To let my 3yo shower naked after swimming

[Gompurtz]

My LO has nursery after swimming so I try to give him a shower immediately afterwards, removing his costume for the last minute or so. Today, a woman informed me that she found it inappropriate and she "wouldn't let her children shower naked". I told her I found it inappropriate that she was sexualising my 3 year old. Long story short, she told me that "known paedophiles" use the pool and she was trying to be helpful.

So, AIBU reasonable to let him shower starkers? It is a communal changing room. Her unsolicited interference advice has made me question whether I should keep his togs on just to be on the safe side.

So what has the person who objected done about the 'known paedophiles'? Nothing I expect.

I wouldnt let mine. Their bits don't need to be on show for everyone to see. I dont see that as sexualising, I see it as I wouldnt want anyone seeing my child's private parts at all.

Is it single sex showers? If so then not unreasonable.
Showering naked is mandatory at my local (non-british) pool, big signs up all around the showers reminding you (with picture instructions on how to wash properly )

Mine does he's 4 and all the children do but it's a private children's swimming lesson.
I really don't thi k it's a big deal, they play naked in the garden in summer with hospices and paddling pool too.

I don't see it as sexualising just being aware that some people are aroused by children and I wouldn't want them leering at my child but it's up to you if you're happy to risk it.

I wouldn't take the risk.

She isn’t sexualising your child. I’d keep the trunks on simply because it’s a faff with no real benefit. Most children in open swimming showers have their swimming suit on.

I'm on the fence on this one, of course little kids shouldn't be sexualised but I do think we in Britain are quite her up about. Go to Europe and all the kids are naked on the beach, mine aren't not because I'm concerned about paedophiles but sand and sunburn and salt aren't a good mix.

I would keep togs on in a communal shower though.

@LlynTegid quite!

I suppose I just think it's quite a sad state of affairs if a small child can't have a quick shower without someone being offended. But I take the point about why take the risk.

Agree with you entirely. Of course it's ok.

Oh please, they’re 3, you’re with them, you’re literally taking their trunks off and putting a towel round them. Tell her to jog on and to stop looking at your child else you’ll report her for looking at 3 year old boys in the shower.

I don’t think was offended was she? She may be ott about the threat of peadophiles or she may have more information about the people who frequent that swimming pool than you but nothing you have said indicates your son’s nakedness offended her?

Of course it's ok.

He's 3, she's nuts. 'There are known P's'translates to 'I think it's wrong but won't say so'

tell her thank you for her concern, but you're fine thanks'

Then carry on washing your DS before nursery as you have been.

there's no actual risk.

but it's up to you if you're happy to risk it.
Translation-on your head be it! What a horrible thing to say.

I agree with her. In an ideal world it should be fine but we don't live in an ideal world and I don't think it's worth the risk.

Communal showers - but probably single sex, and I'd assume you were in the women's area with your 3yo child? So this other woman is claiming that "known paedophiles" are in the women's showers, at the same time, and that 30 seconds of seeing your 3yo child's genitals might... idk, make them explode? You are there as well. The 3yo isn't naked and unsupervised. What is she suggesting is going to happen, caused by the difference of showering with trunks on or off.

I work at pool its not something I would do we have private showers but people still expose their child in the public ones. Its not fair on other people the child or the poor lifeguards.

I wouldn’t let my child shower naked in public either I’m afraid. I wouldn’t be offended by anyone choosing to do this.. but I would for uncomfortable FOR the child and parent knowing that you don’t truly know who is watching or what their thinking. The thought gives me heeby jeebys that someone could be looking at and thinking about my child in any way other than being an innocent child.

it’s not a risk I would risk taking. But I wouldn’t be offended if that’s how other choose to show their children after swimming.

Can someone tell me what the risk is to this child that is with its mother is? Children are at greater risk from someone they know than from being looked at (if at all) in the shower where there are other children and parents present.

I’m Swedish so in my opinion you always shower naked after gym, pool whatever. I don’t want to walk around with chlorinated water on my skin. I want to get properly clean which I can’t if I shower with clothes on. It’s mad to get offended by anyone being naked in the showers.

Kids under school age just get a free pass to be unclothed in pools/ gardens/ on beaches etc don't they?

I can't believe anyone would bat an eyelid at this, it's completely normal.

It’s not really the risk. It’s just the thought of someone getting sexually aroused by your child.

They will do that regardless if they are that sick. It’s kind of like women hiding their hair so that men don’t lose all control of their urges, I don’t agree with that either.

I think you're missing the point - it's not that his nakedness is offensive, but that it's uncomfortable to think that paedophiles could be getting pleasure from witnessing him.

Are there no private showers there OP?

I kind of agree with her, but I’d never say that to a stranger unless there was some immediate risk and you were with him so there was not. However I think she is correct that people generally would be shocked by how many sex offenders there are in our public spaces. I also think it is appropriate around your sons age to start to teach private parts are private, so that if anything untoward ever happens to him, he knows that this is not ok.