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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

SIL knowingly took DD out in her pjs

485 replies

pollydolly09 · 05/03/2023 09:56

DD (2years) normally spends one day of the week with SIL. The night before she had spent at my mums who didn't have any clothes for her to get her dressed in the morning, but knew SIL had some as she checked with her beforehand.

Later in the day, SIL posted a picture of DD in a coffee shop. DD was in her pjs. I asked SIL why she was still in pjs and she said she didn't know she wasn't dressed when she picked her up as she already had her coat on and they went out straight away.

I asked my mum what happened during pick up. She said she apologised for not getting DD dressed in the morning, she didn't have any spare clothes but knew SIL did so thought she would get DD ready before taking her out.

So either my mum is lying or SIL is.

Besides the point, you can tell what a child is wearing underneath their coat. DD's coat goes to just above her thighs. SIL would have been able to see her pj bottoms.

Mentioned this to DH who said he'd speak to SIL, but I don't think he has yet otherwise he would have informed me of the outcome of her conversation.

I've also now made a point of getting DD fully dressed before she goes to SIL. DH normally drops her off first thing, before she's even had breakfast, so she isn't dressed as SIL will dress her before going out (well I thought so anyway).

So AIBU to think that SIL knew DD was in her pjs and took her out anyway?

This happened a week ago, but I can't get it off my mind. I don't know if I should just let it go, but it just makes me so angry that my poor baby was taken out looking unkempt.

OP posts:
Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 05/03/2023 10:06

Wtf it's a total non issue.
My 3.5 yr old occasionally goes out with a pj top on under his coat.

If you make a big deal of this you wil make a big deal of a million other things.

Chill out

saraclara · 05/03/2023 10:06

...it just makes me so angry that my poor baby was taken out looking unkempt.

I probably wouldn't take a child out in their pyjamas, but the above makes you sound ridiculous.

And I really hope your DH didn't say anything, as you'll probably find yourself without that weekly childcare if he does.

Ketchupwee · 05/03/2023 10:06

You are being a bit weird about this, it really isn't important and certainly shouldn't be something that you have been giving headspace to for an entire week

Blendiful · 05/03/2023 10:06

No one else cares if a 2 year old is wearing pjs or clothes.

Honestly I wouldn't even give it a 2nd thought. If you really want DD dressed in day clothes do as you are now and ensure she is dressed before drop off. But it honestly really doesn't matter either way.

MamOfFive · 05/03/2023 10:06

This is a non issue, she's 2 nobody cares if she was in her pjs or not.

dustydog22 · 05/03/2023 10:06

Think yourself lucky that you have a mum and a SIL willing to help you with childcare.

Cheeseandlobster · 05/03/2023 10:07

vodkaredbullgirl · 05/03/2023 09:58

Get a grip.

This. You can't get it out of your head. Really? Sounds like sil provides free childcare too so ungrateful as well as petty

MamOfFive · 05/03/2023 10:07

dustydog22 · 05/03/2023 10:06

Think yourself lucky that you have a mum and a SIL willing to help you with childcare.

^^ this.

The entitlement from op is ridiculous. Hope they stop offering childcare to teach her a lesson!

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 05/03/2023 10:07

I took my 16 month old out in a onesie to get pizza (him - not me!).

We were having the ultimate lazy day.

No one fainted from shock.

icelollycraving · 05/03/2023 10:07

So your child went from one family member straight to another? If you rely this heavily on childcare from family, keep your opinions on this to yourself. The child was presumably comfy, warm and being cared for.

red78hot · 05/03/2023 10:07

I wouldn't be bothered about looking "unkempt" in PJs, however, it's currently 3°c here, pyjamas aren't meant for wearing outside in the cold, I'd be more concerned about that than how she looked.

Sapphire387 · 05/03/2023 10:07

Look after your 'poor baby' yourself then. Problem solved. Is this a reverse?

WinterMusings · 05/03/2023 10:08

OP: 🔥 💣

binoculars & 🍿

MichelleScarn · 05/03/2023 10:08

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

You forgot stick SIL in the stocks and punish her!
@Dinosaurpoopy hope you've made your sil and dm aware of your wrath and disgust so they know not to have any involvement or offer support again! #thoughtsandprayers to you...

notthisagainforest · 05/03/2023 10:08

She's looking after your child one day a week and you have the cheek to moan about such a petty thing. Who cares what a toddler wears

Peppermint81 · 05/03/2023 10:08

Why are you not looking after your own child?
You are lucky to have such family support, you are being very petty.

AnotherForumUser · 05/03/2023 10:08

YABVU - and precious. You do realise if your DH 'speaks' to your SIL the 'outcome' might be you having to find - and fund - new childcare.

Dishwashersaurous · 05/03/2023 10:08

And an overnight with one relative and then day out with another relative is a massive amount of childcare

If you need this childcare for you to work then you absolutely need to be externally grateful and not even think about making a fuss.

If it is so that they can spend time with her then you have a choice. Either you accept how they so things, or you don't and they don't do childcare.

But I also really think, irrespective of which reason they do childcare, this particular instance is on you. You didn't provide your child with clothes on an overnight sleepover

MichelleScarn · 05/03/2023 10:09

Oops sorry @Dinosaurpoopy no idea why it's decided to tag you as OP!+

Paesano · 05/03/2023 10:09

This is such an overreaction I'm not convinced it's real.

You have all that support but you spend a whole week being angry about this. Your daughter has a loving aunt taking her out. I'd have killed for that. Give yourself a talking too and make sure you show your appreciation to your family for being so supportive.

saraclara · 05/03/2023 10:09

Jeeze, I missed the 'dwelling on it for a week' bit.

You must have lovely in-laws if this is indicative of your personality, yet they still do sleepovers and childcare for you.

PuttingDownRoots · 05/03/2023 10:09

As long as the child had had a clean nappy and the pyjamas were reasonably clean, there's no harm really.

Just make sure she always has a couple of changes of clothes in a bag with her.

Toottooot · 05/03/2023 10:09

Wooptie fucking ping.

Slothmomma · 05/03/2023 10:10

My kids are teenagers now - in that time family have never had them stay over and only once stayed over here with them so that me and ex dh could go away for the night - if you value the help you get I would let this go

GreenPlaidShirt · 05/03/2023 10:11

I would be bothered about this, but it seems like I’m the only one.

My husband has taken mine out wearing a pyjama top by accident before, as he didn’t realise, and I was at work, but would never do it on purpose

Its slovenly.