have time to go home and change her before they were going out.

As long as she was warm, and had a clean nappy then it doesn't really matter.

You're very lucky to have help from family with childcare, why make an issue over nothing?

Thehop · 05/03/2023 10:01

YABVU

MajesticWhine · 05/03/2023 10:01

Doesn't matter

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